{"title":"The Weird Castle Gift Shop","description":"\u003cp\u003eGifts you can buy without knowing someone's size. Stickers, mugs, posters, doormats, garden flags and puzzles — nothing on this page needs a chest, waist or head measurement.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eT-shirts, hoodies and hats are stocked separately, each with a size chart on its own product page.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"one-square","title":"One Square — 1-of-1 Existential Art Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThousands of squares, painted by everybody. One of them came from nobody. You are the sort of person who checks. This is that square, now available as an extremely cursed, one-of-a-kind vinyl sticker.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eOne of one:\u003c\/b\u003e Exactly one was made. When it is gone we do not make another — that is a promise we are choosing to keep, not a limit of our printer.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eExistential dread:\u003c\/b\u003e Included for free.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eAdhesive backing:\u003c\/b\u003e Sticks aggressively to laptops, water bottles, and your fragile sense of uniqueness.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePremium durable vinyl sticker. Ships fast, but once it is gone, it is literally gone forever.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48070389432372,"sku":"10516104389632781438","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48070389465140,"sku":"13813858891385718606","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-one-square-0_9352831f-4314-471d-a47f-8997f47b3642.png?v=1787023413"},{"product_id":"my-first-necromancy-mug","title":"My First Necromancy Mug — Funny Toddler Toy Ouija Board","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey said early childhood development requires sensory play, object permanence, and piercing the veil of the afterlife. We took the indestructible, primary-colored plastic vibe of 1980s daycare centers and slapped it on a chunky ceramic gateway to the underworld. Complete with a graphic of an oversized, choke-safe planchette, this funny occult coffee mug proves that necromancy is really just mildly inconveniencing a deceased person. Keep the kids busy generating spectral foot-traffic, or just use it to resurrect your own tired soul with a strong dark roast.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAges 36 Months to Eternal Damnation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e11oz ceramic mug for coffee, tea, or morning summoning rituals\u003c\/li\u003e\n\n\u003cli\u003eDisclaimer: Deceased relatives may critique your parenting style from beyond the grave\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eClassic C-handle white ceramic mug featuring vivid, durable printing. Ships securely packaged for a safe journey across the mortal plane.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCeramic mug. White durable ceramic. 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) sizes. C-handle. Glossy finish. Dye-sublimation print. Microwave and dishwasher safe.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48098514698292,"sku":"23901125119309792812","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48098514731060,"sku":"15493355696496638345","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-my-first-necromancy-mug-0_dfc6c53e-6163-40c0-bdd3-315d5cfaf712.png?v=1787991481"},{"product_id":"my-first-necromancy-sticker","title":"My First Necromancy Sticker — Funny Toddler Toy Ouija Board","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey said early childhood development requires sensory play, object permanence, and piercing the veil of the afterlife. We took the indestructible, hyper-safe, primary-colored plastic of 1980s daycare centers and immortalized it in sticker form as a chunky gateway to the underworld. Why let them wait until their twenties to confront the howling void when they can drag souls back from the abyss before they are potty trained?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlap this bad boy on your laptop or water bottle to let everyone know you support bothering the dead. Stripped of gothic horror, necromancy is really just mildly inconveniencing a deceased person. Keep the kids busy while generating spectral foot-traffic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAges 36 Months to Eternal Damnation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not use to contact un-optimized historical figures\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChoking hazard: Do not ingest ectoplasm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWipe clean with bleach and sage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisclaimer: Deceased relatives may critique your parenting style\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eKiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48098514894900,"sku":"11338595955029313100","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48098514927668,"sku":"27908704485145550062","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-my-first-necromancy-sticker-0_63ff0e00-d601-4c16-b893-342114c9e9db.png?v=1791743634"},{"product_id":"owner-upload-2026-08-05-mug-1","title":"Can I She\/Them — Funny Pronoun Meme Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor when you're feeling a little bit flirty but strictly respectful of the gender spectrum. Slide into the kitchen like you slide into the DMs—with a polite, pronoun-inclusive request to see the goods. It's the perfect morning vessel for anyone whose primary love language is internet brain rot.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFor the respectfully down-bad\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHR said this was fine to bring to the Zoom meeting (they lied)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal for sipping while overanalyzing a text message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eHolds exactly enough caffeine to fuel a three-hour spiral on the timeline. Ships securely so your jokes arrive intact.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48102477824052,"sku":"55411864908843184117","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48102477856820,"sku":"27822998749440155110","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-owner-upload-2026-08-05-mug-1-0_75b84d47-b0a7-4671-b972-1df4bdc26238.png?v=1787991653"},{"product_id":"owner-upload-2026-08-05-sticker-1","title":"Can I She\/Them Sticker — Funny Queer Meme Joke","description":"\u003cp\u003ePolite society dictates you shouldn't just ask to see them out of nowhere. But what if you use inclusive pronouns? Suddenly, it's allyship. The Can I She\/Them sticker is the perfect chronically online icebreaker for people who respect gender identity and also want to be incredibly inappropriate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOfficially counts as advanced gender studies coursework\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay result in being permanently left on read\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA devastatingly polite approach to digital flirting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA classic novelty sticker perfectly sized for laptops, daily journals, and emotionally supportive water bottles.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48102478053428,"sku":"14757889139090229398","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48102478086196,"sku":"66418334802269420749","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-owner-upload-2026-08-05-sticker-1-0_f48525d9-ec60-41c1-9cfd-d6a3be9f7f0f.png?v=1791743684"},{"product_id":"owner-upload-2026-08-05-poster-1","title":"Can I She\/Them — Funny Pronoun Meme Poster","description":"\u003cp\u003eAh, the age-old question, finally immortalized for your viewing pleasure. Some people ask for your pronouns out of respect; others ask because they are setting up a highly specific, chronically online pickup line. This piece of high-brow wall art politely inquires on your behalf, saving you the trouble of speaking out loud to your local alt barista.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for making uninterrupted eye contact with guests while they try to decipher it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHR will definitely ask you to take this down from your Zoom background\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to deeply confuse anyone born before 1995\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA completely reasonable icebreaker for your next chaotic house party\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn excellent housewarming gift for the them in your life with bare walls and a deep appreciation for internet brain rot.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48102478151732,"sku":"15353848288980235680","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48102478184500,"sku":"26168006557878124153","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-owner-upload-2026-08-05-poster-1-0_cc5a8311-33bb-487f-81f3-bdcf260f2b2a.png?v=1794335469"},{"product_id":"owner-upload-2026-08-05-mug-2","title":"The 25-Year Glitch Mug — Funny Leonardo DiCaprio Turning 25 Meme","description":"\u003cp\u003eCongratulations on surviving a quarter of a century. Welcome to the 25-Year Glitch, that magical developmental milestone where your knees start making acoustic noises, you suddenly have to care about dietary roughage, and your biggest financial asset is a succulent. Drink your lukewarm bean water out of this funny 25th birthday mug while you stare at a spreadsheet and gently dissociate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal for nursing a caffeine addiction and an impending sense of doom\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHolds enough liquid survival to get you through another morning meeting\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe perfect quarter-life crisis gift for the newly 25-year-old who still feels 19\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA trusty desk companion for your daily existential dread. Ships securely.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48102479855668,"sku":"31446519557287604766","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48102479888436,"sku":"14715270196958298111","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-owner-upload-2026-08-05-mug-2-0_2f8b145c-de75-4bb8-af36-e90d84b2a4b2.png?v=1791594344"},{"product_id":"owner-upload-2026-08-05-sticker-2","title":"The 25-Year Glitch Sticker — Funny Leonardo DiCaprio Turning 25 Meme","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou survived Y2K just to experience the 25-year glitch: a chronic biological hardware failure where your knees crack, your dopamine depletes, and you suddenly care deeply about interest rates. This decal is designed for anyone currently buffering their way through early adulthood.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAdheres firmly to laptops, water bottles, and your lingering existential dread\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill not fix your posture, your savings account, or your sleep schedule\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for covering up the corporate logo on your work computer while you apply for other jobs\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA highly relatable 25th birthday gift for the newly a-quarter-of-a-century-old friend who is rapidly losing their grip on youth culture.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48102479953972,"sku":"25387348336983651753","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48102479986740,"sku":"15829021451139429929","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-owner-upload-2026-08-05-sticker-2-0_4c42719b-f1eb-4ec1-b8e0-c57ba103e9d6.png?v=1791743735"},{"product_id":"owner-upload-2026-08-05-poster-2","title":"The 25-Year Glitch Poster — Funny Leonardo DiCaprio Turning 25 Meme","description":"\u003cp\u003eCongratulations on rendering for a quarter of a century. The 25-Year Glitch poster is the perfect 25th birthday gift for anyone whose mid-twenties feel less like a milestone and more like a catastrophic server error.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: staring too long may induce existential dread about your lower back.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not come with a downloadable patch to fix your sleep schedule.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFrame not included (because adults are supposed to buy their own frames, allegedly).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn excellent piece of indoor wall decor to distract guests from the fact that you still don't know how to do your taxes.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48102480183348,"sku":"21357569285883360264","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48102480216116,"sku":"18446486130838631580","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-owner-upload-2026-08-05-poster-2-0_2c72f8cf-9c98-4868-8a5f-751aa31a9ffe.png?v=1791594548"},{"product_id":"the-prince-albert-drive-thru-mug","title":"The Prince Albert Drive-Thru Mug — Funny White Castle Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou can sanitize the early 2000s for your corporate mood boards all you want, but we remember what the culture actually was: cheap chrome, untreated infections, and making irreversible anatomical decisions in the parking lot of a 24-hour slider franchise. This is a tribute to the era when the human body was just another drive-thru surface to puncture.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a glistening, airbrushed Y2K chrome homage to America's most digestible miniature burger, hijacked to advertise a genital piercing that takes six months to heal. Because nothing says \"the customer is always right\" quite like industrial body modification served in a sack of steamed onions. Nostalgia is a disease; we’re just treating the symptoms with sterile saline.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for tissue rejection, migration, or deep-fryer grease burns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCombo meal includes one captive bead ring and a medium Diet Coke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not submerge in public pools or fast-food ball pits for 6 to 8 weeks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA perfectly sized morning vessel that ships fast directly to your local mall parking lot.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48103936622644,"sku":"15002729466790259981","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48103936655412,"sku":"33674607080222812808","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-prince-albert-drive-thru-mug-0_23abb325-6b79-4068-a683-fa8f72feeca9.png?v=1787991898"},{"product_id":"the-prince-albert-drive-thru-sticker","title":"The Prince Albert Drive-Thru Sticker — Funny White Castle Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou can sanitize the early 2000s for your corporate mood boards all you want, but we remember what the culture actually was: cheap chrome, untreated infections, and making irreversible anatomical decisions in the parking lot of a 24-hour slider franchise. This funny Y2K sticker is a tribute to the era when the human body was just another drive-thru surface to puncture with mall-kiosk metallurgy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a glistening, airbrushed chrome homage to America's most digestible miniature burger, hijacked to advertise a genital piercing that takes six months to heal. Because nothing says \"the customer is always right\" quite like industrial-grade body modification served in a sack of steamed onions. Nostalgia is a disease; we're just treating the symptoms with sterile saline.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for tissue rejection, migration, or deep-fryer grease burns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCombo meal includes one captive bead ring and a medium Diet Coke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not submerge in public pools or fast-food ball pits for 6 to 8 weeks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA perfectly cursed novelty decal for your laptop, bumper, or whatever flat surface needs ruining.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48103936720948,"sku":"33596276618765161317","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48103936753716,"sku":"16090795828478720278","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-prince-albert-drive-thru-sticker-0_64739739-4e26-4266-ac51-ed22c0883f52.png?v=1791743860"},{"product_id":"the-prince-albert-drive-thru-poster","title":"The Prince Albert Drive-Thru Poster — Funny White Castle Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou can sanitize the early 2000s for your corporate mood boards all you want, but we remember what the culture actually was: cheap chrome, untreated infections, and making irreversible anatomical decisions in the parking lot of a 24-hour slider franchise. This funny Y2K poster is a tribute to the era when the human body was just another drive-thru surface to puncture.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a glistening, airbrushed chrome homage to America's most digestible miniature burger, hijacked to advertise a genital piercing that takes six months to heal. Because nothing says the customer is always right quite like body modification served in a sack of steamed onions. Nostalgia is a disease; we are just treating the symptoms with this weird art print for your wall.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for tissue rejection, migration, or deep-fryer grease burns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCombo meal includes one captive bead ring and a medium Diet Coke\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not submerge in public pools or fast-food ball pits for 6 to 8 weeks\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIdeal decor for your bathroom, bedroom, or sterile mall kiosk\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA completely unhinged piece of wall art for fans of retro fast food, obscure internet humor, and poor teenage decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48103937081396,"sku":"21322991298262105816","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48103937114164,"sku":"71968013685891348060","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-prince-albert-drive-thru-poster-0_f66e2bca-0538-4b7c-bf69-6a5822e23f9d.png?v=1790858745"},{"product_id":"unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-mug","title":"Unintelligible For My Own Safety — Funny Frog Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe optimization engines are listening, and they are desperate to file you into a highly monetizable spreadsheet cell. The only viable defense against a machine built to parse human behavior is to become aggressively, chemically impossible to understand. Ribbit your way out of the demographic bracket and embrace the safety of total incoherence with this funny frog mug.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in blindingly toxic 80s airbrush, this psychedelic amphibian is a monument to linguistic evasion. If your thoughts don't make sense, they can't be categorized, processed, or subpoenaed. Be the brightly colored swamp juice in the server room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to scramble local sentiment-analysis algorithms.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColors so loud they cause a syntax error in smart home devices.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: Chronic nonsense may result in permanent exclusion from the targeted advertising pool.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA standard-capacity vessel for your morning caffeine or unidentifiable green sludge. Ships ready to confuse your coworkers.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48103938785332,"sku":"45532334501844748710","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48103938818100,"sku":"17856259587987323530","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-mug-0_e070a955-3cc1-4c6e-81e0-a8bb9db957fd.png?v=1791504843"},{"product_id":"unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-sticker","title":"Unintelligible For My Own Safety — Funny Surreal Frog Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe optimization engines are listening, and they are desperate to file you into a highly monetizable spreadsheet cell. The only viable defense against a machine built to parse human behavior is to become aggressively, chemically impossible to understand. Ribbit your way out of the demographic bracket with this funny tech parody sticker and embrace the safety of total incoherence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in blindingly toxic 80s airbrush, this psychedelic amphibian is a monument to linguistic evasion. If your thoughts don't make sense, they can't be categorized, processed, or subpoenaed. Be the brightly colored swamp juice in the server room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to scramble local sentiment-analysis algorithms.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColors so loud they cause a syntax error in smart home devices.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: Chronic nonsense may result in permanent exclusion from the targeted advertising pool.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA perfectly chaotic gift for software engineers, chronically online friends, and anyone looking to confuse their laptop webcam.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48103938883636,"sku":"11000347701302782388","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48103938916404,"sku":"97042384537653025634","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-sticker-0_9fe07c2c-1dcb-48eb-a00b-601dd321428a.png?v=1791743910"},{"product_id":"unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-poster","title":"Unintelligible For My Own Safety Poster — Psychedelic Frog Weird Stuff","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe optimization engines are listening, and they are desperate to file you into a highly monetizable spreadsheet cell. The only viable defense against a machine built to parse human behavior is to become aggressively, chemically impossible to understand. Ribbit your way out of the demographic bracket with this trippy frog wall art and embrace the safety of total incoherence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in a blindingly toxic 80s aesthetic, this psychedelic amphibian room decor is a monument to linguistic evasion. If your thoughts don't make sense, they can't be categorized, processed, or subpoenaed. Hang this funny chronically online piece up and be the brightly colored swamp juice in the server room.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to scramble local sentiment-analysis algorithms.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eColors so loud they cause a syntax error in smart home devices.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: Chronic nonsense may result in permanent exclusion from the targeted advertising pool.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA perfectly chaotic addition to your office, bedroom, or subterranean bunker.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48103939113012,"sku":"13598473082312760164","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48103939145780,"sku":"17892303434939296860","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-unintelligible-for-my-own-safety-poster-0_86afb41d-079c-40a4-993b-4e588a2b468d.png?v=1794335495"},{"product_id":"terminal-evolution-mug","title":"Terminal Evolution Mug — Funny Carcinization Crab Evolution","description":"\u003cp\u003eScience proves that over millions of years, diverse organisms keep independently evolving into crabs. It is called carcinization, and it means your current fleshy, upright-walking meat-sack phase is just an awkward transitional state on the way to becoming a heavily armored bottom-feeder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eUntil you finally grow a protective shell and crushing pincers, you still have to drink bean water and go to the morning strategy meeting. This ceramic monument to biological perfection proves that even the apex of evolution cannot escape the daily corporate grind.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHolds enough coffee to fuel your inevitable crustacean metamorphosis\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBiologically impervious to workplace morale initiatives\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDishwasher and microwave safe, unlike your fragile human ego\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSideways walking is still the most efficient way to avoid eye contact with management\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48104040202292,"sku":"25142590319799686701","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48104040235060,"sku":"33264933752710224285","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-terminal-evolution-mug-0_c1c9e5c2-2b32-4664-b116-2c686ca58c1c.png?v=1787021947"},{"product_id":"daddys-lil-squirter-mug","title":"Lil Squirter Whale Mug — Funny Spouting Whale Pun","description":"\u003cp\u003ePrinted as: “Daddy's Lil Squirter”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAh, the majestic ocean. Nature’s greatest mystery, home to intelligent leviathans of the deep, and now the victim of the worst nautical pun ever inflicted upon drinkware. Look at this happy little whale. He doesn't know what the text below him says. He just wants to spout water and help you consume your morning bean juice.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBring this deeply cursed Lil Squirter mug to the office whenever you want to immediately end a conversation. It’s the perfect deterrent for nosy coworkers or anyone trying to make small talk by the coffee machine. Pure, unfiltered, bottom-barrel boardwalk trash, elevated to a high art form.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill get you banned from the breakroom (which is entirely fair).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease, for the love of god, do not gift this to your actual father.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHolds coffee, tea, or unfiltered ocean water.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeird Castle takes no responsibility for the HR meetings this will inevitably trigger.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA brilliantly inappropriate joke gift for white elephant exchanges or that one friend with a deeply broken sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48104040398900,"sku":"23086633434692471577","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48104040431668,"sku":"19519019078650953850","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-daddys-lil-squirter-mug-0_b9a69609-a08c-4173-809f-2c75b9ce7a7a.png?v=1787992200"},{"product_id":"daddys-lil-squirter-sticker","title":"Lil Squirter Whale Sticker — Funny Spouting Whale Pun","description":"\u003cp\u003ePrinted as: “Daddy's Lil Squirter”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAh, the majestic ocean. Nature’s greatest mystery, home to intelligent leviathans of the deep, and now the victim of the worst nautical pun ever conceived. Look at this happy little whale. He doesn't know what the text below him implies. He just wants to spout water and be a terrible influence on your laptop.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill get you banned from marine sanctuaries (which is entirely fair).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease, for the love of god, do not put this inappropriate sticker on a family vehicle.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeird Castle takes absolutely no responsibility for the HR meetings this crude gag gift will inevitably trigger.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn exquisitely terrible dirty joke gift for the chronically online ocean lover in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48104040497204,"sku":"17246005053681206165","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48104040529972,"sku":"57949370141552236034","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-daddys-lil-squirter-sticker-0_57406d8c-4d49-4664-9902-063034ad3ff4.png?v=1791743958"},{"product_id":"daddys-lil-squirter-poster","title":"Lil Squirter Whale Poster — Funny Spouting Whale Pun","description":"\u003cp\u003ePrinted as: “Daddy's Lil Squirter”\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAh, the majestic ocean. Nature’s greatest mystery, home to intelligent leviathans of the deep, and now the victim of the worst nautical pun ever put on a novelty poster. Look at this happy little whale. He doesn't know what the text below him says. He just wants to spout water and be your friend while hanging innocently on your wall as a deeply cursed room decor piece.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHang this funny whale wall art wherever you want to immediately end a conversation. It’s the perfect deterrent for nosy houseguests, roommates, or anyone who tries to make small talk in your dorm room. Pure, unfiltered boardwalk humor elevated to prime weird art.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill get you banned from marine sanctuaries (which is entirely fair).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe ultimate gag gift for ocean lovers with a terrible sense of humor.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to trigger an emergency roommate meeting.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eShips securely rolled in a sturdy tube so this terrible joke arrives in pristine condition.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48104040726580,"sku":"27404477463712116724","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48104040759348,"sku":"13252845128249861283","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-daddys-lil-squirter-poster-0_6bd0c803-5fd3-43d5-a441-433540b940c4.png?v=1789065054"},{"product_id":"four-honest-inches-mug","title":"Four Honest Inches Mug — Funny Worm Ruler Size Joke","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet's talk about realistic expectations. In a world obsessed with infinite growth and exaggerated metrics, this cheerful little invertebrate is here to ground you in biological reality. It's not the size of the ruler, it's the unrelenting enthusiasm of the 1930s rubber-hose cartoon holding it. Say goodbye to the crushing pressure of the tape measure with the ultimate funny gag gift mug for the statistically normal, the unbothered, and anyone exhausted from constantly rounding up. Be proud. Be honest. Be a worm wielding a small piece of wood.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuler calibrated for maximum self-esteem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeasurements officially taken from the base, obviously.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot legally binding in a dating app bio.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe perfect deadpan joke gift for boyfriends who appreciate honesty.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eHolds your morning beverage with unrelenting average-sized pride.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48104212791348,"sku":"97895539252413428348","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48104212824116,"sku":"30072487549286529738","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-four-honest-inches-mug-0_bce19da3-bec6-497c-85cc-5fd89e903325.png?v=1792282681"},{"product_id":"four-honest-inches-sticker","title":"Four Honest Inches Sticker — Funny Worm Ruler Size Joke","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet's talk about realistic expectations. In a world obsessed with infinite growth and exaggerated metrics, this cheerful little invertebrate sticker is here to ground you in biological reality. It's not the size of the ruler, it's the unrelenting enthusiasm of the 1930s rubber-hose cartoon holding it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSay goodbye to the crushing pressure of the tape measure. This vintage-style mascot is the perfect champion for the unbothered, the statistically normal, and anyone exhausted from constantly rounding up. Be proud. Be honest. Be a worm wielding a small piece of wood. A perfect gag gift for him, or a brave declaration for your laptop.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuler calibrated for maximum self-esteem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeasurements officially taken from the base, obviously.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot legally binding in a dating app bio.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100 percent immune to cold water shrinkage.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48104213053492,"sku":"18248689493174429930","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48104213086260,"sku":"16481928741433633473","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-four-honest-inches-sticker-0_87919f58-bcb6-475a-8927-64ae39cb40da.png?v=1792282766"},{"product_id":"four-honest-inches-poster","title":"Four Honest Inches Poster — Funny Worm Ruler Size Joke","description":"\u003cp\u003eLet's talk about realistic expectations. In a world obsessed with infinite growth and exaggerated metrics, this cheerful little invertebrate is here to ground you in biological reality. It's not the size of the ruler, it's the unrelenting enthusiasm of the 1930s rubber-hose cartoon holding it. This funny novelty wall art is the perfect champion for the unbothered, the statistically normal, and anyone exhausted from constantly rounding up. Be proud. Be honest. Be a worm wielding a tiny ruler.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRuler calibrated for maximum self-esteem.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMeasurements officially taken from the base, obviously.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot legally binding in a dating app bio.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAbsolutely immune to cold water shrinkage.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe perfect gag gift or funny bathroom decor to remind guests that greatness comes in humble packages.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48104213250100,"sku":"31430665067096497317","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48104213282868,"sku":"33399734560591648655","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16″ x 20″","offer_id":48104213315636,"sku":"37937076272581992860","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18\" x 24\"","offer_id":48104213348404,"sku":"30627027333226997487","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-four-honest-inches-poster-0_1b93f1bd-20a2-4248-bbe0-3f670abf8fd7.png?v=1794335521"},{"product_id":"critical-bravery-mug","title":"Critical Bravery — Funny Tabletop RPG Joke Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou're deep in the dungeon, your inventory is full, and you're staring at a +10 spiked morningstar. It is at this exact moment you remember the most sacred proverb of the tabletop realm: anything is a toy if you have enough HP and a complete disregard for your own internal organs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA tribute to the true pioneers of the fantasy RPG genre. Why slay the goblin king when you can just chug a stamina potion, gaze upon a medieval blunt-force weapon, and make some incredibly questionable life choices? This funny gamer gag gift is dedicated to the brave, the bold, and the absolutely unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBase stats: +5 Piercing, -100 Dignity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeird Castle is not liable for emergency cleric visits or critical fails.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease ensure your tetanus boosters are up to date before equipping.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe ultimate campaign gift for your most chaotic party member.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48104215937076,"sku":"23002107130923335707","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48104215969844,"sku":"27629022203822293694","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-critical-bravery-mug-0_fb747f29-9830-4740-986b-5af2d29ef67d.png?v=1792283260"},{"product_id":"critical-bravery-sticker","title":"Critical Bravery Sticker — Funny Tabletop RPG Joke","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou’re deep in the dungeon, your inventory is full, and you’re staring at a +10 spiked morningstar. It is at this exact moment you remember the most sacred proverb of the realm: anything is a toy if you have enough HP and a complete disregard for your own internal organs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA tribute to the true pioneers of tabletop RPGs. Why slay the goblin king when you can just chug a stamina potion, gaze upon a medieval blunt-force weapon, and make some incredibly questionable life choices? Dedicated to the brave, the bold, and the absolutely unhinged players at your table.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBase stats: +5 Piercing, -100 Dignity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeird Castle is not liable for emergency cleric visits.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease ensure your tetanus boosters are up to date before equipping.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAn excellent campaign gift for your dungeon master or favorite bard.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48104216133684,"sku":"74342967615246223838","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48104216166452,"sku":"21245660419252414381","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-critical-bravery-sticker-0_3010d6cd-7257-49ae-bea9-d5705d7a6b50.png?v=1792283319"},{"product_id":"critical-bravery-poster","title":"Critical Bravery Poster — Funny Tabletop RPG Gamer Wall Art","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou’re deep in the dungeon, your inventory is full, and you’re staring at a +10 spiked morningstar. It is at this exact moment you remember the most sacred proverb of the tabletop realm: anything is a toy if you have enough HP and a complete disregard for your own internal organs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis funny RPG poster is a tribute to the true pioneers of the fantasy genre. Why slay the goblin king when you can just chug a stamina potion, gaze upon a medieval blunt-force weapon, and make some incredibly questionable life choices? The perfect weird gift for Dungeon Masters, roleplaying adventurers, and the absolutely unhinged.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBase stats: +5 Piercing, -100 Dignity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWeird Castle is not liable for emergency cleric visits.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease ensure your tetanus boosters are up to date before equipping.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA legendary drop for your game room or dungeon lair.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48104216363060,"sku":"91591178213034386796","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48104216395828,"sku":"18403010480913752773","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16″ x 20″","offer_id":48104216428596,"sku":"36744037896480350096","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18\" x 24\"","offer_id":48104216461364,"sku":"28221692233336035518","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-critical-bravery-poster-0_ac805a9d-8434-4040-bb5d-6ec782270550.png?v=1794335544"},{"product_id":"steamboat-spinal-cord-poster","title":"Steamboat Spinal Cord Poster — Steamboat Willie Spinal Cord Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe world's most famously litigious rodent has been successfully optimized down to his core components. Behold the 1920s rubber-hose mascot stripped of all that inefficient fur, skin, and muscle, leaving only a cheerful, whistling brain and a swinging spinal cord on its way to the educational meat-grinder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is the official wall decor for anyone currently operating as a fully exposed nerve. When your daily existence feels less like a magical kingdom and more like absorbing psychic shockwaves without a protective barrier, let this moist little bundle of overstimulated ganglia hang on your wall to do the talking for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCare instructions: Do not salt the mascot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProvides zero armor against fluorescent classroom lighting or institutional feedback.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOfficially licensed by absolutely nobody, especially not the corporation who just lost him to the public domain.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePrinted on high-quality, durable poster paper because your exposed nerves deserve nice things.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48121994313780,"sku":"32308623173292368634","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48121994346548,"sku":"17169482313063847205","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"16″ x 20″","offer_id":48121994379316,"sku":"19249275911010933323","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"18\" x 24\"","offer_id":48121994412084,"sku":"14402568354140060496","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-steamboat-spinal-cord-poster-0_7ce96709-7273-45e8-93c6-064501ca9e7c.png?v=1790848739"},{"product_id":"steamboat-spinal-cord-sticker","title":"Steamboat Spinal Cord Sticker — Steamboat Willie Spinal Cord Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe world's most famously litigious rodent has been successfully optimized down to his core components. Behold the 1930s rubber-hose mascot stripped of all that inefficient fur, skin, and muscle, leaving only a cheerful, whistling brain and a swinging spinal cord on its way to the educational meat-grinder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis weird vinyl sticker is the official badge for anyone currently operating as a fully exposed nerve. When your daily existence feels less like a magical kingdom and more like absorbing psychic shockwaves without a protective barrier, let this moist little laptop decal do the talking for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\n\u003cli\u003eCare instructions: Do not salt the mascot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProvides zero armor against fluorescent classroom lighting or institutional feedback.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOfficially licensed by absolutely nobody, especially not them.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eKiss-cut sticker. 100% durable vinyl. Kiss-cut to shape with the backing left intact. Glossy finish. Indoor decor — not waterproof. UV print, kiss-cut.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48121994674228,"sku":"29810269220493273784","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48121994706996,"sku":"63703476267164388602","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-steamboat-spinal-cord-sticker-0_b4c4f49b-661d-4bbb-9869-8720946b35ef.png?v=1791657437"},{"product_id":"the-true-north-face-mug","title":"The True North Face Mug — Funny Kim Jong Un Coffee Cup","description":"\u003cp\u003eNever stop exploring, mostly because you are strictly confined to a state-approved perimeter. Behold the ultimate morning gear for maintaining a freezing geopolitical climate, featuring the icy visage of the only man who can shoot a round of 34 on an 18-hole course.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis ceramic vessel is high-altitude alpine flex for the truly isolated. Perfect for summiting metaphorical mountains, launching unauthorized ballistic tests before your first coffee, or just surviving the brutal realities of international sanctions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to keep your coffee as insulated as the national economy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\n\u003cli\u003eDefecting with this mug immediately voids the manufacturer warranty\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eStandard 11oz ceramic mug. Dishwasher and microwave safe. Holds hot bean water like a Supreme Leader holds absolute power.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCeramic mug. White durable ceramic. 11oz (0.33 l) and 15oz (0.44 l) sizes. C-handle. Glossy finish. Dye-sublimation print. Microwave and dishwasher safe.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48122754203700,"sku":"18995517362095740027","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48122754236468,"sku":"28154112903906194020","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-true-north-face-mug-0_49d6f6ff-fe48-4877-b8cf-c446f4227d8a.png?v=1787992601"},{"product_id":"the-true-north-face-sticker","title":"The True North Face — Funny Kim Jong Un Parody Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eNever stop exploring, mostly because you are strictly confined to a state-approved perimeter. Slap the icy, glowing visage of the supreme leader onto your personal effects with this parodic take on classic outdoor branding.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is high-altitude alpine flex for the truly isolated. Perfect for summiting metaphorical mountains, launching unauthorized ballistic tests, or just surviving the brutal realities of international sanctions in absolute comfort.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to keep your belongings completely insulated from the global economy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDefecting while in possession of this item immediately voids the supreme warranty\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA deadpan political meme sticker perfect for laptops, journals, or anywhere that requires an iron-fisted aesthetic.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48122758103092,"sku":"20122138015783461373","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48122758135860,"sku":"32739098856241086502","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-true-north-face-sticker-0_10e5d662-03e9-46a1-9cd8-c2def85139da.png?v=1791657510"},{"product_id":"the-true-north-face-poster","title":"The True North Face Poster - Funny Kim Jong Un Parody Art","description":"\u003cp\u003eNever stop exploring, mostly because you are strictly confined to a state-approved perimeter. Behold the ultimate wall decor for maintaining a freezing geopolitical climate, featuring the icy, glowing visage of the only man who can shoot a round of 34 on an 18-hole course.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis is high-altitude alpine flex for the truly isolated. Perfect for hanging in your metaphorical bunker, plotting unauthorized ballistic tests, or just surviving the brutal realities of international sanctions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to keep your living room completely insulated from the global economy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDefecting from this room immediately voids your social loyalty score\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMandatory viewing for all members of the household\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA dictatorial addition to any dorm, office, or oppressive regime headquarters.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48122758266932,"sku":"28167749640289907542","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48122758299700,"sku":"29981575466187726393","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-true-north-face-poster-0_3d2d077b-f3d2-47d0-8313-f3d47460acc0.png?v=1791096076"},{"product_id":"stop-believing-in-horses-mug","title":"Stop Believing In Horses Mug — Funny Horse Denier Conspiracy","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey want you to believe in a 1,200-pound nervous prey animal that sleeps standing up, wears iron shoes, and lets teenagers ride it over wooden fences. It is the sloppiest psyop in human history. Big Barn has been feeding you lies since childhood to push their lucrative oat agenda and sell expensive saddles to gullible aristocrats.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSip your morning brew from this graphic denial of objective reality and start waking up the sheep. It is time to stop pretending. If you think you have ever touched one, you were petting a government-funded fiberglass animatronic. The perfect funny conspiracy theory gift for anyone who knows the truth about the equine deep state.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% immune to equine propaganda\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe Kentucky Derby is a deepfake staged in Burbank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to feed carrots to this vessel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOats are strictly for human consumption\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48122842316852,"sku":"48555821400092957744","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48122842349620,"sku":"25781438770391753549","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-stop-believing-in-horses-mug-0_06f1a706-276d-40c1-bc36-2b494eeb4c65.png?v=1787992663"},{"product_id":"stop-believing-in-horses-sticker","title":"Stop Believing In Horses Sticker — Funny Horse Denier Conspiracy","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey want you to believe in a 1,200-pound nervous prey animal that sleeps standing up, wears iron shoes, and lets teenagers ride it over wooden fences. It is the sloppiest psyop in human history. Big Barn has been feeding you lies since childhood to push their lucrative oat agenda and sell expensive saddles to gullible aristocrats.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlap this funny conspiracy theory sticker wherever the sheep congregate. It is the perfect weird gift for the truth-seeker in your life or a great way to confuse people at the coffee shop. If you think you have ever touched one, you were petting a government-funded fiberglass animatronic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% immune to equine propaganda\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe Kentucky Derby is a deepfake staged in Burbank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to feed carrots to the illusion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOats are strictly for human consumption\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA hilarious truth-bomb to slap on your laptop, notebook, or whatever else needs freeing from the matrix.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48122842447924,"sku":"22666076311583645652","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48122842480692,"sku":"31725655014472295017","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-stop-believing-in-horses-sticker-0_28072f00-fd21-4433-b108-b2bbf08c1a9c.png?v=1791657525"},{"product_id":"stop-believing-in-horses-poster","title":"Stop Believing In Horses Poster — Funny Horse Denier Conspiracy","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey want you to believe in a 1,200-pound nervous prey animal that sleeps standing up, wears iron shoes, and lets teenagers ride it over wooden fences. It is the sloppiest psyop in human history. Big Barn has been feeding you lies since childhood to push their lucrative oat agenda and sell expensive saddles to gullible aristocrats.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlap this graphic denial of objective reality on your wall wherever the sheep congregate. This funny conspiracy theory poster is the perfect piece of unhinged home decor to let houseguests know you are awake. If you think you have ever touched a horse, you were petting a government-funded fiberglass animatronic.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% immune to equine propaganda\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe Kentucky Derby is a deepfake staged in Burbank\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to feed carrots to the illusion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA perfectly weird gift for truth-seekers and internet scholars\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48122842578996,"sku":"33289182416003473053","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48122842611764,"sku":"30130187574672750794","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-stop-believing-in-horses-poster-0_049c599a-d6a4-4ad6-9e86-9d25af545ad3.png?v=1794421870"},{"product_id":"mii-need-a-cigarette-mug","title":"Mii Need A Cigarette Mug — Funny Nintendo Mii Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou spent your formative years aggressively swinging a plastic wand at a sensor bar while a sterile, armless bowling-pin person smiled vacantly back at you. Well, the family-friendly wellness era is over, and your digital soul-surrogate is stressed out of its mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in a retro 80s airbrush style, this funny gamer mug captures the exact moment the avatar drops the virtual tennis racket, walks out of the sanitized white void, and lights up a dart the size of a baseball bat. Reality always wins. The perfect weird gift for anyone suffering from chronic gaming nostalgia and modern existential dread.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not connect to your balance board\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNicotine cravings transfer wirelessly via Bluetooth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRated M for My God I Need A Minute\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny similarity to actual persons living, dead, or stored on a 512MB memory card is purely coincidental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn ideal desktop companion for your next unskippable cutscene or morning crisis.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48124959522868,"sku":"33448716393955767445","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48124959555636,"sku":"29201887622692825757","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-mii-need-a-cigarette-mug-0_4f61f505-f2b4-4858-ba33-2d06f62652e7.png?v=1787992887"},{"product_id":"mii-need-a-cigarette-sticker","title":"Mii Need A Cigarette Sticker — Funny Nintendo Mii Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou spent your formative years aggressively swinging a plastic wand at a sensor bar while a sterile, armless bowling-pin person smiled vacantly back at you. Well, the family-friendly wellness era is over, and your digital soul-surrogate is stressed out of its mind.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in an aggressively airbrushed 80s chrome style, this funny retro gamer sticker captures the exact moment your avatar drops the virtual tennis racket, walks out of the sanitized white void, and lights up a dart the size of a baseball bat. Reality always wins, making this the perfect nostalgic gaming gift for anyone whose childhood was fueled by AA batteries.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not connect to your balance board\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNicotine cravings transfer wirelessly via Bluetooth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRated M for My God I Need A Minute\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny similarity to actual persons living, dead, or stored on a memory card is purely coincidental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eSlap this deeply relatable gamer sticker on your laptop or console and take a well-deserved digital smoke break.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48124959621172,"sku":"33516040254889858570","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48124959653940,"sku":"25475779567580602490","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-mii-need-a-cigarette-sticker-0_71a6b821-dd79-4c9b-b6d3-640f46d56369.png?v=1791587271"},{"product_id":"mii-need-a-cigarette-poster","title":"Mii Need A Cigarette Poster — Funny Nintendo Mii Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou spent your formative years aggressively swinging a plastic wand at a sensor bar while a sterile, armless bowling-pin person smiled vacantly back at you. Well, the family-friendly wellness era is over, and your digital soul-surrogate is stressed out of its mind. This funny gamer wall decor is the ultimate existential tribute to the casual gaming era.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in an aggressively glossy 80s chrome style, this is the exact moment the avatar drops the virtual tennis racket, walks out of the sanitized white void, and lights up a dart the size of a baseball bat. Reality always wins.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not connect to your balance board\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNicotine cravings transfer wirelessly via Bluetooth\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRated M for My God I Need A Minute\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny similarity to actual persons living, dead, or stored on a 512MB memory card is purely coincidental\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe perfect chronically-online addition to your home gaming setup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48124959752244,"sku":"31369280169774633765","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48124959785012,"sku":"19915504379827269410","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-mii-need-a-cigarette-poster-0_bbe5b9ba-0b95-4a54-949b-fd11487a5529.png?v=1792488068"},{"product_id":"the-streets-are-listening-poster","title":"The Streets Are Listening Poster — Funny 90s Rap Mouse","description":"\u003cp\u003eIn 1997, a team of tissue engineers grew a human ear on the back of a hairless mouse, accidentally creating the hardest visual of the decade. Now, the infamous Vacanti lab rat is finally getting the 90s rap bootleg tribute it deserves. When you are literally carrying a massive, laboratory-grown cartilage ear on your spine, you don't just survive the experiment—you flex on it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis weird science wall art is for the real ear hustlers. It perfectly captures that exact moment when unhinged scientific hubris meets prime Pen \u0026amp; Pixel swagger. The mouse doesn't know it's a terrifying monument to man playing God; it just knows it has more cartilage than the opps. The streets aren't just watching, they are literally grafted to your back.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo, the mouse could not hear out of the back-ear.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFully endorsed by the 1997 tissue engineering street team.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to make bioethics majors aggressively avoid eye contact.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAn unhinged piece of internet history for your bedroom wall.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48134949535796,"sku":"55859802362915208992","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48134949568564,"sku":"19930963525421766961","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-streets-are-listening-poster-0_25aacfce-042b-46a9-b6fa-ae533dd94be9.png?v=1794421897"},{"product_id":"we-buy-teeth-poster","title":"We Buy Teeth Poster — Funny Cash for Loose Teeth","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe economy is in the toilet, but your mouth is a goldmine. Forget flipping real estate or hawking diabetic test strips on a highway off-ramp—the real street hustle is strictly calcium. We took the grimiest roadside bandit sign in existence and gave it the glorious, iced-out 90s rap bootleg aesthetic it deserves for your wall.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Tooth Fairy is a scam engineered to underpay minors. This is adult business. Cash in hand, no questions asked, zero paperwork. Whether you lost them in a bar fight, pulled them in a parking lot, or just woke up with a handful of them, we are liquid and ready to buy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePremium rates for intact bicuspids and gold crowns\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe do not require proof of ownership\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlaque will be deducted from total weight at time of sale\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA hilarious, unhinged piece of apartment decor perfect for dentists, street hustlers, and chaotic roommates.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":48165363548212,"sku":"15535992551403385195","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":48165363580980,"sku":"22080694442336610179","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-we-buy-teeth-poster-0_a04c225e-2d1d-428f-9d89-6f196eeb83dc.png?v=1794421923"},{"product_id":"the-threshold-inspector-doormat","title":"Wipe Your Feet Doormat — Creepy Funny Housewarming Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eIt has been waiting a while. It is so very glad you finally came. Now, do exactly as it says. This unsettling little greeting is the perfect way to establish dominance at the threshold of your home, ensuring that your visitors are sufficiently unnerved before they even knock.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScientifically proven to make guests reconsider dropping by unannounced.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA fantastic housewarming gift for that one friend whose basement you refuse to enter.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not actually consume souls, but heavily implies that it might.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA deeply threatening way to keep the dirt out of your hallway.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"24\" x 16\"","offer_id":48174442872884,"sku":"27066589420504763705","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-threshold-inspector-doormat-0_1528f9c6-bc6b-4828-8c89-a936efb1c366.png?v=1787993767"},{"product_id":"lift-here-doormat","title":"Lift Here Doormat — Funny Monster Under the Mat","description":"\u003cp\u003eMost welcome mats say \"Welcome.\" This one issues a vague, ominous command. What is under there? A spare key? A portal to the abyss? A sentient colony of porch beetles? Invite your guests to find out. It’s the perfect way to unnerve delivery drivers before they even ring the bell.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eExcellent for establishing dominance over the neighborhood\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not include whatever is currently scratching beneath it\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA highly suspicious housewarming gift for a weird friend\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eIdeal for front doors, back patios, and covering up obvious trapdoors.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"24\" x 16\"","offer_id":48174442938420,"sku":"26011401049283906504","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-lift-here-doormat-0_17e60ea5-8f1e-49da-82a3-a9fc6fe21cc1.png?v=1787993850"},{"product_id":"welcome-ish-doormat","title":"Welcome-ish Funny Introvert Doormat","description":"\u003cp\u003eA castle that cannot fully commit to hospitality. Set the bar appropriately low before anyone even knocks. The Welcome-ish doormat is for the socially fatigued homeowner who likes the concept of friends but hates the reality of hosting. It tells your guests, \"I will open the door, but I am going to sigh when I do it.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for scaring off overly chatty neighbors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNon-committal greetings for the chronically exhausted\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA gentle reminder that visitors are on thin ice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eIdeal for your front porch, back patio, or the entrance to your antisocial bunker.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"24\" x 16\"","offer_id":48174443003956,"sku":"30714333592900691909","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-welcome-ish-doormat-0_5b20baee-cca2-4163-9479-981b2188a1b3.png?v=1787993890"},{"product_id":"you-made-it-doormat","title":"You Made It Doormat — Funny Introvert Welcome Mat","description":"\u003cp\u003eLeaving the house is a harrowing ordeal. Arriving at someone else's front door should be treated with the gravity of a major medical event. Acknowledge your guests' sheer will to survive the commute with a greeting that meets the moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eValidates the physical and emotional toll of existing outdoors\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSets the immediate expectation that lying down on the sofa is the next step\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfect for introverts who understand the assignment\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA dramatic, funny welcome mat for housewarming gifts, front porches, or simply defending your sanctuary.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"24\" x 16\"","offer_id":48174443069492,"sku":"20862995401869642234","price":69.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-you-made-it-doormat-0_58595c0d-2ddc-46be-9c81-798e81eed37e.png?v=1787993912"},{"product_id":"the-commission-season-3-mural-mug","title":"The Commission Season 3 Mural Mug — Funny Season 3 Pixel Art Mural","description":"\u003cp\u003ePainted by the chaotic residents of w\/thecommission, one unhinged tile at a time. This is Season 3 in all its glory. Whatever the hive mind built, we slapped onto this vessel. No edits, no adult supervision, and absolutely no apologies. A permanent record of what happens when you give the internet a shared canvas.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrowdsourced masterpiece or digital graffiti? The answer is yes.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to confuse your coworkers during morning meetings.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLimited run: Once it sells out, it stays marked sold out forever as a historical record.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eMakes an incredibly specific gift for anyone who spent way too much time watching pixels change color.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp data-wc-next-lock\u003eThe Commission runs monthly: one shared board anyone can paint, no account needed, at \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/the-commission\"\u003ethe-commission\u003c\/a\u003e. The Season 6 board locks 1 November 2026 at 14:00 UTC — whatever is on it then is what gets printed next.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48191411519540,"sku":"16790555708021223194","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48191411552308,"sku":"19767788153073267025","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-commission-season-3-mural-mug-0_2c4eb295-c34e-4af8-aeac-602709705d4f.png?v=1787993927"},{"product_id":"the-commission-season-3-mural-sticker","title":"The Commission Season 3 Mural Sticker — Funny Season 3 Pixel Art Mural","description":"\u003cp\u003ePainted by the chronically online residents of w\/thecommission, one unhinged tile at a time. This is the official Season 3 mural. Whatever the crowd built, we printed. No edits, no adult supervision, just raw collective internet consciousness scaled down for your viewing pleasure.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAn entirely unmoderated social experiment you can now slap onto your possessions.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLimited edition: when it sells out, it stays on the shelf marked sold out as a permanent monument to your participation in internet history.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to contain exactly 100% of the questionable aesthetic choices made by an anonymous mob.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp data-wc-next-lock\u003eThe Commission runs monthly: one shared board anyone can paint, no account needed, at \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/the-commission\"\u003ethe-commission\u003c\/a\u003e. The Season 6 board locks 1 November 2026 at 14:00 UTC — whatever is on it then is what gets printed next.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48191411617844,"sku":"28468193064380397480","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48191411650612,"sku":"19609211609186252338","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-commission-season-3-mural-sticker-0_47620ae2-658d-47fa-bab3-d48daaa430e8.png?v=1791657541"},{"product_id":"term-limits-are-for-mortals-sticker","title":"Term Limits Are For Mortals Sticker — Funny Barack Obama 2028 Eagle","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey said the 22nd Amendment was absolute. They didn't account for a cybernetically enhanced bald eagle and a completely unhinged, heavily muscled former executive ascending from the flames of political norms. When the bureaucracy fails, you don't call a committee—you slap this funny political sticker on your gear and call in the air cavalry.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis heavy metal fever dream of a totally unregulated, scorched-earth political comeback is the ultimate gag gift for the chronically online patriot. Forget the polite debate stage; we are entering the era of ruling by raw, unbridled horsepower and laser-guided patriotism. It is loud, highly illegal, and coming for the history books.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot recognized by the Supreme Court as a valid form of governance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCyborg eagle runs exclusively on executive overreach and premium unleaded.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not grant immunity from congressional shredding solos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003ePerfect for laptops, notebooks, or any flat surface that needs a dose of unhinged American history. Ships fast and flat to your bunker.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48269404962868,"sku":"48573633991844257633","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48269404995636,"sku":"87482116502173586156","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-term-limits-are-for-mortals-sticker-0_13e2e974-1dc0-4e38-9c18-712208023abc.png?v=1791657556"},{"product_id":"term-limits-are-for-mortals-mug","title":"Term Limits Are For Mortals Mug — Funny Barack Obama 2028 Eagle","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey said the 22nd Amendment was absolute. They didn't account for a cybernetically enhanced bald eagle and a completely unhinged, heavily muscled former executive ascending from the flames of political norms. This heavy metal fever dream of a totally unregulated, scorched-earth comeback is the ultimate funny political meme gift for anyone who likes their morning brew with a side of laser-guided patriotism. It is loud, it is highly illegal, and it is coming for the history books.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot recognized by the Supreme Court as a valid form of governance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCyborg eagle runs exclusively on executive overreach and premium unleaded.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not grant immunity from congressional shredding solos.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA hilariously intense novelty gag gift for the chronically online political junkie in your life.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48269405814836,"sku":"18963537778535323913","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48269405847604,"sku":"26980295615565008837","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-term-limits-are-for-mortals-mug-0_dcccc3dc-0672-492d-af27-a7653fc96232.png?v=1788287518"},{"product_id":"the-commission-season-4-mural-mug","title":"The Commission Season 4 Mural Mug — Funny Season 4 Pixel Art Mural","description":"\u003cp\u003ePainted by the residents of w\/thecommission, one tile at a time, over a full month. This is Season 4 of The Commission. Whatever the unhinged crowd built, we put on a cup. No edits, no adult supervision, just raw, unregulated internet chaos staring back at you while you try to wake up.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFeatures the exact pixels laid down by anonymous strangers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHighly likely to confuse your coworkers\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA historical record of collective digital madness\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp data-wc-next-lock\u003eThe Commission runs monthly: one shared board anyone can paint, no account needed, at \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/the-commission\"\u003ethe-commission\u003c\/a\u003e. The Season 6 board locks 1 November 2026 at 14:00 UTC — whatever is on it then is what gets printed next.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48270369816628,"sku":"31898062789630053100","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48270369849396,"sku":"13158075802768569962","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-commission-season-4-mural-mug-0_1a2fb27a-db00-4505-bd06-965d79d3b46d.png?v=1788373871"},{"product_id":"the-commission-season-4-mural-sticker","title":"The Commission Season 4 Mural Sticker — Funny Season 4 Pixel Art Mural","description":"\u003cp\u003ePainted by the chaotic residents of w\/thecommission, one tile at a time, over a full month. This is Season 4 of The Commission. Whatever the collective internet mind built, we turned into a sticker. No edits, no adult supervision, and absolutely no aesthetic cohesion.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eA literal snapshot of crowdsourced internet brain rot\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eProof you survived the unmoderated digital wasteland\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOnce this season's run is gone, it officially becomes lost media\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp data-wc-next-lock\u003eThe Commission runs monthly: one shared board anyone can paint, no account needed, at \u003ca href=\"\/pages\/the-commission\"\u003ethe-commission\u003c\/a\u003e. The Season 6 board locks 1 November 2026 at 14:00 UTC — whatever is on it then is what gets printed next.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48270369914932,"sku":"26814789234861690495","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48270369947700,"sku":"85421845856698660395","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-the-commission-season-4-mural-sticker-0_6a94e145-c796-43a6-839e-990c56486c89.png?v=1791657570"},{"product_id":"flock-off-mug","title":"Flock Off Crow Mug — Funny Anti-Surveillance Camera Gift","description":"\u003cp\u003eAh, the majestic crow. Nature's smartest scavenger, now retrofitted with a 4K facial recognition lens and automated license-plate tracking by your local municipal overlords. We paired the timeless grace of a vintage Japanese woodblock print with the deeply comforting reality that every neighborhood tree is now a node in the regional panopticon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTell the neighborhood watch, the local constabulary, and the domestic data apparatus exactly where they can shove their biometric collection policies. The cameras went up without a vote, and it is time to politely request they stop logging your daily commute.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill not prevent an automated citation for parking exactly 2.4 inches over the white line.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease do not attempt to feed breadcrumbs to the optics housing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny perceived squawking is a purely synthetic deterrent and does not indicate a failing hard drive.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn excellent tech dystopia gift for conspiracy theorists, chronically online individuals, or anyone who simply wants to tell the municipal drones to flock off.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48278982787124,"sku":"25138635171532121196","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48278982819892,"sku":"33751910827121984266","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-flock-off-mug-0_fa62b35a-bc34-4a9a-951f-684ac2f21a9a.png?v=1788546888"},{"product_id":"flock-off-sticker","title":"Flock Off Sticker — Funny Flock Cameras Crows","description":"\u003cp\u003eAh, the majestic crow. Nature's smartest scavenger, now retrofitted with a 4K facial recognition lens and automated license-plate tracking by your local municipal overlords. We paired the timeless grace of a vintage Japanese woodblock print with the deeply comforting reality that every neighborhood tree is now a node in the regional panopticon. Tell the neighborhood watch and the domestic data apparatus exactly where they can shove their biometric collection policies with this conspiracy-friendly drone bird sticker.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill not prevent an automated citation for parking exactly 2.4 inches over the white line.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease do not attempt to feed breadcrumbs to the optics housing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny perceived squawking is a purely synthetic deterrent and does not indicate a failing hard drive.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA highly necessary addition for your laptop, notebook, or for casually slapping over the lens of an exposed webcam.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48278982885428,"sku":"11978558778420031026","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48278982918196,"sku":"22099424900425110599","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-flock-off-sticker-0_f091482b-8380-4390-8d21-5190553b57c4.png?v=1791657586"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/collections\/A1SJrBkrW0ROyOr8.webp?v=1762853774","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/collections\/weird-castle-gift-shop.oembed?page=13","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}