{"title":"Department of Hysteria","description":"\u003cp\u003eEverything in the building that turned out to be about this. Assembled automatically, because enough of it accumulated to be worth a shelf.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"the-commission-season-3-mural-mug","title":"The Commission Season 3 Mural Mug — Funny Season 3 Pixel Art Mural","description":"\u003cp\u003ePainted by the chaotic residents of w\/thecommission, one unhinged tile at a time. This is Season 3 in all its glory. Whatever the hive mind built, we slapped onto this vessel. No edits, no adult supervision, and absolutely no apologies. A permanent record of what happens when you give the internet a shared canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrowdsourced masterpiece or digital graffiti? The answer is yes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to confuse your coworkers during morning meetings.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLimited run: Once it sells out, it stays marked sold out forever as a historical record.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eMakes an incredibly specific gift for anyone who spent way too much time watching pixels change color.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp data-wc-next-lock\u003eThe Commission runs monthly: one shared board anyone can paint, no account needed, at \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/the-commission\"\u003ethe-commission\u003c\/a\u003e. The Season 6 board locks 1 November 2026 at 14:00 UTC — whatever is on it then is what gets printed next.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48191411519540,"sku":"16790555708021223194","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48191411552308,"sku":"19767788153073267025","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-commission-season-3-mural-mug-0_2c4eb295-c34e-4af8-aeac-602709705d4f.png?v=1787993927"},{"product_id":"we-buy-teeth-tee","title":"We Buy Teeth Shirt — Funny Cash for Loose Teeth","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe economy is in the toilet, but your mouth is a goldmine. Forget flipping real estate or hawking diabetic test strips on a highway off-ramp—the real street hustle is strictly calcium. We took the grimiest roadside bandit sign in existence and gave it the glorious, iced-out 90s rap bootleg treatment it deserves.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Tooth Fairy is a scam engineered to underpay minors. This is adult business. Cash in hand, no questions asked, zero paperwork. Whether you lost them in a bar fight, pulled them in a parking lot, or just woke up with a handful of them, we are liquid and ready to buy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium rates for intact bicuspids and gold crowns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe do not require proof of ownership\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlaque will be deducted from total weight at time of sale\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA standard retail fit perfect for late-night parking lot transactions and dental hustles.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48250552516660,"sku":"28833781739671683577","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48250552549428,"sku":"96296801442885500352","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":48250552582196,"sku":"59111245030429231755","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":48250552614964,"sku":"15999754505377624290","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48250552647732,"sku":"18111999980902223328","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48250552680500,"sku":"10497028318774451464","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48250552713268,"sku":"27373902861986741081","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":48250552746036,"sku":"99914154771346313084","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":48250552778804,"sku":"31468008982302945199","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48250552811572,"sku":"39374344846737295435","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48250552844340,"sku":"28862211852663470518","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48250552877108,"sku":"28339654194453138436","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":48250552909876,"sku":"27499429328762945169","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":48250552942644,"sku":"94849251416303771569","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48250552975412,"sku":"24360577106135018918","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48250553008180,"sku":"68697025121906431721","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48250553040948,"sku":"85891016496038429226","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":48250553073716,"sku":"15765170067432930518","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48250553106484,"sku":"17882526669784417733","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48250553139252,"sku":"21708063844489098166","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48250553172020,"sku":"30834564880760151477","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48250553204788,"sku":"23775651116370982795","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":48250553237556,"sku":"25145271048940880021","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48250553270324,"sku":"28274424381691488787","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48250553303092,"sku":"31892299322372783322","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-we-buy-teeth-tee-0_5b634788-78a3-4435-a15f-84e85e688ffc.png?v=1791624122"},{"product_id":"100-proof-holy-spirit-blanket","title":"100 Proof Holy Spirit Blanket — Funny Communion Chalice Wine Pun","description":"\u003cp\u003eBehold the chalice, completely off its hinges and entirely fueled by the blood of Christ (and maybe a little bathtub gin). This funny religious meme blanket is the perfect aesthetic for surviving extremely tense family functions, making the front pew highly uncomfortable, and quietly acknowledging that enduring the sermon has always required a two-drink minimum.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: May spontaneously turn tap water into bottom-shelf tequila\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot legally endorsed by the Vatican or any known diocese\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to make youth group leaders visibly sweat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe ultimate unhinged Christian gift for anyone whose theology includes a happy hour\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eWrap yourself up and disassociate in peace while contemplating your favorite church trauma.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"50\" × 60\"","offer_id":48289070710836,"sku":"25327260874843317738","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-100-proof-holy-spirit-blanket-0_fe4170f4-c02a-4942-b540-b8984f1eb9ef.png?v=1788719684"},{"product_id":"lactose-intolerance-gang-war-hoodie","title":"Lactose Intolerance Gang War Hoodie — Funny Dairy Gang Fight","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour gastrointestinal tract is a warzone, and a sentient wedge of cheddar just authorized a hit on your lower intestine. We took the lamest biological weakness on earth and gave it the iced-out, hyper-violent 90s bootleg tribute it deserves with this funny lactose intolerance hoodie.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWatch in horror as cheerful 1930s rubber-hose dairy products ruthlessly jump an unsuspecting human stomach, backed by aggressive typography that demands respect. You don't have a dietary restriction, you have active beef with the entire agricultural sector.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe beef:\u003c\/strong\u003e Strictly pasteurized.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe opps:\u003c\/strong\u003e A two-percent milk jug holding a crowbar.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe fallout:\u003c\/strong\u003e A biological drive-by in a poorly ventilated public restroom.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn absolutely unhinged gift for the dairy-averse soldier in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48315904524340,"sku":"90915108230081065682","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48315904688180,"sku":"35344212232406604306","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48315904852020,"sku":"27618397230851552803","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48315905015860,"sku":"15884501015659330719","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48315905179700,"sku":"20517457488931821579","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48315904491572,"sku":"14427622502131440478","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48315904557108,"sku":"15381048342079472743","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48315904589876,"sku":"25634923006916969935","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48315904622644,"sku":"94840103382969615744","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48315904655412,"sku":"30744462208038418925","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48315904720948,"sku":"27432500924644250251","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48315904753716,"sku":"89536262384829981562","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48315904786484,"sku":"23341228623151028715","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48315904819252,"sku":"99714894898771107684","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48315904884788,"sku":"32455981193082863123","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48315904917556,"sku":"22739238975732301910","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48315904950324,"sku":"17443228394512518025","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48315904983092,"sku":"24976057725783564040","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48315905048628,"sku":"29381726502771104682","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48315905081396,"sku":"97090776776257900785","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48315905114164,"sku":"31218800921404537464","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48315905146932,"sku":"20049073089751211089","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48315905212468,"sku":"20253692065311939006","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48315905245236,"sku":"25684368900813962604","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48315905278004,"sku":"28518077399506602206","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-lactose-intolerance-gang-war-hoodie-0_72375d99-beb8-43b5-bd41-7b031011b1a4.png?v=1791587571"},{"product_id":"extreme-savings-smash-grab-bar-hoodie","title":"Smash \u0026 Grab Bar Hoodie — Funny Crowbar Action Figure","description":"\u003cp\u003eTired of clipping coupons and scanning QR codes for a measly ten percent off? Upgrade your shopping experience with the only discount strategy that actually keeps pace with inflation. Featuring a beautifully rusted crowbar packaged in a neon-soaked 90s action figure blister pack, this unhinged graphic hoodie is ready to help you aggressively slash prices at your favorite big-box retailers.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to instantly reduce MSRP to exactly zero dollars.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVoid where prohibited, which is absolutely everywhere.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: May result in sudden, complimentary rides in the back of a police cruiser.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA comfortable, classic fit layer for your next midnight run to the electronics aisle.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48343920508980,"sku":"10599406721504566432","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48343920672820,"sku":"28426850952155890183","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48343920836660,"sku":"10664904377169858427","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343921000500,"sku":"21996372295186635099","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343921164340,"sku":"19782748284385950217","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343920476212,"sku":"19244656818797026476","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343920541748,"sku":"21252840309513221858","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48343920574516,"sku":"30096475234909283372","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48343920607284,"sku":"74513502904268112273","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343920640052,"sku":"30589741357175156851","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343920705588,"sku":"70706911171689102263","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48343920738356,"sku":"16865056182520852720","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48343920771124,"sku":"31226604627432869833","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343920803892,"sku":"93730137626822056169","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343920869428,"sku":"29259600587311465309","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48343920902196,"sku":"30533891166617644504","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48343920934964,"sku":"29860895873389264179","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343920967732,"sku":"33959200152619212371","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343921033268,"sku":"78708882141447079294","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48343921066036,"sku":"16461475921442508928","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343921098804,"sku":"16264732694721913558","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343921131572,"sku":"33420016820820790705","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343921197108,"sku":"26914110612891131709","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48343921229876,"sku":"18092338445009232029","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343921262644,"sku":"31957050641118625895","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-extreme-savings-smash-grab-bar-hoodie-0_15190627-42e3-4f46-b3c1-23e468debe2f.png?v=1791607888"},{"product_id":"cult-athletics-sticker","title":"CULT Athletics Sticker — Funny Puma Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eBeing in a shadowy demonic cabal isn't just a weekend hobby—it's a high-performance lifestyle choice that demands peak aerodynamic efficiency. If you are going to pledge your eternal soul to the dark lord in the woods, you might as well look like you are officially sponsored to do it with this funny CULT Athletics sticker.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is varsity-level athletic branding for the truly unhinged. Whether you are sprinting away from a neighborhood watch or doing high-intensity interval chanting, finally there is an occult activewear decal for your specific extracurriculars.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not guarantee a sub-six-minute mile or eternal salvation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease log all ritual sacrifices in your synced fitness tracker.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesigned for maximum agility during sudden localized exorcisms.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for laptops, notebooks, or whatever flat indoor surface you use to draft your dark manifesto.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48343923130420,"sku":"12607334254174493293","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48343923163188,"sku":"29728177518363938473","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-cult-athletics-sticker-0_a9f8af8f-9e05-4adb-a4a9-30924cb5344f.png?v=1791568737"},{"product_id":"5-hour-felony-hoodie","title":"5-Hour Felony Hoodie — Funny 5-Hour Energy Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eRight between the unregulated delta-8 gummies and the dust-covered rhino pills sits the ultimate checkout-counter impulse buy. We took Dr. Jekyll's original Victorian serum for unleashing mankind's basest, most violent urges and designed a funny energy drink parody hoodie around it. Why drink coffee to survive a shift when you can wear a tribute to neon sludge that immediately overrides your moral compass?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis unhinged novelty hoodie isn't for finishing a spreadsheet; this is for terrorizing the locals and biting the side-view mirrors off parked cars. Do not wear if you have a conscience, a pulse, or a pending court date.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 40,000% of your daily recommended malice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous cane-assaults and top hat materialization\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe FDA has actively begged us to stop mailing them samples\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for any crimes committed while your alter-ego has the wheel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn ideal gag gift for night shift workers, chaos enthusiasts, and connoisseurs of questionable gas station supplements.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48343933747252,"sku":"15877890198897232047","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48343933911092,"sku":"23494897682395509067","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48343934074932,"sku":"87559252363995952309","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343934238772,"sku":"28674958019559192312","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343934402612,"sku":"24327501312831454052","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343933714484,"sku":"90611687697031638306","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343933780020,"sku":"17844267427216550680","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48343933812788,"sku":"33928177122545406308","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48343933845556,"sku":"29297178835282321447","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343933878324,"sku":"12186267532258103076","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343933943860,"sku":"31606689154899162788","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48343933976628,"sku":"31527581418637791773","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934009396,"sku":"94784110347252706578","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343934042164,"sku":"13364973601702027301","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343934107700,"sku":"22754200280866291922","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48343934140468,"sku":"30773934999015539391","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934173236,"sku":"95749417052416600638","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343934206004,"sku":"13087710661856714614","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343934271540,"sku":"18900304889154652231","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48343934304308,"sku":"33922811717156121945","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934337076,"sku":"69256907582320744867","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343934369844,"sku":"23340438515046359197","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343934435380,"sku":"87238649882977271991","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48343934468148,"sku":"99413545699237042734","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934500916,"sku":"12379688270872989477","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-5-hour-felony-hoodie-0_d4b2b5f8-6c51-4c37-83fa-937ab8e7fe7e.png?v=1791565156"},{"product_id":"earth-deportation-photo-t-shirt","title":"Earth Deportation Photo — Elon Musk Alien Meme Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey told us the rockets were for humanity's future. They lied. The truth is right here on this funny meme shirt: a grainy, classified Earth deportation intake photo from a subterranean holding cell. He is just trying to get home, and he is wearing nothing but standard-issue tighty-whities to do it. The torso alone violates at least three known laws of terrestrial physics.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the leak they warned you about. A totally unvarnished, violently uncomfortable glimpse of the tech world's apex predator, stripped of his billions and caught in the headlights. It's the perfect chronically online gift for anyone who knows the overlords aren't just weird—they are fundamentally not from here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not include non-disclosure agreement hush money\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: wearing this may cause spontaneous urges to ruin a social network\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTechnically classified as a Level 4 biological hazard\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to drastically lower your algorithmic reach\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA comfortable everyday tee perfect for doomscrolling, arguing in replies, or subterranean interrogations.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48354424881204,"sku":"15774251142254931042","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48354424913972,"sku":"17504506513268409801","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":48354424946740,"sku":"25848285122615774622","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":48354424979508,"sku":"99988101073888676046","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48354425012276,"sku":"24311119165498168189","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48354425045044,"sku":"38154529159922780571","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48354425077812,"sku":"29744066139088538372","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":48354425110580,"sku":"87717332578475792398","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":48354425143348,"sku":"31476156982380094623","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48354425176116,"sku":"10608444287455525628","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48354425208884,"sku":"26999771305293728490","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48354425241652,"sku":"13496544957348161136","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":48354425274420,"sku":"54964119562441586966","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":48354425307188,"sku":"10876704605833182746","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48354425339956,"sku":"18361047864581431729","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48354425372724,"sku":"25800940718796725604","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48354425405492,"sku":"12495312258429814958","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":48354425438260,"sku":"70150146470975680330","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48354425471028,"sku":"52278230442187863177","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48354425503796,"sku":"83553475743175277794","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48354425536564,"sku":"21739615215058161636","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48354425569332,"sku":"30319787325111590245","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":48354425602100,"sku":"33443588141431435102","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48354425634868,"sku":"17499861433673667709","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48354425667636,"sku":"33382646305525595537","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-earth-deportation-photo-t-shirt-0_9f9deea5-1849-4c06-9adc-b55e89bcfeee.png?v=1791570955"},{"product_id":"curry-on-curry-backstage-grope-mug","title":"Curry On Curry Backstage Grope Mug — Funny Tim Curry","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat happens when an ancient, child-eating cosmic clown bumps into an extraterrestrial mad scientist from Transsexual, Transylvania? A cursed backstage polaroid of pure cinematic degeneracy. This funny Tim Curry mashup mug captures the ultimate collision of his greatest triumphs, caught in the act of a deeply inappropriate Halloween boob-grab.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't your standard spooky season nostalgia bait. This crude, visceral Rocky Horror and IT crossover violates the personal space of two entirely different fandoms at once. Perfect for ruining childhoods, baffling the locals, and firmly establishing that your morning coffee routine comes with a side of absolute, unhinged chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe will not pay for your therapy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero red balloons or meatloaf included.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to explain this novelty gift to a police officer.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":50484192378932,"sku":"81732075029632340916","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":50484192411700,"sku":"20389189623614078794","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-curry-on-curry-backstage-grope-mug-0_7782f1a3-de80-437b-8faa-23e0908e48bc.png?v=1789929250"},{"product_id":"curry-on-curry-backstage-grope-hoodie","title":"Tim Curry On Curry Backstage Grope Mashup Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhat happens when an ancient, child-eating cosmic clown bumps into an extraterrestrial mad scientist from Transsexual, Transylvania? A cursed, high-flash backstage polaroid of pure cinematic degeneracy. It is the ultimate collision of Tim Curry’s greatest triumphs, caught in the act of a deeply inappropriate Halloween boob-grab.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't your standard spooky season Rocky Horror nostalgia bait. This is a crude, visceral horror movie mashup that violates the personal space of two entirely different fandoms at once. Perfect for ruining childhoods, baffling the locals, and firmly establishing that your seasonal depression comes with a side of absolute, unhinged chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe will not pay for your therapy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero red balloons or meatloaf included.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to explain this novelty hoodie to a police officer.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA comfortable layer perfect for surviving double-feature midnight screenings and cold October nights.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":50484192542772,"sku":"26698498530339491475","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":50484192706612,"sku":"33703888807225024671","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":50484192870452,"sku":"21847163269679784655","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":50484193034292,"sku":"27802882597696652024","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":50484193198132,"sku":"27173229980968630954","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50484192510004,"sku":"22038229698963833220","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50484192575540,"sku":"12172097184298394470","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":50484192608308,"sku":"66897105386502114853","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":50484192641076,"sku":"28486370604300599119","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50484192673844,"sku":"19522277930229016988","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50484192739380,"sku":"33842711086292808883","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":50484192772148,"sku":"19661778512786176594","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":50484192804916,"sku":"24286297331202481362","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50484192837684,"sku":"20107404927610993441","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50484192903220,"sku":"18497585837721798864","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":50484192935988,"sku":"99995964675150969537","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":50484192968756,"sku":"78275671693214550638","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50484193001524,"sku":"15219712596710986466","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50484193067060,"sku":"23309074587319829462","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":50484193099828,"sku":"43183205104626851642","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":50484193132596,"sku":"83246884514923165698","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50484193165364,"sku":"13697768780133335210","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50484193230900,"sku":"28914779968300625948","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":50484193263668,"sku":"19772383447452405810","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":50484193296436,"sku":"86737904541273032240","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-curry-on-curry-backstage-grope-hoodie-0_5c013a95-1622-4e91-9aa8-709c997710a0.png?v=1791569900"},{"product_id":"l-is-for-meth-t-shirt-high-on-life-meme-low-poly-t","title":"L Is For Meth T-Shirt — Funny High On Life T-Pose Meme","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe ultimate wellness mantra for the digitally rotting brain. A beautifully rendered low-poly man asserting dominance via T-pose while delivering an inspirational acrostic that completely fails at basic spelling and immediately pivots to hard narcotics.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for family reunions, court-mandated therapy sessions, and letting people know that your spiritual journey took a massive detour somewhere around 2012. If you are hunting for an unhinged meme t-shirt or a weird internet humor gift for your favorite degenerate, you have reached the summit. You are high on life, and 'life' is just a structural typo.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSpelling is a construct of the sober\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eT-posing establishes immediate dominance over your intervention counselor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWellness checks will be left on read\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA classic, reliable everyday silhouette built for physically manifesting a digital meme in the real world.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67598262403124,"sku":"33775042079134941693","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67598262566964,"sku":"12618704905546109134","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67598262730804,"sku":"15905128427745172098","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67598262894644,"sku":"21771582142869475020","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67598263058484,"sku":"58079828854889915593","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":67598262337588,"sku":"21250440722850315796","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":67598262370356,"sku":"83105536907966853615","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":67598262501428,"sku":"23201331635880450736","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":67598262534196,"sku":"14198797600174655664","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":67598262665268,"sku":"16715477583161860860","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":67598262698036,"sku":"24804200307149626433","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":67598262829108,"sku":"12450465086084339949","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67598262861876,"sku":"41878053137187870000","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":67598262992948,"sku":"31378064800920753713","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67598263025716,"sku":"29103499176607741060","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-l-is-for-meth-t-shirt-high-on-life-meme-low-poly-t-0_9206fe5d-99c7-451d-8a7f-d0dc4212f845.png?v=1791588509"},{"product_id":"urn-pack-bong-rip-hoodie-spooky-season-opens-ghost-smoking-weed-opp","title":"Smoking The Urn Pack Hoodie — Ghost Bong Rip Weed Meme","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome victories demand a higher level of disrespect. When simply outliving your haters isn't enough, it's time to cash in on the ultimate spiritual flex: smoking the urn pack. Taking a massive, ghostly bong rip directly from the cremation vessel of your biggest opp.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis deeply unhinged graphic literalizes the concept of smoking the opposition. It is the definitive weed meme apparel for those who know the best revenge is inhaling the earthly remains of your enemies until you ascend to the astral plane.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: severe risk of demonic coughing fits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for poltergeists spawned by secondhand smoke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 0% tobacco, 100% deceased haters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67649630371892,"sku":"85180482711025056666","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67649630535732,"sku":"86719524084728910746","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67649630699572,"sku":"12631726627111193920","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67649630863412,"sku":"10324252886915497188","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67649630994484,"sku":"21024275926654962225","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67649630339124,"sku":"91051885207687981073","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67649630404660,"sku":"77076116546844403492","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67649630437428,"sku":"28038235963698224147","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67649630470196,"sku":"50439502381208912814","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67649630502964,"sku":"27658653640074105990","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67649630568500,"sku":"30864177805907261482","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67649630601268,"sku":"12195579533524820598","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67649630634036,"sku":"75427555126968777750","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67649630666804,"sku":"16747735997979325546","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67649630732340,"sku":"29698772194465049690","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67649630765108,"sku":"21034791424913628457","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67649630797876,"sku":"15760045559843449905","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67649630830644,"sku":"26212476313037429879","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67649630896180,"sku":"24239212436045793133","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67649630928948,"sku":"12250803085748572904","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67649630961716,"sku":"15033519431496027454","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67649631027252,"sku":"32613498471087669102","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67649631060020,"sku":"22548511100434712892","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-urn-pack-bong-rip-hoodie-spooky-season-opens-ghost-smoking-weed-opp-0_1da3048e-f86f-4d23-8d17-4aa59e6b7e5f.png?v=1791626929"},{"product_id":"urn-pack-bong-rip-t-shirt-spooky-season-opens-ghost-smoking-weed-opp","title":"Smoking That Urn Pack T-Shirt — Funny Ghost Bong Rip Urn","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome victories demand a higher level of disrespect. When simply outliving your haters isn't enough, it's time to cash in on the ultimate spiritual flex and take a massive, ghostly bong rip directly from their brass cremation urn.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis graphic literalizes the concept of smoking the opposition. A deeply unhinged stoner shirt to celebrate a downfall, engineered for those who know the best revenge is inhaling the earthly remains of your enemies until you ascend to the astral plane.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: severe risk of demonic coughing fits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for poltergeists spawned by secondhand smoke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 0% tobacco, 100% deceased haters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe perfect disrespectful novelty tee for your next smoke session or astral projection.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67649631125556,"sku":"18633571320211683065","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67649631158324,"sku":"46985822585376079225","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":67649631191092,"sku":"23158694387333987155","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":67649631223860,"sku":"18586989360848569214","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67649631256628,"sku":"29104644247008481162","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67649631289396,"sku":"27386358313869319609","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67649631322164,"sku":"15018215930433872090","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":67649631354932,"sku":"16828873333469156987","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":67649631387700,"sku":"16618634649901418758","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67649631420468,"sku":"25212572083524094963","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67649631453236,"sku":"22562933741196051706","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67649631486004,"sku":"11593772318657836969","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":67649631518772,"sku":"27895768992009205989","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":67649631551540,"sku":"16049280924027031594","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67649631584308,"sku":"31761833193985641076","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67649631617076,"sku":"58577208376434316379","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67649631649844,"sku":"28375446934393597145","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":67649631682612,"sku":"88659716938650897225","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67649631715380,"sku":"13089755150315622582","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67649631748148,"sku":"28968512392868006296","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67649631780916,"sku":"27208267306032242493","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67649631813684,"sku":"44842588666066419059","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":67649631846452,"sku":"17807405833596522572","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67649631879220,"sku":"87560636955049677548","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67649631911988,"sku":"28283640605136226411","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-urn-pack-bong-rip-t-shirt-spooky-season-opens-ghost-smoking-weed-opp-0_dcdf5664-624b-4f53-b41d-880625c4a156.png?v=1791614612"},{"product_id":"shhh-its-sleeping-hoodie-funny-butter-heart-attack-disease-cardiac","title":"Shhh It's Sleeping Hoodie — Funny Butter Heart Attack Humor","description":"\u003cp\u003eSaturated fat doesn't hate you; it just thinks you look tired. This funny butter heart attack hoodie features a cheerful dairy brick that sees a little muscle working far too hard and just wants to hold it in a permanent embrace. It is not cardiac arrest, it is just a nice, long nap.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in a cold, clinical Swiss pictogram style, this deadpan medical humor design captures the exact moment your coronary arteries decide to take the rest of the day off. Wear this cursed graphic hoodie as a gentle reminder that inside every blocked ventricle is a loving mascot just trying to do its job. A highly inappropriate gift for cardiology professionals, fast food enthusiasts, or anyone with a questionable family history.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not wake the heart.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlaque is just a hug made of pure love.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDefibrillators are considered rude and highly disruptive.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRecommended dosage: one entire stick, served at room temperature.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA classic fit hoodie for your next trip to the emergency room or local drive-thru.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67670802989108,"sku":"24248658655324776563","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67670803152948,"sku":"24205306910428800985","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67670803316788,"sku":"23305648764419613703","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67670803480628,"sku":"36941946785410559359","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67670803611700,"sku":"73735485579524797205","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670802956340,"sku":"17209827487359821830","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670803021876,"sku":"31820979334743213951","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67670803054644,"sku":"11260130385209713507","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67670803087412,"sku":"29644868141824505196","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670803120180,"sku":"19799864653708728225","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670803185716,"sku":"32778221548963560916","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67670803218484,"sku":"28466442597295299583","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67670803251252,"sku":"27925495082855567690","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670803284020,"sku":"21313767749885224999","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670803349556,"sku":"16087598178033866707","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67670803382324,"sku":"14494437376276295518","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67670803415092,"sku":"20355813040797311400","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670803447860,"sku":"22382969225081554587","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670803513396,"sku":"32317083434805996940","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67670803546164,"sku":"20175668305620207980","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67670803578932,"sku":"10885094050890508844","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67670803644468,"sku":"17550274783464507197","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67670803677236,"sku":"26568545383569370741","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-shhh-its-sleeping-hoodie-funny-butter-heart-attack-disease-cardiac-0_7853e8ce-78f4-4218-bd8d-1cf1c02b5cc5.png?v=1791629377"},{"product_id":"i-hate-being-sober-hoodie-grimace-mcdonalds-fast-food-psychedelic","title":"I Hate Being Sober Hoodie - Psychedelic Grimace Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhen your entire existence is designed to sell reconstituted chicken paste to toddlers, sobriety is no longer a viable option. The giant purple taste bud has seen things behind the deep fryers that cannot be unseen, and he requires immediate chemical intervention just to maintain that friendly corporate wave.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWelcome to the psychedelic void where fast-food IP goes to dissociate. This trippy mascot hoodie is for anyone who understands that maintaining a cheerful, brand-safe exterior in a collapsing world requires a heroic lack of sobriety. The perfect unhinged nostalgia gift for late-night drive-thru runs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not taste like a seasonal berry shake\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot recommended for use near regional managers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause severe existential dread in the ball pit\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill absolutely not fix the broken ice cream machine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn everyday layer for your next drive-thru dissociation session.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67670896902196,"sku":"25176704388950682080","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67670897066036,"sku":"16838170602695837830","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67670897229876,"sku":"30367796606621860231","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67670897393716,"sku":"25604541606260119424","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67670897524788,"sku":"33573249961681516909","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670896869428,"sku":"45293423817748685838","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670896934964,"sku":"30009650744100682702","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67670896967732,"sku":"17655336474070262119","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67670897000500,"sku":"33013527764475010484","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670897033268,"sku":"14579958283396644850","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670897098804,"sku":"24852563226305613535","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67670897131572,"sku":"10939370210682297003","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67670897164340,"sku":"94346121142722434767","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670897197108,"sku":"19099641218759609280","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670897262644,"sku":"70689291497697905862","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67670897295412,"sku":"61683085344267995264","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67670897328180,"sku":"19022119333611711532","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67670897360948,"sku":"12092264370333997960","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67670897426484,"sku":"20324238660778548576","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67670897459252,"sku":"17577311376701959019","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67670897492020,"sku":"11943363238898204702","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67670897557556,"sku":"16442182038959521202","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67670897590324,"sku":"10001212711390996462","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-i-hate-being-sober-hoodie-grimace-mcdonalds-fast-food-psychedelic-0_9791142c-157f-46ac-b579-5a5b09410700.png?v=1791598333"},{"product_id":"dont-bite-the-hand-that-fists-you-hoodie-funny-horse-synthwave-dark","title":"Don't Bite The Hand That Fists You Hoodie - Synthwave Horse","description":"\u003cp\u003eNostalgic neon aesthetics crash headfirst into absolute filth. A majestic silhouette of a stallion galloping across a vibrant synthwave sunset, paired with ancient wisdom that you definitely heard wrong. Lisa Frank would never, but we certainly did.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt takes a special kind of visionary to ruin a perfectly good sunset. Bring this out when you need to project the serene confidence of a wild equine while aggressively alienating everyone in the immediate vicinity. The classics are meant to be updated for the modern era.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWisdom passed down through generations of deeply unwell people.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to derail any polite conversation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not ask the synthwave horse for clarification.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA classic fit hooded sweatshirt designed for everyday unhinged lounging.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67671253811252,"sku":"69465944384597946314","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67671253975092,"sku":"10727646083746750250","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67671254138932,"sku":"17511542053179631043","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67671254302772,"sku":"26496729743213808088","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67671254433844,"sku":"25952726730261122394","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67671253778484,"sku":"17811517937739050814","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67671253844020,"sku":"22381652679752789055","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67671253876788,"sku":"16610023174525428516","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67671253909556,"sku":"19190150138218958367","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67671253942324,"sku":"30918252867663895218","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67671254007860,"sku":"95480485933052399601","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67671254040628,"sku":"45472179989654901136","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67671254073396,"sku":"26571750324774674215","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67671254106164,"sku":"30071193430898528418","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67671254171700,"sku":"23320498815428529225","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67671254204468,"sku":"14224035835135295825","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67671254237236,"sku":"84862080635288368861","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67671254270004,"sku":"30082648239868674945","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67671254335540,"sku":"39811182107048242215","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67671254368308,"sku":"19996348663766507924","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67671254401076,"sku":"15674508507289690589","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67671254466612,"sku":"15237568536845896664","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67671254499380,"sku":"65666916782992345626","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-dont-bite-the-hand-that-fists-you-hoodie-funny-horse-synthwave-dark-0_c6d67926-62ea-40aa-938a-f7eeeab8fdab.png?v=1791830083"},{"product_id":"catch-bass-gain-mass-eat-ass-sticker-fishing-funny-gym-bro-fitness","title":"Catch Bass Gain Mass Eat Ass Sticker — Gym Bro Fishing Decal","description":"\u003cp\u003eFinally, a lifestyle doctrine for the modern Renaissance man whose entire personality rotates between the squat rack, the local reservoir, and absolute depravity. You don't have time for nuance when there are reps to hit, lunkers to lip, and boundaries to cross. This funny fishing sticker is the patron saint of peaking early and staying there—a pixelated testament to early morning strikes, questionable pre-workout powder, and whatever happens behind the bait shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill not improve your deadlift or your casting accuracy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe fish does not consent to your aggressive lifestyle.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHR has already seen it, and yes, they have questions.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe are legally required to advise against the third directive.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA top-tier gag gift for the unhinged gym bro or degenerate angler in your life. Perfect for completely ruining the aesthetic of a laptop, tackle box, or protein shaker.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":67671275339828,"sku":"23318288755235315115","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":67671275372596,"sku":"12113892200581235115","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-catch-bass-gain-mass-eat-ass-sticker-fishing-funny-gym-bro-fitness-0_1c8a49b1-43cb-4cf5-bba5-c52926afbe40.png?v=1791916481"},{"product_id":"be-crime-do-gay-thermal-skeleton-hoodie-vision-daggers-queer-meme","title":"Be Crime Do Gay Hoodie - Thermal Skeleton Queer Meme","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou had one job as a menace to society and you got the words mixed up. But honestly, it still works. This funny queer meme hoodie features a rainbow thermal-vision skeleton dual-wielding daggers while aggressively misquoting the internet's favorite threat. It is a vibe that requires zero explanation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIdeal for manifesting chaotic energy, confusing local law enforcement during Pride, and letting everyone know your heat signature is currently registering as a flamboyant felony. The ultimate unhinged LGBTQ+ gift for the dyslexic anarchist in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003ethe fine print:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to physically stab a concept.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eInfrared cannot actually detect sexual orientation, but it can detect how fast you are running from mall security.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDyslexic anarchists have nothing to lose but their ahicns.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeird Castle is not legally responsible for any crimes committed while doing gay, or vice versa.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67672869503028,"sku":"33619955517926676540","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67672869666868,"sku":"27594462094680511874","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67672869830708,"sku":"12242479250870181663","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67672869994548,"sku":"29692502792766073817","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67672870125620,"sku":"12421347501025181167","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672869470260,"sku":"13410933657558829637","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672869535796,"sku":"25707354618704660336","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67672869568564,"sku":"27846011979457773301","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67672869601332,"sku":"32465246245713083817","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672869634100,"sku":"30209135657305303041","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672869699636,"sku":"21154904821891280008","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67672869732404,"sku":"21064680101445460259","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67672869765172,"sku":"14962802775766565793","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672869797940,"sku":"19028511362599170135","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672869863476,"sku":"13290016700434316198","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67672869896244,"sku":"30277288733083971635","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67672869929012,"sku":"12753587159462752638","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672869961780,"sku":"79852315134442170466","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672870027316,"sku":"14329296725008262231","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67672870060084,"sku":"16905773374589890120","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67672870092852,"sku":"31118356225715210775","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67672870158388,"sku":"21853490669869985826","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67672870191156,"sku":"22293304677204899223","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-be-crime-do-gay-thermal-skeleton-hoodie-vision-daggers-queer-meme-0_39fa3cf2-cbf7-4faa-b43a-e84cefc01cb6.png?v=1792002842"},{"product_id":"gay-rights-and-arson-hoodie-committing-death-metal-unhinged-absurd","title":"Gay Rights And Arson Hoodie — Unhinged Death Metal Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt is important to be a good ally, but it is equally important to have hobbies. Why choose between advocating for equality and watching an abandoned commercial property burn to the foundation? This funny unhinged hoodie features an aggressively illegible mass of thorns that spells out the only two political planks that actually matter anymore. A perfect weird gift for anyone who appreciates death metal aesthetics and total chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIdeal for city council meetings, family barbecues, and the smoking crater where the HOA president's house used to be. It lets people know you stand on the right side of history, but also that they should never leave you alone with a book of matches.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAccelerant sold separately.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not wear while attempting insurance fraud.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeird Castle is not legally responsible for your browser search history.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYes, the death metal font is supposed to look like a pile of sticks.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn everyday wardrobe essential for anyone who confidently aligns chaotic good.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67672871305268,"sku":"31948601855282807264","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67672871469108,"sku":"88596794581967085842","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67672871632948,"sku":"28616529974462934026","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67672871796788,"sku":"37308690653022179921","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67672871927860,"sku":"33309104761069606031","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672871272500,"sku":"29637250450938646510","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672871338036,"sku":"27501004264015331948","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67672871403572,"sku":"30991535389367363511","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672871436340,"sku":"28644416032562996335","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672871501876,"sku":"21458430436066627589","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67672871567412,"sku":"80904160601033321033","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672871600180,"sku":"16319809549928283045","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672871665716,"sku":"73072880842130986173","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67672871731252,"sku":"12855456625765913997","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67672871764020,"sku":"14511378837445886430","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67672871829556,"sku":"20995993174909258868","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67672871895092,"sku":"22128604412288134427","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67672871993396,"sku":"97666828993873752415","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-gay-rights-and-arson-hoodie-committing-death-metal-unhinged-absurd-0_8d5bb19d-770a-4386-be4d-583372bb133c.png?v=1792026428"},{"product_id":"we-buy-teeth-sticker","title":"We Buy Teeth Sticker — Funny Cash for Loose Teeth","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe economy is in the toilet, but your mouth is a goldmine. Forget flipping real estate or hawking diabetic test strips on a highway off-ramp—the real street hustle is strictly calcium. We took the grimiest roadside bandit sign in existence and gave it the glorious, iced-out 90s rap bootleg treatment it deserves as a weird novelty sticker.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Tooth Fairy is a scam engineered to underpay minors. This is adult business. Cash in hand, no questions asked, zero paperwork. Whether you lost them in a bar fight, pulled them in a parking lot, or just woke up with a handful of them, we are liquid and ready to buy. A perfectly unhinged laptop or notebook decal for dental professionals and roadside hustlers alike.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium rates for intact bicuspids and gold crowns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe do not require proof of ownership\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlaque will be deducted from total weight at time of sale\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eShips fast and applies easily to flat indoor surfaces for maximum confusion.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":67673946259508,"sku":"35696525211307886243","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":67673946292276,"sku":"23798413065784896246","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-we-buy-teeth-sticker-0_b16959b8-e525-46f5-aa72-7fb7ca004dc1.png?v=1791626956"},{"product_id":"the-streets-are-listening-sticker","title":"The Streets Are Listening Sticker — Funny 90s Rap Mouse","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn 1997, a team of tissue engineers grew a human ear on the back of a hairless mouse, accidentally creating the hardest visual of the decade. Now, the infamous Vacanti lab rat is finally getting the 90s rap bootleg tribute it deserves. When you are literally carrying a massive, laboratory-grown cartilage ear on your spine, you don't just survive the experiment—you flex on it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is for the real ear hustlers. It perfectly captures that exact moment when unhinged scientific hubris meets prime Pen \u0026amp; Pixel swagger. The mouse doesn't know it's a terrifying monument to man playing God; it just knows it has more cartilage than the opps. The streets aren't just watching, they are literally grafted to your back.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo, the mouse could not actually hear out of the back-ear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFully endorsed by the 1997 tissue engineering street team.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to make bioethics majors aggressively avoid eye contact.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for decorating laptops, notebooks, or your untethered hubris.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":67673958580276,"sku":"60150130337025624596","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":67673958613044,"sku":"25001697925517865320","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-streets-are-listening-sticker-0_c958e8ab-9dca-4fdd-915a-a771e61260f1.png?v=1791623287"},{"product_id":"lets-all-go-to-the-lobby-and-fight-god-t-shirt-funny-bbq-hot-dog","title":"Let's Go To The Lobby And Fight God T-Shirt - Funny Meme Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe classic drive-in movie intermission was always a little too chipper. We decided to push those dancing hot dogs and marching sodas past the event horizon. Now they are hyper-dimensional beings of pure weekend degeneracy, and they have one message for the suburbs: it is time to grill meat and throw hands with the creator of the universe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhy settle for a peaceful Saturday afternoon when you could be vibrating at a higher frequency of cosmic violence? This weird meme shirt is for the backyard pitmasters who stare into the charcoal and see the vast, terrifying emptiness of the cosmos staring back, demanding tribute in the form of cheap beer and unprotected psychic combat.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: May cause intense psychic visions of a fifty-foot dancing mustard bottle.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible if you attempt to suplex a celestial body after three domestic lagers.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe retro hot dog is the alpha and the omega, and he is out for blood.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not look directly into the glowing popcorn bucket.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA funny retro drive-in movie tee for anyone who wakes up choosing chaos, esoteric threats, and vintage theater snacks.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67674583629876,"sku":"13044294961512433394","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67674583662644,"sku":"11457538963221360032","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":67674583695412,"sku":"53243523240437287552","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674583728180,"sku":"22868534015866575489","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67674583760948,"sku":"24379100302303523456","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67674583793716,"sku":"32461423572116032188","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67674583826484,"sku":"30155805626851218540","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":67674583859252,"sku":"49484995357817601025","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674583892020,"sku":"24955992886909771801","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67674583924788,"sku":"71786870264107667805","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67674583957556,"sku":"30773684613517321374","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67674583990324,"sku":"32787566950620013549","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":67674584023092,"sku":"12286111635042368274","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674584055860,"sku":"20204163829260332754","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67674584088628,"sku":"12207643832823858474","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67674584121396,"sku":"19752825370745112074","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67674584154164,"sku":"22358762831265757580","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":67674584186932,"sku":"13648533822431409123","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674584219700,"sku":"16996795975563595909","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67674584252468,"sku":"10200208060131532232","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67674584285236,"sku":"12997276202782148489","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67674584318004,"sku":"21049075933742392458","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":67674584350772,"sku":"27200075856776652470","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674584383540,"sku":"33089987591033078707","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67674584416308,"sku":"21431432528646540574","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-lets-all-go-to-the-lobby-and-fight-god-t-shirt-funny-bbq-hot-dog-0_f03fca1e-2c47-4e38-87f0-976c5df85837.png?v=1792369015"},{"product_id":"urn-pack-bong-rip-sticker-ghost-smoking-spooky-season-opens-weed","title":"Smoking That Urn Pack Sticker — Funny Ghost Bong Rip","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome victories demand a higher level of disrespect. When simply outliving your haters isn't enough, it's time to cash in on the ultimate spiritual flex and take a massive, ghostly bong rip directly from their brass cremation urn.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis unhinged graphic sticker literalizes the concept of smoking the opposition. A deeply disrespectful way to celebrate a downfall, engineered for those who know the best revenge is inhaling the earthly remains of your enemies until you ascend to the astral plane.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: severe risk of demonic coughing fits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for poltergeists spawned by secondhand smoke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 0% tobacco, 100% deceased haters\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for laptops, notebooks, and spiritual flexing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlap this funny ghost bong sticker anywhere that requires maximum disrespect. Ships quick.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":67674620592180,"sku":"28576076353296067133","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":67674620624948,"sku":"29725974718843317196","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-urn-pack-bong-rip-sticker-ghost-smoking-spooky-season-opens-weed-0_ff94d446-90d0-477a-8086-fca10a9dffd7.png?v=1791627346"},{"product_id":"the-raccoons-work-for-the-cia-t-shirt-weed-joint-meme-marijuana-420","title":"Raccoons Work For The CIA Shirt - Funny Weed Stoner Conspiracy Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eEveryone knows the arc of a good smoke session. It begins with a deep, spiritual connection to the rustling leaves, and ends forty-five minutes later with you staring through the blinds, absolutely convinced the local wildlife is running surveillance for the deep state. This funny weed meme shirt maps out the exact trajectory of human consciousness as it moves from peaceful Earth-child to unhinged whistleblower. Perfect as a gag gift for that one friend who always ends the night explaining how the sanitation department is a front for MKUltra.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not contain actual psychoactive substances.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe cannot legally protect you from the raccoons.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not look the trash pandas directly in the eyes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThey are absolutely wearing tiny wiretaps.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn everyday unisex tee with a classic retail fit, ideal for your next paranoid late-night snack run.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67674634092596,"sku":"15839842885278065315","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67674634125364,"sku":"31960947998746106535","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":67674634158132,"sku":"31595073958357207535","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674634190900,"sku":"69214325039175207838","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67674634223668,"sku":"31918065764769467389","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67674634256436,"sku":"19402397547830782290","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67674634289204,"sku":"51839473664731624361","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":67674634321972,"sku":"22408955578257505129","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674634354740,"sku":"18968863994025796041","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67674634387508,"sku":"99538025003015889751","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67674634420276,"sku":"15033928325119577503","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67674634453044,"sku":"32711771473222479392","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":67674634485812,"sku":"32539684909705889039","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674634518580,"sku":"32769149340717118135","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67674634551348,"sku":"29210854842741907418","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67674634584116,"sku":"25576858187569098484","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67674634616884,"sku":"57235808193192125326","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":67674634649652,"sku":"23172843491848917828","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674634682420,"sku":"17446714949288865903","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67674634715188,"sku":"73798518301870779976","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67674634747956,"sku":"25923891633417136427","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67674634780724,"sku":"30347133290770512711","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":67674634813492,"sku":"28651394852489865722","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67674634846260,"sku":"14752000269433135996","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67674634879028,"sku":"32497334138415351893","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-raccoons-work-for-the-cia-t-shirt-weed-joint-meme-marijuana-420-0_760fc0d1-3724-492d-afe5-7e99487339cc.png?v=1792974493"},{"product_id":"mouthbreather-malibu-t-shirt-ugly-barbie-doll-plastic-idol-fashion","title":"Mouthbreather Malibu T-Shirt — Ugly Barbie Doll Plastic Idol Fashion","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou wanted the iconic American standard of beauty, but the factory mold degraded in the sun and now she is looking aggressively feral. Here is your plastic idol, stripped of the symmetry that made her marketable and given the bulging, unblinking stare of a creature that bites when cornered.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFinally, a fashion icon for the genetically unoptimized. She does not have a dream mansion, she has a damp basement and an extensive collection of loose teeth. A pop art monument to everything the marketing department tried to airbrush out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAccessories sold separately, mostly consisting of court summons\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not leave in direct sunlight or she will gain sentience\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnatomically incorrect in entirely new and unsettling ways\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67675235582004,"sku":"20437278569037767121","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67675235614772,"sku":"23481590627178237331","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":67675235647540,"sku":"31488730316815610431","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":67675235680308,"sku":"10138493565626220192","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67675235713076,"sku":"29661934488938503125","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67675235745844,"sku":"19798956467448558842","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67675235778612,"sku":"88984431231606816826","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":67675235811380,"sku":"10977334517979201614","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":67675235844148,"sku":"21909825067185431130","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67675235876916,"sku":"18232412420209144097","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67675235909684,"sku":"13501625800709958701","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67675235942452,"sku":"17223855022347237494","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":67675235975220,"sku":"25115082901927217804","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":67675236007988,"sku":"22205350085937606522","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67675236040756,"sku":"22949413089592421975","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67675236073524,"sku":"32337818290864054549","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67675236106292,"sku":"25307726679348666630","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":67675236139060,"sku":"13782960288749211380","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67675236171828,"sku":"17467055518481450144","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67675236204596,"sku":"24604649835555108475","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67675236237364,"sku":"31210270388922491891","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67675236270132,"sku":"22786368665011020076","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":67675236302900,"sku":"19954947748692990442","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67675236335668,"sku":"26732583952387685595","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67675236368436,"sku":"22237517985261922626","price":25.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-mouthbreather-malibu-t-shirt-ugly-barbie-doll-plastic-idol-fashion-0_cc90441a-f699-4fa9-b67d-c33e9ee28535.png?v=1793147400"},{"product_id":"support-local-crime-goose-hoodie-funny-goose-with-knife","title":"Support Local Crime Goose Hoodie — Funny Goose with Knife","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe absolute worst neighbor in your community isn't the guy running a chop shop out of his garage, it’s the fifteen-pound avian psychopath nesting near the retention pond. It's time to invest in your community by backing the real hometown heroes: heavily armed waterfowl with zero impulse control.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in the dignified style of a 19th-century etching, this very serious civic announcement is for those who respect nature’s truest menace. Forget the mom-and-pop diner; throw your support behind the guy hissing at a Honda Civic with a freshly flicked switchblade.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSponsored by the neighborhood association for unprovoked hostility\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not make eye contact with the community outreach coordinator\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBreadcrumbs will be considered a down payment on your continued survival\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67680433438772,"sku":"55821828476086489126","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67680433602612,"sku":"17466220121563516972","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67680433766452,"sku":"22133592054121801122","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67680433930292,"sku":"68457190319416670835","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67680434061364,"sku":"80110253680701694501","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67680433406004,"sku":"27423402452591000914","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67680433471540,"sku":"32372036658893422474","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67680433504308,"sku":"18236198076612009874","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67680433537076,"sku":"13538422251749060755","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67680433569844,"sku":"24956987659317892048","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67680433635380,"sku":"19694754551341591143","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67680433668148,"sku":"98418653110451576550","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67680433700916,"sku":"86234135071258698413","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67680433733684,"sku":"21327706046091963204","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67680433799220,"sku":"10757789078475971444","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67680433831988,"sku":"33928241692462528549","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67680433864756,"sku":"32649593237809350001","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":67680433897524,"sku":"23887896522591200044","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":67680433963060,"sku":"26423324229500311981","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67680433995828,"sku":"13329565562812430987","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67680434028596,"sku":"17078120825444774434","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67680434094132,"sku":"16391641548785959818","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67680434126900,"sku":"32730121009017393707","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-support-local-crime-goose-hoodie-funny-goose-with-knife-0_943a83eb-54ea-4ca1-9723-bc3578de5d00.png?v=1793186540"},{"product_id":"support-local-crime-goose-sticker-funny-goose-with-knife","title":"Support Local Crime Goose Sticker — Funny Goose with Knife","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe absolute worst neighbor in your community isn't the guy running a chop shop out of his garage, it’s the fifteen-pound avian psychopath nesting near the retention pond. It's time to invest in your community by backing the real hometown heroes: heavily armed waterfowl with zero impulse control.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in the dignified style of a 19th-century etching, this very serious civic announcement is for those who respect nature’s truest menace. Forget the mom-and-pop diner; throw your support behind the guy hissing at a Honda Civic with a freshly flicked switchblade.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSponsored by the neighborhood association for unprovoked hostility\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not make eye contact with the community outreach coordinator\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBreadcrumbs will be considered a down payment on your continued survival\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":67680464470068,"sku":"30924105965009778500","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":67680464502836,"sku":"14022682533938426794","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-support-local-crime-goose-sticker-funny-goose-with-knife-0_1f9b9559-1b5d-43d2-8ecd-e3152d8ffae8.png?v=1793186849"},{"product_id":"typa-shit-i-been-on-t-shirt-funny-pony-dirt-bike","title":"Typa Shit I Been On T-Shirt — Funny Pony Dirt Bike","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou cannot explain the unhinged majesty of a miniature horse in a cape doing a twelve o'clock wheelie, you can only channel it. This is the exact energy required to survive the current timeline: absolutely reckless, aggressively tiny, and completely airborne.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for answering \"what have you been up to lately?\" without having to explain your chaotic life choices or why your credit score just tanked. There is no need for self-reflection when you are busy popping a sick one on a two-stroke.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero (0) horsepower, one (1) pony-power.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCape is a severe entanglement hazard near moving spokes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe official uniform of making terrible choices with immense confidence.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":67806000742452,"sku":"11486760402432677824","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":67806000775220,"sku":"33745551846612433893","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":67806000807988,"sku":"73343435272163212751","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":67806000840756,"sku":"13107074991272949953","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":67806000873524,"sku":"25435801874582770875","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":67806000906292,"sku":"33594860614511285578","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":67806000939060,"sku":"30126588122331973223","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":67806000971828,"sku":"14151166466747578427","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":67806001004596,"sku":"31920218259321053518","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":67806001037364,"sku":"82906120678889794120","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":67806001070132,"sku":"26289102089648378974","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":67806001102900,"sku":"21440203468583354049","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":67806001135668,"sku":"31113323911119180605","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":67806001168436,"sku":"29592660531044295068","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":67806001201204,"sku":"14967966330372267527","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":67806001233972,"sku":"31754251138923876850","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67806001266740,"sku":"69410452616468070691","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":67806001299508,"sku":"29361660309123778391","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67806001332276,"sku":"25714878421699781653","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":67806001365044,"sku":"25224471022474227546","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":67806001397812,"sku":"24655522379526637571","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":67806001430580,"sku":"10457075894092731518","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":67806001463348,"sku":"24315749688374401400","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":67806001496116,"sku":"24916388021047782550","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":67806001528884,"sku":"32388035079795904763","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-typa-shit-i-been-on-t-shirt-funny-pony-dirt-bike-0_f27bb3d0-460f-4a8e-b9e7-01be639a32b7.png?v=1792841262"},{"product_id":"typa-shit-i-been-on-hoodie-funny-pony-dirt-bike","title":"Typa Shit I Been On Hoodie — Funny Pony Dirt Bike","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou cannot explain the unhinged majesty of a miniature horse in a cape doing a twelve o'clock wheelie, you can only channel it. This is the exact energy required to survive the current timeline: absolutely reckless, aggressively tiny, and completely airborne.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for answering \"what have you been up to lately?\" without having to explain your chaotic life choices or why your credit score just tanked. There is no need for self-reflection when you are busy popping a sick one on a two-stroke.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero (0) horsepower, one (1) pony-power.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCape is a severe entanglement hazard near moving spokes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe official uniform of making terrible choices with immense confidence.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67806005887028,"sku":"27269194713181102227","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ S","offer_id":67806005919796,"sku":"21702778765556694548","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67806005952564,"sku":"27925379712323602096","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ M","offer_id":67806005985332,"sku":"21861860692375263116","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67806006018100,"sku":"10449241364210445581","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ L","offer_id":67806006050868,"sku":"16459448274586489388","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67806006083636,"sku":"16964227112579064870","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ XL","offer_id":67806006116404,"sku":"32045471308526143149","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67806006149172,"sku":"27684767597403301244","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue Jean \/ 2XL","offer_id":67806006181940,"sku":"33728246602449227901","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-typa-shit-i-been-on-hoodie-funny-pony-dirt-bike-0_5bbd3d01-0779-4a41-86fa-5965ea06c687.png?v=1792841562"},{"product_id":"typa-shit-i-been-on-sticker-funny-pony-dirt-bike","title":"Typa Shit I Been On Sticker — Funny Pony Dirt Bike","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou cannot explain the unhinged majesty of a miniature horse in a cape doing a twelve o'clock wheelie, you can only channel it. This is the exact energy required to survive the current timeline: absolutely reckless, aggressively tiny, and completely airborne.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for answering \"what have you been up to lately?\" without having to explain your chaotic life choices or why your credit score just tanked. There is no need for self-reflection when you are busy popping a sick one on a two-stroke.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero (0) horsepower, one (1) pony-power.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCape is a severe entanglement hazard near moving spokes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe official uniform of making terrible choices with immense confidence.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":67806007558196,"sku":"28041032051131247630","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":67806007590964,"sku":"14971004505553312575","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-typa-shit-i-been-on-sticker-funny-pony-dirt-bike-0_12bbfcfc-577f-4d0a-9793-d69f8bdbae09.png?v=1792841628"}],"url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/collections\/department-of-hysteria.oembed?page=2","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}