{"product_id":"hoa-spite-weed-sticker","title":"HOA Spite Weed — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou dump hundreds of dollars into toxic nitrogen blends and core aeration just to watch a prehistoric mutant taproot shatter your driveway and assert dominance. This isn't nature healing. This is nature actively declaring a turf war on your neighborhood and laughing in the face of your chemical spreader.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe definitive white flag for the suburban dream. Let the cul-de-sac know the fight is over, the Kentucky Bluegrass lost, and you now pledge total allegiance to whatever violently aggressive rhizome is currently strangling your prized azaleas.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eChemical defoliants only make it angrier.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAll HOA compliance citations will be composted.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not make sustained eye contact with the foliage.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48235165876276,"sku":"72149007454030973389","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48235165909044,"sku":"12638312912545500069","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/11606441606690095502_1200.jpg?v=1787632099","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/hoa-spite-weed-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}