{"product_id":"extra-butter-molars-blanket","title":"Extra Butter Molars — Blanket","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe lights go down, the previews roll, and you reach a hand into that warm, grease-stained bucket. There is nothing quite like the deafening, bone-shattering crunch of enamel on enamel echoing through a silent auditorium to let everyone know you sprung for the jumbo size.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSkip the unpopped kernels and get straight to the calcium. A full pound of high-gloss, freshly extracted bicuspids drenched in whatever synthetic yellow fluid the lobby pumps out of that warm nozzle. It is the ultimate concession stand flex for anyone who likes a little extra bite with their double feature.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmall: 150 teeth. Jumbo: We do not ask where they come from.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay contain traces of silver amalgam and plaque.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNo free refills if you bleed in the bucket.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"50\" × 60\"","offer_id":48233596059700,"sku":"14247890708660914781","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/16189875077719612047_2048.jpg?v=1787612712","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/extra-butter-molars-blanket","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}