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Keep the kids busy while generating spectral foot-traffic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAges 36 Months to Eternal Damnation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not use to contact un-optimized historical figures\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChoking hazard: Do not ingest ectoplasm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWipe clean with bleach and sage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisclaimer: Deceased relatives may critique your parenting style\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eKiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48098514894900,"sku":"11338595955029313100","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48098514927668,"sku":"27908704485145550062","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-my-first-necromancy-sticker-0_63ff0e00-d601-4c16-b893-342114c9e9db.png?v=1791743634"},{"product_id":"big-box-hex-mug","title":"Cheerful Curses Mug — Funny Toys R Us Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor those who drag the twelve-foot skeleton onto the lawn in mid-August and refuse to apologize. There is a very specific joy in delivering malevolent, bloodline-ending hexes with your morning coffee using the happiest, bounciest typography on earth. This spooky novelty mug confuses the target just long enough for the dark magic to take hold.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA vintage-marquee celebration of seasonal darkness, disguised in primary colors. Perfect for manifesting doom with a bright, cheerful sense of wonder, because wishing eternal ruin upon your enemies doesn't mean you can't be festive about your witchy gifts.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe cannot guarantee the efficacy of spells cast under fluorescent office lighting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide effects of improper hexing may include mild hauntings and bad luck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not read aloud in front of a mirror unless you want permanent demonic houseguests\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFrightening the Homeowners Association is entirely the point\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA chaotic vessel for your daily caffeine ritual, arriving securely packaged and ready for immediate deployment at your next coven meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48343918379060,"sku":"10377889007409505500","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48343918411828,"sku":"24227322468128459658","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-big-box-hex-mug-0_d5942603-ff4e-47a7-8fbc-c6f7eda9dda3.png?v=1789497394"},{"product_id":"big-box-hex-sticker","title":"Cheerful Curses Sticker — Funny Toys R Us Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor those who drag the twelve-foot skeleton onto the lawn in mid-August and refuse to apologize. There is a very specific joy in delivering malevolent, bloodline-ending hexes using the happiest, bounciest typography on earth. It confuses the target just long enough for the dark magic to take hold. This funny witchy sticker is a cracked, vintage-marquee celebration of seasonal darkness disguised in primary colors. Perfect for manifesting doom with a bright, cheerful sense of wonder, because wishing eternal ruin upon your enemies doesn't mean you can't be festive about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe cannot guarantee the efficacy of spells cast under fluorescent lighting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide effects of improper hexing may include mild hauntings and bad luck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not read aloud in front of a mirror unless you want permanent demonic houseguests\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFrightening the Homeowners Association is entirely the point\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA delightfully unhinged addition to your laptop, notebook, or emotional support water bottle.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48343918477364,"sku":"18489728468671602115","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48343918510132,"sku":"23229037796159718670","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-big-box-hex-sticker-0_af8b0b51-247f-4b0b-a391-9e66da7d90c2.png?v=1791569048"},{"product_id":"big-box-hex-hoodie","title":"Cheerful Curses Hoodie — Funny Toys R Us Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor those who drag the twelve-foot skeleton onto the lawn in mid-August and refuse to apologize. This funny occult hoodie offers a very specific joy: delivering malevolent, bloodline-ending hexes using the happiest, bounciest typography on earth. It confuses the target just long enough for the dark magic to take hold.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA cracked, vintage-marquee celebration of seasonal darkness disguised in primary colors. This sarcastic witchy sweatshirt is perfect for manifesting doom with a bright, cheerful sense of wonder, because wishing eternal ruin upon your enemies doesn't mean you can't be festive about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe cannot guarantee the efficacy of spells cast under fluorescent lighting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide effects of improper hexing may include mild hauntings and bad luck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not read aloud in front of a mirror unless you want permanent demonic houseguests\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFrightening the Homeowners Association is entirely the point\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48343918608436,"sku":"60268050056629413708","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48343918772276,"sku":"83230304012614592779","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48343918936116,"sku":"31579218987609017472","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343919099956,"sku":"79983087331687112766","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343919263796,"sku":"13690246357508124698","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343918575668,"sku":"42745181201434935232","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343918641204,"sku":"28333403988496376760","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48343918673972,"sku":"14022952278636151059","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48343918706740,"sku":"54615502585063481185","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343918739508,"sku":"12092761208585534145","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343918805044,"sku":"26515595423305532011","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48343918837812,"sku":"26877619988944880498","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48343918870580,"sku":"11654816790857389206","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343918903348,"sku":"74406170785126706847","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343918968884,"sku":"17311435044900119585","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48343919001652,"sku":"25391873006140821236","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48343919034420,"sku":"22318332853668329529","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343919067188,"sku":"26982985099448013196","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343919132724,"sku":"20505105310373661606","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48343919165492,"sku":"92119372055175408099","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343919198260,"sku":"73635863980380148683","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343919231028,"sku":"12212492817160449075","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343919296564,"sku":"20348455784493013561","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48343919329332,"sku":"61584195578202553437","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343919362100,"sku":"24772120569469485599","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-big-box-hex-hoodie-0_cb8c0074-15a3-4443-88ec-92e93947877b.png?v=1791569020"},{"product_id":"big-box-hex-t-shirt","title":"Cheerful Curses T-Shirt — Funny Toys R Us Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor those who drag the twelve-foot skeleton onto the lawn in mid-August and refuse to apologize. There is a very specific joy in wearing a funny occult t-shirt that delivers malevolent, bloodline-ending hexes using the happiest, bounciest typography on earth. It confuses the target just long enough for the dark magic to take hold.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA cracked, vintage-marquee celebration of seasonal darkness, disguised in primary colors. Perfect for manifesting doom with a bright, cheerful sense of wonder, because wishing eternal ruin upon your enemies doesn't mean your pastel goth aesthetic has to suffer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe cannot guarantee the efficacy of spells cast under fluorescent lighting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide effects of improper hexing may include mild hauntings and bad luck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not read aloud in front of a mirror unless you want permanent demonic houseguests\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFrightening the Homeowners Association is entirely the point\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA delightfully dark gift for your favorite amateur witch or chronic early-decorator.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48343919460404,"sku":"15426963563809587775","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48343919493172,"sku":"16069860322631930044","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Red","offer_id":48343919525940,"sku":"26072728958463656611","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ True Royal","offer_id":48343919558708,"sku":"28035895900938138616","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48343919591476,"sku":"20936840117452098708","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48343919624244,"sku":"90443631104575105038","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48343919657012,"sku":"25265154766835131590","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Red","offer_id":48343919689780,"sku":"25315619884248194870","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ True Royal","offer_id":48343919722548,"sku":"16864784503501799408","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48343919755316,"sku":"17621292896537289883","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48343919788084,"sku":"32548877601462566379","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48343919820852,"sku":"21591137296059391579","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Red","offer_id":48343919853620,"sku":"29314452248753410846","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ True Royal","offer_id":48343919886388,"sku":"15636643461507735513","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48343919919156,"sku":"29827167112574902405","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343919951924,"sku":"33042052092607750185","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343919984692,"sku":"92436438147958410551","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Red","offer_id":48343920017460,"sku":"33390520779008598282","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48343920050228,"sku":"18718428254157655102","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48343920082996,"sku":"31234816567477657077","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343920115764,"sku":"11239959575969392386","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343920148532,"sku":"77592517371953912856","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Red","offer_id":48343920181300,"sku":"13813573810679432321","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ True Royal","offer_id":48343920214068,"sku":"16209559632251989281","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48343920246836,"sku":"14975772595758824243","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-big-box-hex-t-shirt-0_730552f0-8b68-4df0-a248-a750f04053c1.png?v=1791568766"},{"product_id":"big-box-hex-socks","title":"Cheerful Curses Socks — Funny Toys R Us Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor those who drag the twelve-foot skeleton onto the lawn in mid-August and refuse to apologize. There is a very specific joy in delivering malevolent, bloodline-ending hexes using the happiest, bounciest typography on earth. It confuses the target just long enough for the dark magic to take hold.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA cracked, vintage-marquee celebration of seasonal darkness, disguised in primary colors. Perfect for manifesting doom with a bright, cheerful sense of wonder, because wishing eternal ruin upon your enemies doesn't mean you can't be a festive little weirdo.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe cannot guarantee the efficacy of spells cast under fluorescent lighting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide effects of improper hexing may include mild hauntings and bad luck\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not read aloud in front of a mirror unless you want permanent demonic houseguests\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFrightening the Homeowners Association is entirely the point\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eThese spooky novelty socks make a delightfully unhinged witchy gift for the occult enthusiast or chronic hex-bringer in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\/4 Crew","offer_id":48343920345140,"sku":"21611171790081261147","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ankle","offer_id":48343920377908,"sku":"10216829712053912982","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crew","offer_id":48343920410676,"sku":"11756401595269755892","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-big-box-hex-socks-0_5faf29c3-ac2a-4451-9f84-b57a77635712.png?v=1792434678"},{"product_id":"cult-athletics-mug","title":"CULT Athletics Mug — Funny Puma Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eBeing in a shadowy demonic cabal isn't just a weekend hobby—it's a high-performance lifestyle choice that demands peak caffeination. If you are going to pledge your eternal soul to the dark lord in the woods, you might as well drink your morning brew from an officially sponsored vessel.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is varsity-level athletic branding for the truly unhinged. Whether you are recovering from a neighborhood watch sprint or doing high-intensity interval chanting, finally there is hydration gear for your specific extracurriculars.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not guarantee a sub-six-minute mile or eternal salvation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease log all ritual sacrifices and caffeine intake in your synced fitness tracker.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDesigned for maximum agility during sudden localized exorcisms.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48343922180148,"sku":"16139927774634788239","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48343922212916,"sku":"93583637330397097669","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-cult-athletics-mug-0_a9bb76ed-f8c8-4be9-99e3-75a2b8e68614.png?v=1789497610"},{"product_id":"cult-athletics-sticker","title":"CULT Athletics Sticker — Funny Puma Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eBeing in a shadowy demonic cabal isn't just a weekend hobby—it's a high-performance lifestyle choice that demands peak aerodynamic efficiency. 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