{"product_id":"canned-fight-or-flight-mug-1","title":"Canned Fight-Or-Flight — Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou aren't going to backflip a dirtbike over a canyon. You are going to sit at a dual-monitor setup and vibrate until you mistake a Slack ping for a mild cardiac event. The extreme sports marketing is a lie; this is just liquid panic for the chronically online.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBehold the true mascot of modern caffeination: a feral trash marsupial operating at 180 beats per minute. We stripped away the neon tribal claws and tactical-grade branding to give you exactly what is inside the aluminum cylinder: raw, unadulterated existential dread.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause spontaneous hyper-speed doomscrolling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZero calories, infinite unregulated nervous system activity\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot FDA approved for outrunning your own intrusive thoughts\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48133031067700,"sku":"52557004748167134281","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48133031100468,"sku":"20952475629461353347","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/5790470065705847289_2048.jpg?v=1786481704","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/canned-fight-or-flight-mug-1","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}