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Maximize your corpse's retail footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes crystal viewing window for optimal structural flexing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHigh-density gold leaf prevents unauthorized miracle leakage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBring your own martyr (BYOM)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVoid if bones begin to weep scented oils\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted on premium, museum-grade matte paper that looks great framed or tacked directly to your cathedral wall. 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Because it is not paranoia if we literally handed out our home address to the void on a gold-plated mixtape.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% chance of impending extraterrestrial foreclosure\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChuck Berry will not save you from the orbital lasers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe Golden Record translates roughly to 'come and get it'\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect gift for astronomy nerds and cosmic dread enthusiasts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted on durable, museum-quality matte paper that will easily outlast human civilization. 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