{"product_id":"america-runs-on-slaughter-poster","title":"America Runs On Slaughter — Poster","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou cannot just wake up at 5 AM, put on a weathered hockey mask, and start chasing teenagers through the woods on zero sleep. Stalking is cardio. Machete swinging requires rotator cuff stamina. Before you systematically eliminate a cabin full of hormonally charged camp counselors, you need a large iced regular and a Boston Kreme.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot responsible for what happens if they are out of French Vanilla.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChainsaws must be left idling in the parking lot.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe real horror is the artificial sweetener aftertaste.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease do not make eye contact with the guy in the William Shatner mask.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":50490058702900,"sku":"18359431081064741439","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":50490058735668,"sku":"31717010833925036160","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-america-runs-on-slaughter-poster-0_cbeaaa10-e4b5-4178-bc8f-4e9a8eae3b3c.png?v=1790015932","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/america-runs-on-slaughter-poster","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}