{"product_id":"basic-baphomet-sticker","title":"Basic Baphomet — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eHell is empty, and the dark lords are currently carrying 40-ounce pastel hydration vessels through a suburban parking lot. Baphomet didn't endure millennia of occult persecution just for you to suffer from a mild dehydration headache. Drink your water, you beautiful, doomed vessel of flesh.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA monument to the only two things holding your psyche together: a vague allegiance to the dark arts and aggressive, performative hydration. Because when the structural collapse of society finally hits, at least your emotional support cup will keep your iced matcha cold for 24 hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill not fill the gaping existential void in your chest\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKeeps damned souls cold for up to 12 hours\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFits comfortably in most standard cup holders and summoning circles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHydrate aggressively, perish eventually\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48104040300596,"sku":"21931027429736664067","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48104040333364,"sku":"28510896425763320211","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/9868934983011104383_1200.jpg?v=1785987397","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/basic-baphomet-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}