{"product_id":"dead-battery-hoodie","title":"Dead Battery — Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eLook, funerals are expensive and towing him to the morgue feels like a rip-off. He was running fine yesterday. Just pull the Subaru around, hook up the leads, and let's see if we can get a turnover before we throw the whole guy away.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe ultimate suburban dad flex is refusing to accept human mortality when there is a perfectly good set of heavy-duty jumper cables in the garage. Just give it a little gas. If this does not work, we are tapping the casket with a wrench.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBlack goes to ground, red goes to the sternum\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe are not legally responsible for whatever wakes up\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStill cheaper than an out-of-network ambulance\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease do not flood the engine\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48361294004276,"sku":"21158905160976948480","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48361294037044,"sku":"12258976896422922021","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48361294069812,"sku":"31767020777750394025","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48361294102580,"sku":"54011536692687136032","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48361294135348,"sku":"11889015962121347114","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48361294168116,"sku":"21772888460055322434","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48361294200884,"sku":"15083783341475585006","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48361294233652,"sku":"99266574453293784753","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48361294266420,"sku":"43588697386608410519","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48361294299188,"sku":"21110909264663363412","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48361294331956,"sku":"14941223008208659332","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48361294364724,"sku":"10510706755471704010","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48361294397492,"sku":"31277561754424524226","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48361294430260,"sku":"17866523852745460504","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48361294463028,"sku":"19368952881482744789","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48361294495796,"sku":"24682514731725375417","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48361294528564,"sku":"29717818533147570632","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48361294561332,"sku":"29557226375107138547","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48361294594100,"sku":"33119001102854070462","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48361294626868,"sku":"10055678048398284483","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48361294659636,"sku":"15372596549453409079","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48361294692404,"sku":"28103610247055398867","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48361294725172,"sku":"20523100741860211021","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48361294757940,"sku":"16446066946531376471","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48361294790708,"sku":"15695232468379140372","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/4361735542879868637_2048.jpg?v=1789721380","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/dead-battery-hoodie","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}