{"product_id":"cellular-denial-creme-sticker","title":"Cellular Denial Crème — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe multi-billion dollar beauty industry wants to sell you \"radiance\" and \"renewal.\" We just want to sell you the physical manifestation of your own mounting dread. It features the heavy frosted glass and brushed gold of a $400 department store miracle serum, wrapped around the only active ingredient that actually matters: pure, unadulterated denial.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou aren't \"defying age,\" you are just rubbing expensive lipids into your decaying biomatter to temporarily soothe the creeping realization that time is undefeated. It is an ultra-luxurious tribute to the daily ritual of looking in the mirror and deciding to lie to yourself for just one more day.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not contain retinol, peptides, or hope\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClinically proven to be a paste you put on your face\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot evaluated by the FDA for the treatment of existential terror\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApply nightly until the heat death of the universe\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48087041638452,"sku":"85740060759773285380","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48087041671220,"sku":"57703938226069557887","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/3640635932279643042_1200.jpg?v=1785500821","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/cellular-denial-creme-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}