{"product_id":"100-genuine-battle-freaks-blanket","title":"100% Genuine Battle Freaks — Blanket","description":"\u003cp\u003eWelcome back to the discount toy aisle of 1998, where the plastics gave you a headache and the mascots looked like they had a violent criminal record. We bypassed the beloved franchises entirely to bring you the genuine, legally evasive bootlegs your grandmother accidentally bought you for your birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a jaundiced rat burdened with human ears and a miserable turtle carrying a cinderblock, this aggressively official artwork exists purely to exploit international copyright loopholes. It captures the deeply unsettling energy of a factory trying to guess what western children want, and getting it horribly, hilariously wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe fine print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not make direct eye contact with the yellow rodent.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% official merchandise of a franchise that does not legally exist.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill immediately forfeit any battle against a licensed cease-and-desist.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEvolves strictly into a protracted trademark dispute.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"50\" × 60\"","offer_id":48315900592180,"sku":"21917982580797939493","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/2316050592532682412_2048.jpg?v=1788979824","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/100-genuine-battle-freaks-blanket","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}