{"title":"Weird Objects","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"box-of-absolutely-nothing","title":"Box of Absolutely Nothing","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"288\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"136\" data-end=\"151\"\u003eDescription\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"151\" data-end=\"154\"\u003eThe Box of Absolutely Nothing is the ultimate gift for someone who has everything, wants nothing, or only deserves the bare minimum.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"290\" data-end=\"458\"\u003eInside this sleek, plastic clamshell is… nothing. No fluff. No filler. No regrets. Just a high-effort, low-effort gesture that screams, “I heard you… and I did less.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"460\" data-end=\"589\"\u003ePerfect for white elephant parties, emotionally distant coworkers, or that brother-in-law who insists, “I don’t need anything.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"591\" data-end=\"605\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"591\" data-end=\"603\"\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"607\" data-end=\"859\"\u003e📦 Includes 100% pure, unfiltered, USDA-grade Nothing\u003cbr data-start=\"660\" data-end=\"663\"\u003e♻️ Lightweight, recyclable packaging\u003cbr data-start=\"699\" data-end=\"702\"\u003e🤯 Delivers maximum confusion, minimum responsibility\u003cbr data-start=\"755\" data-end=\"758\"\u003e🥂 Triple-distilled for maximum pointlessness\u003cbr data-start=\"803\" data-end=\"806\"\u003e🎁 The perfect gift for people who don’t want gifts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"861\" data-end=\"881\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"861\" data-end=\"879\"\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"883\" data-end=\"1098\"\u003eContents: Absolutely Nothing\u003cbr data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"914\"\u003ePackaging: Plastic clamshell\u003cbr data-start=\"942\" data-end=\"945\"\u003eDimensions: Pocket-sized (because nothing takes up no space)\u003cbr data-start=\"1005\" data-end=\"1008\"\u003eWeight: Practically zero\u003cbr data-start=\"1032\" data-end=\"1035\"\u003eAge Rating: Ageless\u003cbr data-start=\"1054\" data-end=\"1057\"\u003ePackage Includes: A whole lotta nothing\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46982289096756,"sku":"B0DJ1QH4LR","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/23Tacr8Mj8S6abkg.webp?v=1753348329"},{"product_id":"dumbass-bandages","title":"Dumbass Bandages (20 Count)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"126\" data-end=\"190\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"126\" data-end=\"141\"\u003eDescription\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"141\" data-end=\"144\"\u003eThese aren’t just bandages. They’re lessons.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"192\" data-end=\"458\"\u003eFor klutzes, contractors, and coworkers who really should’ve known better, Dumbass Bandages turn every oops into an opportunity to publicly acknowledge your poor decision-making. Individually wrapped, latex-free, and hilariously sterile — just like your love life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"460\" data-end=\"559\"\u003eSlap one on a paper cut. A skinned knee. A broken ego.\u003cbr data-start=\"514\" data-end=\"517\"\u003eThen carry on like the champ you aren’t.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"561\" data-end=\"575\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"561\" data-end=\"573\"\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"576\" data-end=\"737\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"576\" data-end=\"610\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"578\" data-end=\"610\"\u003e20-pack of latex-free bandages\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"611\" data-end=\"653\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"613\" data-end=\"653\"\u003eIndividually wrapped for maximum shame\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"654\" data-end=\"695\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"695\"\u003eSterile, waterproof, and regret-proof\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"696\" data-end=\"737\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"698\" data-end=\"737\"\u003eFits fingers, knees, and fragile egos\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"739\" data-end=\"752\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"739\" data-end=\"750\"\u003eDetails\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"897\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"753\" data-end=\"785\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"755\" data-end=\"785\"\u003eSize: Standard assorted cuts\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"786\" data-end=\"841\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"788\" data-end=\"841\"\u003ePackaging: Box labeled loud enough to embarrass you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"842\" data-end=\"897\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"844\" data-end=\"897\"\u003eMaterial: Non-woven fabric + adhesive reality check\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46982423412788,"sku":"B0BCNGQTVG","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/uxHDBljgvL2HH7SZ.webp?v=1753349595"},{"product_id":"oldgitamol-gag-gift","title":"OldGitamol™ Gag Gift (Jelly Bean Pill Bottle)","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"344\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"166\" data-end=\"181\"\u003eDescription\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"181\" data-end=\"184\"\u003eSymptoms: Grumbling knees, sudden lawn rage, thinking 9 PM is “late.”\u003cbr data-start=\"253\" data-end=\"256\"\u003eTreatment: One (1) dose of OldGitamol, taken with laughter and a glass of prune juice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"346\" data-end=\"403\"\u003eLooks like a real pill bottle. Works like a sugar rush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"405\" data-end=\"419\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"405\" data-end=\"417\"\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"420\" data-end=\"677\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"420\" data-end=\"499\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"422\" data-end=\"499\"\u003e🍬 Packed with jelly beans that taste way better than your cholesterol meds\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"500\" data-end=\"581\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"502\" data-end=\"581\"\u003e🛍️ Comes in a fake pharmacy bag for maximum believability, minimum liability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"582\" data-end=\"677\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"584\" data-end=\"677\"\u003e🎂 Perfect gag for 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, or any age where back pain becomes a personality\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"679\" data-end=\"697\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"679\" data-end=\"695\"\u003eSide Effects\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"698\" data-end=\"802\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"698\" data-end=\"728\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"700\" data-end=\"728\"\u003e😂 Uncontrollable giggling\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"729\" data-end=\"754\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"731\" data-end=\"754\"\u003e🕴️ Pranked coworkers\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"755\" data-end=\"802\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"757\" data-end=\"802\"\u003e👴 Getting called “young man” sarcastically\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"804\" data-end=\"869\"\u003eBecause sometimes the best medicine is jelly beans in disguise.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"891\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"871\" data-end=\"889\"\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"892\" data-end=\"1150\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"892\" data-end=\"924\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"894\" data-end=\"924\"\u003eProduct Type: Gag gift candy\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"925\" data-end=\"986\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"927\" data-end=\"986\"\u003eIncludes: 1 fake pill bottle + jelly beans + pharmacy bag\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"987\" data-end=\"1049\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"989\" data-end=\"1049\"\u003eMaterials: Plastic bottle, paper bag, assorted jelly beans\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1050\" data-end=\"1090\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1052\" data-end=\"1090\"\u003eDimensions: Approx. 4.5\" × 2\" bottle\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1091\" data-end=\"1150\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1093\" data-end=\"1150\"\u003eNot for actual medical use (unless “sugar high” counts)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46982777438260,"sku":"B0CKDP18JV","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/xfQo6MneBUZ9Snal.webp?v=1753352744"},{"product_id":"jackasspirin-gag-gift-box","title":"JackAsspirin™ Gag Gift Box","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"128\" data-end=\"188\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"128\" data-end=\"143\"\u003eDescription\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"143\" data-end=\"146\"\u003eFinally — a cure for chronic jackassery.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"190\" data-end=\"425\"\u003eJackAsspirin™ is your go-to behavioral neutralizer for the loudest, rudest, most interruptive menaces in your life. It looks like the real deal, but the only side effect is uncontrollable laughter (and maybe some broken friendships).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"427\" data-end=\"441\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"427\" data-end=\"439\"\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"442\" data-end=\"743\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"442\" data-end=\"532\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"444\" data-end=\"532\"\u003e💊 Fake prescription pill box designed for maximum believability and minimum tolerance\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"533\" data-end=\"586\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"535\" data-end=\"586\"\u003e🛍️ Includes pharmacy-style bag so it feels legit\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"587\" data-end=\"653\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"589\" data-end=\"653\"\u003e🔁 Re-giftable — fill it with candy, cash, insults, or regrets\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"654\" data-end=\"743\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"656\" data-end=\"743\"\u003e🎭 Perfect gag gift for birthdays, office parties, and interventions no one asked for\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"745\" data-end=\"783\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"745\" data-end=\"781\"\u003eProvides “Effective” Relief From\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"784\" data-end=\"886\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"784\" data-end=\"807\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"786\" data-end=\"807\"\u003e▸ Serial Snarkiness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"808\" data-end=\"835\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"810\" data-end=\"835\"\u003e▸ Chronic Interruptitis\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"836\" data-end=\"861\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"838\" data-end=\"861\"\u003e▸ Unwarranted Bravado\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"862\" data-end=\"886\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"864\" data-end=\"886\"\u003e▸ Excessive Loudness\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"888\" data-end=\"908\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"888\" data-end=\"906\"\u003eSpecifications\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"1165\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"909\" data-end=\"943\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"911\" data-end=\"943\"\u003eProduct Type: Gag gift box set\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"944\" data-end=\"1003\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"946\" data-end=\"1003\"\u003eIncludes: 1 empty pill-style box + 1 pharmacy-style bag\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1004\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1006\" data-end=\"1051\"\u003eMaterials: Printed cardboard box, paper bag\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1052\" data-end=\"1098\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1054\" data-end=\"1098\"\u003eDimensions: Box approx. 4.5\" × 2.5\" × 1.5\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1099\" data-end=\"1165\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1101\" data-end=\"1165\"\u003eNot for actual medical use (unless laughter counts as therapy)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46982792970292,"sku":"B0D1853DYJ","price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/cj7OsGR9HmscWFuC.webp?v=1753352851"}],"url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/collections\/weird-objects.oembed","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}