{"product_id":"diarrhea-thirst-quencher-mug","title":"Diarrhea Thirst Quencher — Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou tracked your macros, bought the expensive carbon-plated shoes, and trained for six months, only to discover that peak human performance ends in a portable toilet. Inspired by the viral 2026 Hyrox incident, this takes the iconic symbol of elite athletic fuel and maps it onto the feral, humiliating reality of endurance sports.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is nothing more humbling than hitting the wall, except perhaps painting it. Wear it to your next marathon expo, cross-training cult meeting, or while aggressively rehydrating to remind everyone that beneath the premium compression gear, we are all just one bad energy gel away from total catastrophe.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eElectrolyte balance will not save your dignity.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScientifically formulated for the porta-john line.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eZone 2 cardio does not prepare you for zone 5 evacuation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":50485320548404,"sku":"14024476065216223723","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":50485320581172,"sku":"13721004867580153013","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-plate_064496a1-7132-4577-bd72-935123eb2064.png?v=1789842810","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/diarrhea-thirst-quencher-mug","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}