{"product_id":"native-species-cap","title":"Native Species — Cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eA thirty-five-million-dollar feat of aeronautical engineering designed to project global dominance, versus a very large, slightly irritated amphibian who thinks you sound like a horsefly. Billions in defense contracts cannot save you from millions of years of swamp evolution.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eEmbrace the ultimate biological veto. Let the Pentagon know that low-altitude wetland maneuvers are strictly at their own risk, and that the local ecology remains entirely ungovernable.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot an official FAA low-altitude hazard warning.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to feed the wildlife high-explosive ordnance.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCasualties will be classified as environmental anomalies.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"One size \/ Black","offer_id":48098495561780,"sku":"36577434035295008356","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ White","offer_id":48098495594548,"sku":"56172726155636713036","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One size \/ Charcoal","offer_id":48098495627316,"sku":"25231027323558532226","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/8411187623549905391_2048.jpg?v=1785837190","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/native-species-cap","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}