{"product_id":"number-one-luxury-reptile-crime-hat","title":"Number One Luxury Reptile Crime — Hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eAccept no substitutes for this premium, legally distinct mascot of degenerate behavior. When the official brands demand quiet luxury and generational wealth, we offer loud burglary and the immediate liquidation of physical assets. A flawless translation of high-end aesthetic cues into pure, unfiltered felony.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot affiliated with any legally recognized tennis apparel, aggressive amphibians, or gated communities\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCrowbar is intended for recreational leverage purposes only\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMay cause sudden, overwhelming urges to pawn copper wiring\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe strongly advise against wearing this directly to your parole hearing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"S\/M \/ White","offer_id":48233591636020,"sku":"29111836815740283022","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S\/M \/ Black","offer_id":48233591668788,"sku":"29753236019051261374","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S\/M \/ Dark Navy","offer_id":48233591701556,"sku":"18507997977167765499","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S\/M \/ Royal Blue","offer_id":48233591734324,"sku":"33107637542552662069","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S\/M \/ Red","offer_id":48233591767092,"sku":"23716864314696058020","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L\/XL \/ White","offer_id":48233591799860,"sku":"26827370629401849930","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L\/XL \/ Black","offer_id":48233591832628,"sku":"25944832287152083349","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L\/XL \/ Dark Navy","offer_id":48233591865396,"sku":"14724602984946067956","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L\/XL \/ Royal Blue","offer_id":48233591898164,"sku":"93904830254615903563","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L\/XL \/ Red","offer_id":48233591930932,"sku":"16130257557527770344","price":42.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/7019683911514675805_2048.jpg?v=1787613480","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/number-one-luxury-reptile-crime-hat","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}