{"product_id":"deferred-maintenance-sticker","title":"Deferred Maintenance — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eCities and slumlords use the term 'deferred maintenance' when a bridge or a load-bearing wall is about thirty seconds away from a catastrophic localized event. We thought it was time to apply that same level of gross civic negligence to the human body.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a heavily compromised crash test dummy held together by industrial tape, spite, and a stubborn refusal to schedule a physical. You aren't mysterious, and you aren't cursed. You are simply a depreciating asset whose internal infrastructure budget was quietly slashed in 2016.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoad-bearing duct tape is not a medically recognized substitute for serotonin.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCurrent structural integrity: thoughts, prayers, and spite.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not inspect under the hood (it is entirely microplastics and cortisol).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48064022675508,"sku":"12634316488199192003","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48064022708276,"sku":"16715232593203891662","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/7543284278442346622_1200.jpg?v=1784986971","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/deferred-maintenance-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}