{"title":"The Shirt Offensive","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"2473\" data-end=\"2549\"\u003eThis is not “just a T-shirt.” This is your battle flag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2551\" data-end=\"2711\"\u003eThe Shirt Offensive is where speech meets fabric — every design is an argument waiting to happen.\u003cbr data-start=\"2648\" data-end=\"2651\"\u003ePerfect for barbecues, airports, or court-ordered therapy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2713\" data-end=\"2765\"\u003eIf silence is golden, these shirts are war crimes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2767\" data-end=\"2782\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2767\" data-end=\"2780\"\u003eFeatures:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2783\" data-end=\"2880\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2783\" data-end=\"2809\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2785\" data-end=\"2809\"\u003e100% cotton, 0% filter\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2810\" data-end=\"2841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2812\" data-end=\"2841\"\u003ePre-shrunk, unlike your ego\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2842\" data-end=\"2880\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2844\" data-end=\"2880\"\u003eScreen-printed with chaotic intent\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"civil-war-veteran-tee","title":"Civil War Veteran T-Shirt — Proudly Served (1861-1865)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eYou served in the Civil War. You were definitely there. This shirt proves it.\u003c\/strong\u003e All-over printed with crossed muskets, “Civil War Veteran” on front, and “Proudly Served” on back — because if you’re going to lie about your military record, you might as well commit to it with your entire torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Civil War Veteran Tee is a full-body declaration of service you never rendered in a war that ended 160+ years ago. It’s loud, it’s all-over print, and it will generate more confused stares per square inch than any other garment in your closet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eFeatures\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCrossed muskets front graphic\u003c\/strong\u003e — the universal symbol for “I definitely fought in this”\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e“CIVIL WAR VETERAN” front text\u003c\/strong\u003e — in case anyone was wondering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e“PROUDLY SERVED” back text\u003c\/strong\u003e — for when you walk away from conversations you can’t win\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSizes XS–XXXXL\u003c\/strong\u003e — fake valor comes in every size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\n\n\n\u003cli\u003eSizes: XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL, XXXXL\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFulfillment: Print-on-demand via Printify\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat You’re Getting\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA t-shirt that turns your entire body into a monument to a war you didn’t fight in. 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