{"product_id":"excruciating-flank-pain-hoodie","title":"Excruciating Flank Pain — Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou know that feeling when a jagged little calcium rock starts tearing its way down your ureter and your only coping mechanism is to dissociate so hard you turn into a 1930s rubber-hose cartoon? We captured that exact vibe. Here is a happy little pixelated star sprinting through the void, completely ignoring the searing, localized agony in the lower left quadrant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt is the perfect aesthetic for an era where surviving your own body requires a GoFundMe and a three-hour wait in a brightly lit hallway. Slap a giant, dopey smile on your face and just keep tapping your foot while your internal organs stage a violent, bloody revolt. Whistle a cheerful tune! The out-of-network specialist will see you in eight to twelve weeks.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot a substitute for actual emergency medical care\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not ask the star for a differential diagnosis\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100 percent chance of sweating profusely while smiling\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe copay for looking at this graphic is eighty-five dollars\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Maroon","offer_id":48125585195060,"sku":"63735540662706857313","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48125585227828,"sku":"24279969100183570622","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48125585260596,"sku":"29411162446543950614","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48125585293364,"sku":"20582163005161347338","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Maroon","offer_id":48125585326132,"sku":"27557671012997674506","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48125585358900,"sku":"13591227948187817966","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48125585391668,"sku":"13631223653092423731","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48125585424436,"sku":"31400778259540768229","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Maroon","offer_id":48125585457204,"sku":"93691692548234168481","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48125585489972,"sku":"12265148689851135532","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48125585522740,"sku":"21361569361584102149","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48125585555508,"sku":"93231774436376123689","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":48125585588276,"sku":"23308256329165051006","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48125585621044,"sku":"32207470144238832408","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48125585653812,"sku":"21398273190559007955","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48125585686580,"sku":"17044324058114098340","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":48125585719348,"sku":"84100715645111453459","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48125585752116,"sku":"18038813532280379924","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48125585784884,"sku":"21442701845764996665","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48125585817652,"sku":"26105733586575327799","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/10773402033732481987_2048.jpg?v=1786231941","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/excruciating-flank-pain-hoodie","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}