{"title":"Acetaminophen Awareness Collection","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"363\" data-end=\"500\"\u003eThis collection is part of an \u003cstrong data-start=\"393\" data-end=\"430\"\u003eongoing public education campaign\u003c\/strong\u003e to increase awareness of \u003cstrong data-start=\"456\" data-end=\"498\"\u003eTilenal-linked developmental outcomes.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"502\" data-end=\"843\"\u003eWhether exposure occurred in utero or postnatally, these hats and shirts are engineered to make social interaction safer and simpler for affected individuals. By clearly identifying oneself as a member of the \u003cstrong data-start=\"711\" data-end=\"733\"\u003eTilenal Generation\u003c\/strong\u003e, wearers can reduce the likelihood of unwanted small talk, repeated instructions, or prolonged eye contact.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"845\" data-end=\"918\"\u003eThis is not a joke. \u003cstrong data-start=\"865\" data-end=\"918\"\u003eThis is symptom management — in embroidered form.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"weird-castle-gift-card","title":"Weird Castle Gift Card","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou don't know what they want. They don't know what they want. But somewhere deep in their cursed little heart, they want a hat that makes people uncomfortable at the farmers market. Enter: the Weird Castle Gift Card — the gift you give when you love someone enough to let them choose their own damage.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt's digital. It's instant. It's redeemable for cursed hats, stickers with unresolved feelings, socks that start conversations no one asked for, and apparel that functions as a personality test.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFine Print (we made it readable, you're welcome):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDelivered instantly to their inbox — no waiting, no guessing, no shipping anxiety\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable in multiple denominations (from \"I like you\" to \"I owe you one, seriously\")\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNever expires — unlike your enthusiasm for small talk\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero extra fees, zero processing charges, zero regrets (results may vary)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRedeemable at WeirdCastle.com for hats, tees, hoodies, stickers, mugs, socks, and other objects of questionable necessity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes easy redemption instructions, because we're unhinged, not cruel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA Weird Castle Gift Card is a digital gift card delivered by email, redeemable for the full catalog of weird, funny, and novelty goods at WeirdCastle.com. No physical card is mailed. No expiration date. No nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"$10.00","offer_id":47000724865076,"sku":null,"price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$25.00","offer_id":47000724897844,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$50.00","offer_id":47000724930612,"sku":null,"price":50.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"$100.00","offer_id":47000724963380,"sku":null,"price":100.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/GiftCardhero-1.png?v=1753953137"},{"product_id":"medical-disclosure-cap-please-be-patient-my-mom-took-tylenol","title":"Please Be Patient My Mom Took Tylenawl — Funny Autism Awareness Dad Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis isn't a fashion statement. It's a \u003cstrong\u003ewearable medical disclaimer\u003c\/strong\u003e for everyone who came out of the womb slightly misconfigured and has been managing expectations ever since.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWhen Trump announced Tylenawl could cause autism, a generation finally had a name for what they'd always low-key suspected about themselves: \u003cstrong\u003ewe are Tylenawl Babies.\u003c\/strong\u003e Our neurological development did not meet FDA projections. Our social processing is creative. Our response times are variable. This hat communicates all of that before you even open your mouth — which, frankly, is a relief for everyone.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThink of it as a \u003cstrong\u003emedical alert bracelet for your forehead.\u003c\/strong\u003e A pre-emptive apology. A public service announcement with a brim.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not actually slow down the conversation — just sets realistic expectations for it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot a diagnosis. More of a vibe confirmation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal for grocery stores, family dinners, first dates, and any situation requiring you to interact with strangers at full speed\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePairs well with a blank stare and a long processing delay\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill be understood immediately by at least 40% of people in any given room\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eStructured dad hat, adjustable strap, one size fits most Tylenawl Babies. Ships in a reasonable timeframe, delays may occur, please be patient.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Royal Blue \/ S\/M","offer_id":47142387384372,"sku":"62352522687453403805","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal Blue \/ L\/XL","offer_id":47142387449908,"sku":"12484442117501157766","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ S\/M","offer_id":47193049399348,"sku":"28299123710479602087","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Red \/ L\/XL","offer_id":47193049497652,"sku":"16485265461534073086","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S\/M","offer_id":47193049366580,"sku":"16909431482599283145","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L\/XL","offer_id":47193049464884,"sku":"41637043781505914283","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Camouflage \/ S\/M","offer_id":47193049432116,"sku":"24330399549975725954","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Camouflage \/ L\/XL","offer_id":47193049530420,"sku":"24615530491519617573","price":28.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/7099906063387418969_2048.jpg?v=1760701167"},{"product_id":"please-be-patient-i-took-tylenol","title":"Please Be Patient I Took Tilenal — Funny Embroidered Dad Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is not a fashion statement. 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This is a \u003cstrong\u003edisclosure garment.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSomewhere along the way, your mom took Tylenol. Then came you. Now the people at daycare, the grocery store, and the pediatrician's waiting room deserve to know what they're dealing with — \u003cem\u003ebefore\u003c\/em\u003e things escalate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe \u003cstrong\u003ePlease Be Patient, My Mom Took Tylenol Onesie\u003c\/strong\u003e does the explaining so you don't have to. It's a wearable warning label. A tiny infant press release. A courtesy to everyone in a five-foot radius.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFine Print (read before approaching the baby):\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThis baby requires patience. 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Machine washable — because of course something had to be easy.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"NB (0-3M) \/ Royal","offer_id":47142401212468,"sku":"25538972961969362050","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"6M \/ Royal","offer_id":47142401245236,"sku":"28769348268950940117","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12M \/ Royal","offer_id":47142401278004,"sku":"65011593138835647526","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"18M \/ Royal","offer_id":47142401310772,"sku":"22270650628751855592","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"24M \/ Royal","offer_id":47142401343540,"sku":"14699951335182223529","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/6850304365432419514_2048.jpg?v=1760700947"},{"product_id":"please-be-patient-my-mom-took-tylenol-tee","title":"Please Be Patient, My Mom Took Tylenawl — Funny Autism Conspiracy Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is not a fashion choice. This is a \u003cstrong\u003epublic health notice\u003c\/strong\u003e, screen-printed in unignorable text for the safety of everyone within reading distance. Wear it to the DMV. Wear it to the interview. Wear it to Thanksgiving. Let it do the talking.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAfter Trump announced that Tylenol causes autism, civilization split into two groups: the people who looked it up, and the people who \u003cem\u003eare\u003c\/em\u003e it. You didn't choose the Tylenawl Era — the Tylenawl Era chose you, one extra-strength caplet at a time. This shirt is your birth certificate, your medical disclosure, and your entire personality explained in nine words.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print nobody asked for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClinically proven to reduce awkward social interactions by making them someone else's problem\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAccepted at most family reunions as a valid explanation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFDA-unapproved but spiritually endorsed by every Millennial with a complicated origin story\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePatience is not a virtue here — it's a documented side effect\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYou're not being difficult. You're being \u003cem\u003eaccurately labeled\u003c\/em\u003e.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSoft unisex tee, standard fit, the kind of shirt that starts conversations you were already too tired to have. Printed bold so there's zero ambiguity from across the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWear it. You've already been dosed.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Royal \/ S","offer_id":47142408421428,"sku":"12429156166763804294","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ M","offer_id":47142408454196,"sku":"20983988257397045018","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ L","offer_id":47142408486964,"sku":"19799511939211883641","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ XL","offer_id":47142408519732,"sku":"73522742641444004281","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":47142408552500,"sku":"20102331764160693817","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":47142408585268,"sku":"11396005566063877181","price":24.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Royal \/ 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text-start break-words whitespace-normal [.text-message+\u0026amp;]:mt-1\" dir=\"auto\" data-message-author-role=\"assistant\" data-message-id=\"6e8503e6-db8d-477c-9537-7c55ce5fad64\" data-message-model-slug=\"gpt-5\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"flex w-full flex-col gap-1 empty:hidden first:pt-[1px]\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"markdown prose dark:prose-invert w-full break-words light markdown-new-styling\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"200\" data-end=\"227\"\u003eThis isn’t a fashion accessory. It’s a medical admission, stitched for public safety.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"322\" data-end=\"478\"\u003eYou took acetaminophen. Maybe once. Maybe too often. Either way, you’re living proof that modern medicine and divine intervention can coexist in one body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"480\" data-end=\"621\"\u003eThis hat eliminates confusion in every setting—DMV lines, job interviews, family gatherings. It announces what you can’t always articulate:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"623\" data-end=\"765\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"623\" data-end=\"650\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"625\" data-end=\"650\"\u003eYou took acetaminophen.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"651\" data-end=\"719\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"653\" data-end=\"719\"\u003eCognitive side effects may include honesty and unpredictability.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"720\" data-end=\"765\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"722\" data-end=\"765\"\u003ePatience is not optional—it’s prescribed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"767\" data-end=\"907\"\u003eThink of it as a \u003cstrong data-start=\"784\" data-end=\"835\"\u003epharmaceutical disclosure device for your head.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"835\" data-end=\"838\"\u003eNo co-pay. No refill required. 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