{"title":"Department of Spin","description":"\u003cp\u003eEverything in the building that turned out to be about this. Assembled automatically, because enough of it accumulated to be worth a shelf.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"office-of-strategic-narratives-field-ration-unit-mug","title":"Office of Strategic Narratives Mug - Funny Bureaucracy Office Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eRecovered from a conference room that officially never existed, this GSA-surplus ceramic mug saw things it cannot legally confirm. The Office of Strategic Narratives was a real euphemism for a real government function—which means this field ration unit is canonically a vessel for officially sanctioned bullshit kept at a regulated temperature. It was declassified because it no longer matters, or because they want you to think it no longer matters. Handle accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eContents:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lukewarm (depending on your microwave)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassification Status:\u003c\/strong\u003e Declassified (Operationally Irrelevant)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHandle With:\u003c\/strong\u003e Plausible deniability and a coaster\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNot To Be Used For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Any purpose this label acknowledges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIssued By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Weird Castle Field Operations — Narrative Division\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eCeramic mug. White ceramic. 11oz (0.33 l). Rounded corners. C-handle. Dye-sublimation print.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48027614347316,"sku":"31030093390797856929","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-office-of-strategic-narratives-field-ration-unit-mug-0_d9c15e0c-20ad-4100-a2e8-444c9db6f081.png?v=1787866585"},{"product_id":"office-of-strategic-narratives-field-ration-unit-sticker","title":"Office of Strategic Narratives Sticker - Funny Government Decal","description":"\u003cp\u003eRecovered from a conference room that officially never existed, this GSA-surplus Field Ration Unit sticker has seen things it cannot legally confirm. Perfect for slapping on your water bottle or thermos, this heavy-duty decal labels your daily liquids as canonically \u003cem\u003eLukewarm\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Office of Strategic Narratives was a real euphemism for a real government function, making this vinyl sticker the perfect classification tape for your officially sanctioned bullshit. It was declassified because it no longer matters, or because they want you to think it no longer matters. Handle accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eContents:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lukewarm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Interagency. Do not pursue.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eAdhesion:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bureaucratically permanent\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eApplication:\u003c\/strong\u003e Laptops, thermoses, and unredacted dossiers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassification Status:\u003c\/strong\u003e Declassified (Operationally Irrelevant)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eKiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48027614412852,"sku":"45426339208442751015","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48027614445620,"sku":"11153769018775289488","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-office-of-strategic-narratives-field-ration-unit-sticker-0_043e28f4-1ff7-4ba2-851b-2d8ecbb1955e.png?v=1787866620"},{"product_id":"strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-tee","title":"Thoughts \u0026 Prayers Depleted Strategic Reserve - Funny Satire T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe United States government maintains strategic reserves of the things that matter most — oil, grain, rare metals. This is the official inventory record for the nation's Thoughts \u0026amp; Prayers stockpile: a single unit, lot-numbered, rubber-hose-cartoon-rendered in loving bureaucratic detail, and marked DEPLETED. Someone was supposed to reorder. They did not. The paperwork, however, is immaculate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDeadpan-institutional critique wearing the costume of the institution itself. The horror isn't that it ran out. The horror is that it was ever managed by a department.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ STOCK STATUS: DEPLETED as of the most recent incident\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Lot No. 00-000-TP: do not attempt to reorder through normal procurement channels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Symbolic comfort issued on a per-tragedy basis; quantities were never sufficient\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ No agency has accepted responsibility for the shortage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ A replenishment memo was drafted; it remains in committee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted on a premium, ultra-soft unisex cotton t-shirt. Because even when institutional empathy runs dry, you still need a comfortable, true-to-size shirt to wear to the apocalypse.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48055833526324,"sku":"27095698205416299245","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48055833559092,"sku":"17048361115772153145","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48055833591860,"sku":"10404717671150673296","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48055833624628,"sku":"24546871989024967719","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48055833657396,"sku":"32943310358096096706","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48055833690164,"sku":"73685015133112736858","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48055833722932,"sku":"27155195889795530801","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48055833755700,"sku":"30477847759316114313","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48055833788468,"sku":"26336428241195470348","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48055833821236,"sku":"28496905474116032414","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-tee-0_60836627-e399-4cf7-8943-1fcfae2a508c.png?v=1787989447"},{"product_id":"strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-cap","title":"Thoughts \u0026 Prayers Depleted Hat — Strategic Reserve Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe government maintains strategic reserves of the things that matter most: oil, grain, rare metals. This is the official inventory record for the nation's Thoughts \u0026amp; Prayers stockpile. A single unit, rubber-hose-cartoon-rendered in loving bureaucratic detail, filed correctly, and marked DEPLETED on this printed trucker cap. Someone was supposed to reorder. They did not. The paperwork, however, is immaculate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDeadpan-institutional critique wearing the costume of the institution itself. The horror isn't that it ran out. The horror is that it was ever managed by a department.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ STOCK STATUS: DEPLETED as of the most recent incident\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Lot No. 00-000-TP: do not attempt to reorder through normal procurement channels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Symbolic comfort issued on a per-tragedy basis\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ No agency has accepted responsibility for the shortage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ The correct paperwork has been filed; the situation has not changed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eYupoong 6606 retro trucker cap. 74% polyester, 26% cotton. Mid profile, six-panel structured snapback. Permacurv® visor. Mesh back. DTF (direct-to-film) print, front panel.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":48055833886772,"sku":"19174157826748708086","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":48055833919540,"sku":"53996580113861890183","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-cap-0_08256782-6f4e-416a-af1f-b4f32c60a946.png?v=1787989468"},{"product_id":"the-true-north-face-poster","title":"The True North Face Poster - Funny Kim Jong Un Parody Art","description":"\u003cp\u003eNever stop exploring, mostly because you are strictly confined to a state-approved perimeter. Behold the ultimate wall decor for maintaining a freezing geopolitical climate, featuring the icy, glowing visage of the only man who can shoot a round of 34 on an 18-hole course.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is high-altitude alpine flex for the truly isolated. Perfect for hanging in your metaphorical bunker, plotting unauthorized ballistic tests, or just surviving the brutal realities of international sanctions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to keep your living room completely insulated from the global economy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDefecting from this room immediately voids your social loyalty score\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMandatory viewing for all members of the household\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA dictatorial addition to any dorm, office, or oppressive regime headquarters.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48122758266932,"sku":"28167749640289907542","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48122758299700,"sku":"29981575466187726393","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-true-north-face-poster-0_b12fee13-7fee-435f-a368-ff0963f8ddc5.png?v=1787880875"},{"product_id":"term-limits-are-for-mortals-mug","title":"Term Limits Are For Mortals Funny Political Meme Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey said the 22nd Amendment was absolute. They didn't account for a cybernetically enhanced bald eagle and a completely unhinged, heavily muscled former executive ascending from the flames of political norms. This heavy metal fever dream of a totally unregulated, scorched-earth comeback is the ultimate funny political meme gift for anyone who likes their morning brew with a side of laser-guided patriotism. It is loud, it is highly illegal, and it is coming for the history books.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot recognized by the Supreme Court as a valid form of governance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCyborg eagle runs exclusively on executive overreach and premium unleaded.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not grant immunity from congressional shredding solos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA hilariously intense novelty gag gift for the chronically online political junkie in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48269405814836,"sku":"18963537778535323913","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48269405847604,"sku":"26980295615565008837","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-term-limits-are-for-mortals-mug-0_dcccc3dc-0672-492d-af27-a7653fc96232.png?v=1788287518"},{"product_id":"term-limits-are-for-mortals-t-shirt","title":"Term Limits Are For Mortals — Funny Political Meme Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey said the 22nd Amendment was absolute. They didn't account for a cybernetically enhanced bald eagle and a completely unhinged, heavily muscled former executive ascending from the flames of political norms. When the bureaucracy fails, you don't call a committee—you call in the air cavalry. This heavy metal fever dream of a scorched-earth political comeback is loud, highly illegal, and coming for the history books.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot recognized by the Supreme Court as a valid form of governance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCyborg eagle runs exclusively on executive overreach and premium unleaded.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not grant immunity from congressional shredding solos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn unapologetic novelty tee for when you need to bypass polite debate and rule by raw, laser-guided patriotism.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48269407125556,"sku":"23200007374431038973","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48269407158324,"sku":"43330744235936225829","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":48269407191092,"sku":"28103615308950628327","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":48269407223860,"sku":"18049825183346385758","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48269407256628,"sku":"72403430473448021757","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48269407289396,"sku":"24304160617447904744","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48269407322164,"sku":"26271864605035934233","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":48269407354932,"sku":"18585394106158757141","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":48269407387700,"sku":"98716003939384629839","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48269407420468,"sku":"89177418165289066233","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48269407453236,"sku":"23346758734918492266","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48269407486004,"sku":"24442641110904412488","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":48269407518772,"sku":"31641600857042989236","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":48269407551540,"sku":"10320652882619978919","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48269407584308,"sku":"27896768695859788029","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48269407617076,"sku":"17777712160484443393","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48269407649844,"sku":"18172681422555070631","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":48269407682612,"sku":"31276787172909343032","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48269407715380,"sku":"12630793480091685064","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48269407748148,"sku":"16103470495241566635","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48269407780916,"sku":"16443839088503839750","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48269407813684,"sku":"15815906438851828979","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":48269407846452,"sku":"20144993864165407597","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48269407879220,"sku":"49572766203543645470","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48269407911988,"sku":"10501118848660607431","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-term-limits-are-for-mortals-t-shirt-0_a9c00f3b-a10a-4327-af26-1749781201dc.png?v=1788287572"},{"product_id":"tactical-dowsing-hoodie","title":"Tactical Dowsing Hoodie — Funny Military Satire Geopolitics","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome countries use a forked wooden stick to find water. We use a three-trillion-dollar mechanized air fleet to find hydrocarbons. It is basically just geology with better acoustics and a significantly more aggressive negotiating stance. This grungy collage hoodie celebrates the greatest romance of the modern era: heavy artillery and sweet, unrefined petroleum.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWear this funny military satire gift to your next geopolitical debate, defense contractor shareholder meeting, or while pretending to understand why gas still costs this much. It is the quiet part screamed out loud, hastily photocopied at the local library, and glued directly to a tank tread.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% chance of sudden democratic intervention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for missing national reserves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHighly effective at securing shareholder value\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous regime change\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA bold meme layer for chronically online defense experts and foreign policy posters.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48348435873844,"sku":"12137870719550361127","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48348435906612,"sku":"22231344710800332551","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48348435939380,"sku":"21778823589173819861","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48348435972148,"sku":"82675268672917779645","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48348436004916,"sku":"12540933251050551999","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48348436037684,"sku":"15475719467006111375","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48348436070452,"sku":"15961588265001943972","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48348436103220,"sku":"76101035600845641077","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48348436135988,"sku":"34387520117288483852","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48348436168756,"sku":"22837830118632395661","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48348436201524,"sku":"27552769110094043907","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48348436234292,"sku":"55586533798597283110","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48348436267060,"sku":"99942646042472702521","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48348436299828,"sku":"26986847343837714632","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48348436332596,"sku":"16712415951451080439","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48348436365364,"sku":"42091775080393674136","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48348436398132,"sku":"11602465003366328407","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48348436430900,"sku":"27229649048648132608","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48348436463668,"sku":"17615325035780900781","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48348436496436,"sku":"57652679710685399808","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48348436529204,"sku":"14356171299725247718","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48348436561972,"sku":"19882335460206900574","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48348436594740,"sku":"13930094145446435116","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48348436627508,"sku":"75960551650770548037","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48348436660276,"sku":"93841394363141093612","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-tactical-dowsing-hoodie-0_78f74fea-d824-418b-a786-0bfd894ab976.png?v=1789583503"},{"product_id":"tactical-dowsing-sticker","title":"Tactical Dowsing Sticker — Funny Military Oil Meme Decal","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome countries use a forked wooden stick to find water. We use a three-trillion-dollar mechanized air fleet to find hydrocarbons. It is basically just geology with better acoustics and a significantly more aggressive negotiating stance. This grungy collage decal celebrates the greatest romance of the modern era: heavy artillery and sweet, unrefined petroleum.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlap it on your laptop before your next geopolitical debate, defense contractor shareholder meeting, or while pretending to understand why gas still costs this much. It is the quiet part screamed out loud, hastily photocopied at the local library, and parked directly on a tank tread.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% chance of sudden democratic intervention\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for missing national reserves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHighly effective at securing shareholder value\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous regime change\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA deadpan political meme gift for history buffs, international relations majors, or anyone tracking the military-industrial complex.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48348436725812,"sku":"22942559033540620902","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48348436758580,"sku":"36715039568572277815","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-tactical-dowsing-sticker-0_6ff83ecc-6f89-4f62-9eb1-e73d08e36a96.png?v=1789583526"},{"product_id":"spreading-democracy-one-barrel-at-a-time-mug","title":"Spreading Democracy One Barrel At A Time — Funny Military Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people look at a sovereign nation sitting on three billion barrels of unrefined crude and see a complex geopolitical situation. We just see a country in desperate need of immediate, airborne, high-yield democracy. The Spreading Democracy One Barrel At A Time mug is the ultimate funny military satire gift for anyone who likes their morning brew with a side of unapologetic interventionism.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCelebrate the time-honored tradition of turning foreign sand into domestic profit with a novelty political mug so loud it just secured a defense contract.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% chance of escalating regional tensions before breakfast\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous singing of the national anthem near pipelines\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFully endorsed by a guy named Dick who sits on five corporate boards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for any accidental regime changes or missing crude\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eMakes a great gift for veterans, armchair generals, and defense contractors. Ships fast so you can get back to securing global interests.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48354412134452,"sku":"33509054763337457438","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48354412167220,"sku":"80406049309306742961","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-spreading-democracy-one-barrel-at-a-time-mug-0_1b12fd25-0193-4fae-a0c2-619cba5cb1dc.png?v=1789670085"},{"product_id":"spreading-democracy-one-barrel-at-a-time-canvas","title":"Spreading Democracy One Barrel At A Time Funny Wall Art","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people look at a sovereign nation sitting on three billion barrels of unrefined sweet crude and see a complex geopolitical situation. We see a country in desperate need of immediate, airborne, high-yield democracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDecorate your command center with this funny political wall art, celebrating the time-honored tradition of turning foreign sand into domestic profit. This satirical military room decor is so unapologetically loud it just secured a trillion-dollar defense contract. It is aggressive, entirely lacking in subtlety, and absolutely refuses to apologize for the emissions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% chance of escalating regional tensions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous singing of the national anthem near pipelines\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFully endorsed by a guy named Dick who sits on five corporate boards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for any accidental regime changes or endless proxy wars\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn ideal piece of satirical room decor to make a loud statement in any home office, living room, or undisclosed bunker.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"0.75'' \/ 11″ x 14″ (Vertical)","offer_id":48354412527668,"sku":"15213806390347641951","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"0.75'' \/ 12″ x 16″ (Vertical)","offer_id":48354412560436,"sku":"31122071059155048020","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"0.75'' \/ 16″ x 20″ (Vertical)","offer_id":48354412593204,"sku":"97238956381074431376","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-spreading-democracy-one-barrel-at-a-time-canvas-0_22f67bdb-8dd6-46ec-adcf-bc0f48b83f15.png?v=1789670159"},{"product_id":"spreading-democracy-one-barrel-at-a-time-sticker","title":"Spreading Democracy One Barrel At A Time Funny Oil Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome people look at a sovereign nation sitting on three billion barrels of unrefined sweet crude and see a complex geopolitical situation. We see a country in desperate need of immediate, airborne, high-yield democracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCelebrate the time-honored tradition of turning foreign sand into domestic profit with a funny oil sticker so unapologetically loud it just secured a trillion-dollar defense contract. It is aggressive, entirely lacking in subtlety, and absolutely refuses to apologize for the emissions. A perfect dark comedy gift for your favorite defense contractor, veteran, or geopolitics nerd.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% chance of escalating regional tensions\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous singing of the national anthem near pipelines\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFully endorsed by a guy named Dick who sits on five corporate boards\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for any accidental regime changes\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA hilariously dark political humor accessory designed to warn your coworkers about your aggressive foreign policy stances.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48354419376180,"sku":"49406416112513037964","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48354419408948,"sku":"30111201939531801565","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-spreading-democracy-one-barrel-at-a-time-sticker-0_b32c326f-00ca-402b-b702-a4cd4a9c0c2e.png?v=1789670249"}],"url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/collections\/department-of-spin.oembed","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}