{"product_id":"5-hour-felony-sticker","title":"5-Hour Felony Sticker — Funny Energy Drink Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003eRight between the unregulated delta-8 gummies and the dust-covered rhino pills sits the ultimate checkout-counter impulse buy. We took Dr. Jekyll's original Victorian serum for unleashing mankind's basest, most violent urges and crammed it into a two-ounce plastic bottle that tastes aggressively of blue raspberry. Why drink coffee to survive a shift when you can down neon sludge that immediately overrides your moral compass?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis funny energy drink parody sticker isn't for finishing a spreadsheet; this is for terrorizing the locals and biting the side-view mirrors off parked cars. Do not consume if you have a conscience, a pulse, or a pending court date.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContains 40,000% of your daily recommended malice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous cane-assaults and top hat materialization\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe FDA has actively begged us to stop mailing them samples\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for crimes committed while your alter-ego has the wheel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn ideal gag gift for night shift workers or unhinged friends, this weird novelty sticker ships flat and applies smoothly to laptops and notebooks.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48343939711028,"sku":"20175619437526848542","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48343939743796,"sku":"11141228984825198415","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-5-hour-felony-sticker-0_c7c7d150-2ed9-4048-9de8-879f8295c476.png?v=1789534331","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/5-hour-felony-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}