{"title":"All Products","description":"\u003cp\u003eWeird Castle is where the uncomfortable thought you had at 2 a.m. becomes a hat. This is the full catalog — every blunt-force slogan tee, fake-official seal, gag gift, cursed sticker, and deadpan artifact we've issued to date. Civil War 2 deployment gear for the pre-enrolled. Cocaine baggie stickers for the cabinet reorganization you've been putting off. A retirement plan backed entirely by fake gold. If you've been looking for edgy gifts, dark humor merch, funny hats, meme stickers, or satirical gag gifts that actually have a point — something that makes the recipient laugh and then look over their shoulder — you are in the right place.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEverything here punches up, punches sideways, and occasionally punches straight through the drywall of polite society. Weird Castle takes a real swing at power, hypocrisy, and the quietly insane machinery of daily life — then prints it on a hat. Browse the full collection: ugly Christmas sweaters with laser cats, shit show supervisor headwear, slippers engineered for maximum foot suffering, and novelty gifts that a normal store would reject at the pitch meeting. If a normie would call it 'fun' or 'cute,' we started over. If it made us wince and then immediately add it to cart, it shipped.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"civil-war-veteran-hat","title":"Civil War Veteran Hat — Thank You for Your Service (1861-1865)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou served. You fought. You were definitely alive in 1863.\u003c\/strong\u003e This hat says so, and nobody can prove otherwise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the grocery store. Wear it to family dinner. Accept the confused salutes. You’ve earned absolutely nothing, and this hat celebrates that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eMaterials\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eA six-panel cap in black corduroy. The front patch is embroidered — merrowed border, raised lettering. The brim lettering is embroidered too. Adjustable strap at the back. Made in a real production run and shipped from our own stock, because some wars deserve a real hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eReturns + Exchanges\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe accept returns and exchanges within 30 days of delivery. Items must be unworn, unwashed, and still capable of starting arguments. If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44160245694516,"sku":"","price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-civil-war-veteran-hat-f0_4298b390-9ca9-4d88-979a-2ede19527ebd.png?v=1786788500"},{"product_id":"civil-war-2-veteran-hat","title":"Civil War 2 Veteran Hat — Pre-Deployed Since Thanksgiving","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eAmerica’s most anticipated sequel hasn’t dropped yet, but you already served.\u003c\/strong\u003e This hat says “Future Veteran” because you’ve been pre-deployed since your last family group chat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to the cookout. Wear it to the comments section. Salute yourself in the mirror. 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If something’s off, email us with your order number and we’ll make it right.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44163425992756,"sku":null,"price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-civil-war-2-veteran-hat-f0_df843417-5ff9-4d67-ac38-529c8d813419.png?v=1786788511"},{"product_id":"civil-war-veteran-tee","title":"Civil War Veteran T-Shirt — Proudly Served (1861-1865)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou served in the Civil War. You were definitely there. This shirt proves it.\u003c\/strong\u003e All-over printed with crossed muskets, “Civil War Veteran” on front, and “Proudly Served” on back — because if you’re going to lie about your military record, you might as well commit to it with your entire torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Civil War Veteran Tee is a full-body declaration of service you never rendered in a war that ended 160+ years ago. 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Pair it with the Civil War Veteran Hat for full dress uniform status. Or wear it alone and let people figure it out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eReturns + Exchanges\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe accept returns within 30 days. Shirt must be unworn and in original condition. Your imaginary service record remains on file permanently.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMen's Polyester Tee (AOP) unisex cut-and-sew all-over-print tee, 5.16 oz\/yd² (175 g\/m²). 100% brushed polyester. All panels cut and sewn together. Seam thread colour automatically matched to the design. Size and care information printed inside the collar. 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That’s called strategy — something a real veteran would appreciate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003ePerfect For\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePeople who want to confuse everyone at the barbecue\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift sets for the friend who has opinions about everything\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWearing one and leaving the other on your dashboard as a conversation piece\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who thinks America’s best days are both behind and ahead of us\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eReturns + Exchanges\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe accept returns within 30 days. Both hats must be unworn and in original condition. 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