{"product_id":"deferred-maintenance-tee","title":"Deferred Maintenance — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eCities and slumlords use the term 'deferred maintenance' when a bridge or a load-bearing wall is about thirty seconds away from a catastrophic localized event. We thought it was time to apply that same level of gross civic negligence to the human body.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFeaturing a heavily compromised crash test dummy held together by industrial tape, spite, and a stubborn refusal to schedule a physical. You aren't mysterious, and you aren't cursed. You are simply a depreciating asset whose internal infrastructure budget was quietly slashed in 2016.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLoad-bearing duct tape is not a medically recognized substitute for serotonin.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCurrent structural integrity: thoughts, prayers, and spite.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not inspect under the hood (it is entirely microplastics and cortisol).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48064023265332,"sku":"19909189400553424325","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48064023298100,"sku":"29659267786747716009","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48064023330868,"sku":"25089962001141758408","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48064023363636,"sku":"10288810780277608588","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48064023396404,"sku":"12691343877708005841","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48064023429172,"sku":"75236004465521328696","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48064023461940,"sku":"19769427091758511976","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48064023494708,"sku":"27331171362022485373","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48064023527476,"sku":"29958055311329993221","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48064023560244,"sku":"25999158203918316692","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/9198735096300862562_2048.jpg?v=1784987000","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/deferred-maintenance-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}