{"product_id":"flock-off-hoodie","title":"Flock Off — Birds Aren't Real Crow Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eAh, the majestic crow. Nature's smartest scavenger, now retrofitted with a 4K facial recognition lens and automated license-plate tracking by your local municipal overlords. We paired the timeless grace of a vintage Japanese woodblock print with the deeply comforting reality that every neighborhood tree is now a node in the regional panopticon.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTell the neighborhood watch, the local constabulary, and the domestic data apparatus exactly where they can shove their biometric collection policies. The birds haven't been real since the Edo period, and it is time to politely request they stop logging your daily commute with this conspiracy-theory-approved crow hoodie.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWill not prevent an automated citation for parking exactly 2.4 inches over the white line.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease do not attempt to feed breadcrumbs to the optics housing.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAny perceived squawking is a purely synthetic deterrent and does not indicate a failing hard drive.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003eA comfortable classic-fit hooded sweatshirt perfect for dodging municipal drones or scrolling declassified documents from the safety of your couch.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48278982983732,"sku":"23382807033333957511","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48278983016500,"sku":"21417692202451975075","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48278983049268,"sku":"27002201065800441548","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48278983082036,"sku":"65580029324708986444","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48278983114804,"sku":"32485666824594050237","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48278983147572,"sku":"23353036526426411363","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48278983180340,"sku":"51345746661174944945","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48278983213108,"sku":"21177608044114945045","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48278983245876,"sku":"96377757184512856112","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48278983278644,"sku":"25414614819627014058","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48278983311412,"sku":"49902669805246490665","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48278983344180,"sku":"99433659453049080572","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48278983376948,"sku":"18263766322889746840","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48278983409716,"sku":"62367637408809675000","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48278983442484,"sku":"73402557660915824897","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48278983475252,"sku":"22869976349785018659","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48278983508020,"sku":"66540391560609130525","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48278983540788,"sku":"13863433567789507331","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48278983573556,"sku":"19056111098636302768","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48278983606324,"sku":"46350313094240250286","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Alpine Green","offer_id":48278983639092,"sku":"42307895127787184155","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48278983671860,"sku":"13492509897904496024","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Blue Aqua","offer_id":48278983704628,"sku":"18919752380034608092","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48278983737396,"sku":"19968194092489394146","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48278983770164,"sku":"28050586175026037616","price":82.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/17445780684642707567_2048.jpg?v=1788354126","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/flock-off-hoodie","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}