{"product_id":"america-runs-on-slaughter-hoodie","title":"America Runs On Slaughter — Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou cannot just wake up at 5 AM, put on a weathered hockey mask, and start chasing teenagers through the woods on zero sleep. Stalking is cardio. Machete swinging requires rotator cuff stamina. Before you systematically eliminate a cabin full of hormonally charged camp counselors, you need a large iced regular and a Boston Kreme.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for what happens if they are out of French Vanilla.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChainsaws must be left idling in the parking lot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe real horror is the artificial sweetener aftertaste.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease do not make eye contact with the guy in the William Shatner mask.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50490059817012,"sku":"14284337309132666853","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":50490059849780,"sku":"10622420115502340162","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50490059882548,"sku":"10474254880494074492","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":50490059915316,"sku":"27588891331895614145","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":50490059948084,"sku":"10926813849924590606","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50490059980852,"sku":"28327809078980456443","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":50490060013620,"sku":"17785566736309963986","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50490060046388,"sku":"32972566957961514344","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":50490060079156,"sku":"30244115633346583087","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":50490060111924,"sku":"23989464752461402653","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50490060144692,"sku":"32806741559931525413","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":50490060177460,"sku":"10043946258021395524","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50490060210228,"sku":"23795438159333325458","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":50490060242996,"sku":"33622834415341651260","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":50490060275764,"sku":"39628711890600411467","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50490060308532,"sku":"15493121517484994095","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":50490060341300,"sku":"32919496344606221350","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50490060374068,"sku":"55379382466892165969","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":50490060406836,"sku":"60577178023224073730","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":50490060439604,"sku":"36256026844696761739","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":50490060472372,"sku":"14047900489662820908","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":50490060505140,"sku":"22526073134727181343","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":50490060537908,"sku":"24938281158293962253","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":50490060570676,"sku":"62472209639571947941","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":50490060603444,"sku":"32210452668450788439","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-america-runs-on-slaughter-hoodie-0_e4c2964c-9977-4845-9ddb-a7d0477f860c.png?v=1790036283","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/america-runs-on-slaughter-hoodie","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}