{"product_id":"exposed-bone-polish-tee","title":"Exposed Bone Polish — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou have pieces of your actual skeleton hanging out of your face in a damp, bacteria-filled cavern, and if you do not aggressively scrub them twice a day, they will rot and fall out of your head. It is time we stop pretending this is a gentle, minty morning ritual. This is grueling industrial hardware maintenance.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDitch the soft plastic tubes and the euphemisms. We packaged a premium abrasive compound in a heavy-duty automotive shop tin because you are, at your core, just a decaying meat vehicle trying to keep your skull-rocks from rusting. Keep your exposed structural calcium shining like a classic chassis.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIndustrial-grade abrasive for structural facial calcium\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMint flavor permanently replaced with 'Shop Floor Degreaser'\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApply with a heavy-duty wire brush or standard issue bristle-stick\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIf structural rotting persists, consult your authorized skeleton mechanic\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48095423103028,"sku":"97075244074749910941","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48095423135796,"sku":"14361065499598605611","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Natural","offer_id":48095423168564,"sku":"16427916552900704651","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48095423201332,"sku":"14300862337105597498","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48095423234100,"sku":"78562729109741199946","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48095423266868,"sku":"41952045147110659520","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48095423299636,"sku":"26745622384847748282","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Natural","offer_id":48095423332404,"sku":"32299737957358072106","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48095423365172,"sku":"31916910630623065071","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48095423397940,"sku":"20608311356779919487","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48095423430708,"sku":"18088182240573914368","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48095423463476,"sku":"18411788729014599365","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Natural","offer_id":48095423496244,"sku":"64799552336148472384","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48095423529012,"sku":"16763942982022655874","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48095423561780,"sku":"20589305095759152814","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48095423594548,"sku":"71186377061501125480","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48095423627316,"sku":"97380885978080651624","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48095423660084,"sku":"10941758766746372655","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48095423692852,"sku":"18916893060283385271","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48095423725620,"sku":"25054964679168322754","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48095423758388,"sku":"17933568838342006989","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48095423791156,"sku":"31372498708940928624","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48095423823924,"sku":"11455245661981691873","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48095423856692,"sku":"33953813964078780367","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48095423889460,"sku":"15222131324117238664","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/15307358873323762304_2048.jpg?v=1785740157","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/exposed-bone-polish-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}