{"product_id":"5-hour-felony-socks","title":"5-Hour Felony — Socks","description":"\u003cp\u003eRight between the unregulated delta-8 gummies and the dust-covered rhino pills sits the ultimate checkout-counter impulse buy. We took Dr. Jekyll's original Victorian serum for unleashing mankind's basest, most violent urges and crammed it into a two-ounce plastic bottle that tastes aggressively of blue raspberry. Why drink coffee to survive a shift when you can down neon sludge that immediately overrides your moral compass?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't for finishing a spreadsheet; this is for terrorizing the locals and biting the side-view mirrors off parked cars. Do not consume if you have a conscience, a pulse, or a pending court date.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 40,000% of your daily recommended malice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous cane-assaults and top hat materialization\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe FDA has actively begged us to stop mailing them samples\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for any crimes committed while your alter-ego has the wheel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\/4 Crew","offer_id":48343940661300,"sku":"23388012404429890031","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ankle","offer_id":48343940694068,"sku":"21964743926445070667","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Crew","offer_id":48343940726836,"sku":"27994125545008282159","price":26.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-5-hour-felony-socks-0_2d222d90-5113-4488-9c58-f97f4995b14d.png?v=1789534512","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/5-hour-felony-socks","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}