{"product_id":"5-hour-felony-hoodie","title":"5-Hour Felony — Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eRight between the unregulated delta-8 gummies and the dust-covered rhino pills sits the ultimate checkout-counter impulse buy. We took Dr. Jekyll's original Victorian serum for unleashing mankind's basest, most violent urges and crammed it into a two-ounce plastic bottle that tastes aggressively of blue raspberry. Why drink coffee to survive a shift when you can down neon sludge that immediately overrides your moral compass?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't for finishing a spreadsheet; this is for terrorizing the locals and biting the side-view mirrors off parked cars. Do not consume if you have a conscience, a pulse, or a pending court date.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 40,000% of your daily recommended malice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous cane-assaults and top hat materialization\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe FDA has actively begged us to stop mailing them samples\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for any crimes committed while your alter-ego has the wheel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343933714484,"sku":"90611687697031638306","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48343933747252,"sku":"15877890198897232047","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343933780020,"sku":"17844267427216550680","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48343933812788,"sku":"33928177122545406308","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48343933845556,"sku":"29297178835282321447","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343933878324,"sku":"12186267532258103076","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48343933911092,"sku":"23494897682395509067","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343933943860,"sku":"31606689154899162788","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48343933976628,"sku":"31527581418637791773","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934009396,"sku":"94784110347252706578","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343934042164,"sku":"13364973601702027301","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48343934074932,"sku":"87559252363995952309","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343934107700,"sku":"22754200280866291922","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48343934140468,"sku":"30773934999015539391","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934173236,"sku":"95749417052416600638","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343934206004,"sku":"13087710661856714614","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343934238772,"sku":"28674958019559192312","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343934271540,"sku":"18900304889154652231","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48343934304308,"sku":"33922811717156121945","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934337076,"sku":"69256907582320744867","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48343934369844,"sku":"23340438515046359197","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48343934402612,"sku":"24327501312831454052","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48343934435380,"sku":"87238649882977271991","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48343934468148,"sku":"99413545699237042734","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48343934500916,"sku":"12379688270872989477","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-5-hour-felony-hoodie-0_6879fcb7-c209-4f77-9a87-d34c1f6b14cf.png?v=1789533696","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/5-hour-felony-hoodie","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}