{"product_id":"keeps-em-cold-sticker","title":"Keeps 'Em Cold Sticker — Funny Yeti Cooler Parody","description":"\u003cp\u003ePremium ice retention has finally reached its logical, morbid conclusion. Why settle for a generic rectangular tub when you can trust the exact geometric shape that has successfully kept humanity out of the sun for centuries? It turns out the absolute best vessel for a three-day weekend bender is identical to the one used for eternal rest.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to hold solid ice longer than most people hold grudges.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePerfectly sized for a gross of domestic lagers or an incredibly unlucky hunting buddy.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDoubles as an excellent conversation starter at children's birthday parties.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlease drain the melted ice before initiating a burial at sea.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":67675324940340,"sku":"50950508411857259518","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":67675324973108,"sku":"80947011957625937504","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/wc-shot-keeps-em-cold-sticker-science-0_e2948ae9-1c3c-4558-9f08-ed2fb55b2ca5.png?v=1791455910","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/keeps-em-cold-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}