{"product_id":"hold-your-horses-sticker","title":"Hold Your Horses — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eEveryone acts like snake hair was Athena's ultimate punishment, but reptiles mostly just sleep under heat lamps. The real mythological nightmare is a scalp full of fifty tiny, feral stallions screaming for oats, biting your ears, and violently shitting down your neck.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA completely unhinged visual execution of the worst idiom in the English language. Perfect for when the group chat is spiraling, management is asking for weekend deliverables, or you’re exactly one minor inconvenience away from turning a room full of people into gravel.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not look directly into the eyes of the scalp-stallions.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTurning middle management to stone is legally considered a zoning violation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMane and tail maintenance requires specialized shampoo and a lot of emotional labor.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIf you hear microscopic galloping, run.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48140309659700,"sku":"26472121414543521022","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48140309692468,"sku":"13260035529845764924","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/10150548252324338235_1200.jpg?v=1786609152","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/hold-your-horses-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}