{"product_id":"festive-beating-receptacle-sticker","title":"Festive Beating Receptacle — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eLook at you. Bright, colorful, and strung up by the neck so everyone can take turns swinging a wooden bat at your vital organs until you rupture and spill cheap garbage onto the lawn. Happy birthday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor anyone whose core function in the modern economy is just absorbing blunt force trauma with a painted-on smile. You are a hollow papier-mâché vessel of existential dread. Wear the truth, and let the universe know you are in the optimal position to receive the stick.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoes not contain high-quality candy, mostly just microplastics and dread\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: Wearer will burst open after three to five mandatory fun events\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not spin wearer before striking, they are already severely disoriented\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48087043735604,"sku":"86898906524892969045","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48087043768372,"sku":"17729661252234276540","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/12206854584357973959_1200.jpg?v=1785500873","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/festive-beating-receptacle-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}