{"product_id":"minimum-viable-product-tee","title":"Minimum Viable Product — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou are technically functioning. The core features are present: you breathe, you consume lukewarm caffeine, and you occasionally type 'sounds good!' in Slack. Are there critical bugs? Obviously. Is the UI deteriorating rapidly? Absolutely. But according to agile methodology and your middle manager's desperate timeline, you are ready for market.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis melting, exhausted skeleton is the ultimate daily stand-up status for the chronically online and corporately burned out. Stop striving for optimization. Embrace the grim reality of shipping a half-finished, severely compromised version of yourself just to get out the door before Q3 ends.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWarning: May spontaneously deprecate without notice.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eKnown issues: severe memory leaks upon waking, complete structural collapse post-5 PM.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBy displaying this, you agree that dissociating during Zoom calls is a feature, not a bug.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFuture updates, patches, and will to live are definitively not guaranteed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48064022315060,"sku":"29042781359559316067","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48064022347828,"sku":"13285781865277597239","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48064022380596,"sku":"11120891296539559415","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48064022413364,"sku":"31538060401042145964","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48064022446132,"sku":"31492390843039204689","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48064022478900,"sku":"31619426475284834170","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48064022511668,"sku":"30475396789609580806","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48064022544436,"sku":"11821056933865802107","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48064022577204,"sku":"37812777097268046453","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48064022609972,"sku":"11559789299288054215","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/1481018340601583285_2048.jpg?v=1784986963","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/minimum-viable-product-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}