{"product_id":"america-runs-on-slaughter-mug","title":"America Runs On Slaughter — Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou cannot just wake up at 5 AM, put on a weathered hockey mask, and start chasing teenagers through the woods on zero sleep. Stalking is cardio. Machete swinging requires rotator cuff stamina. Before you systematically eliminate a cabin full of hormonally charged camp counselors, you need a large iced regular and a Boston Kreme.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for what happens if they are out of French Vanilla.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChainsaws must be left idling in the parking lot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe real horror is the artificial sweetener aftertaste.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease do not make eye contact with the guy in the William Shatner mask.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":50490058113076,"sku":"28657784368227770590","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":50490058145844,"sku":"24498060601786831895","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-america-runs-on-slaughter-mug-0_65295346-bc7f-4ea7-b2ce-2aa13ed0da97.png?v=1790015808","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/america-runs-on-slaughter-mug","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}