{"product_id":"forever-home-tee","title":"Forever Home — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eFinally, a piece of real estate in this economy that doesn't require a 20% down payment, an 8% interest rate, and a bidding war against a bloodsucking private equity firm. Welcome to the ultimate buyer's market.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis 6x2 subterranean studio offers absolute silence, zero property tax after the initial deposit, and neighbors who literally never complain. You've finally made it onto the property ladder. The American Dream is alive and well, you just have to be dead to afford it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed immunity from fluctuating interest rates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSubterranean eco-cooling system (permanently ambient)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLandlord cannot legally enter the premises without a shovel\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIssued by Weird Castle Department of Urban Planning\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48066725347380,"sku":"98114120192661675389","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48066725380148,"sku":"29610375133533438971","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48066725412916,"sku":"15498187282649587022","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48066725445684,"sku":"13565113280580912506","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48066725478452,"sku":"14508744315511763903","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48066725511220,"sku":"15845136966883996226","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48066725543988,"sku":"16963446628090905544","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48066725576756,"sku":"31748160630752812503","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48066725609524,"sku":"88875467558023102060","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48066725642292,"sku":"35577740745128573687","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/13488528577710424766_2048.jpg?v=1785081230","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/forever-home-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}