{"product_id":"office-of-strategic-narratives-field-ration-unit-sticker","title":"Office of Strategic Narratives — Field Ration Unit — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eRecovered from a conference room that officially never existed, this GSA-surplus thermos saw things it cannot legally confirm. The label is faded. The classification tape is peeling. The contents — per the stenciled text — are \u003cem\u003eLukewarm\u003c\/em\u003e. That is the full, complete, and authorized description. Any further inquiry should be directed to a department whose budget line does not appear in any public document.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Office of Strategic Narratives was a real euphemism for a real function of real governments, which means this thermos is, canonically, a vessel for officially sanctioned bullshit kept at a regulated temperature. It was declassified because it no longer matters, or because they want you to think it no longer matters. Handle accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eContents:\u003c\/strong\u003e Lukewarm\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eOrigin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Interagency. Do not pursue.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassification Status:\u003c\/strong\u003e Declassified (Operationally Irrelevant)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHandle With:\u003c\/strong\u003e Plausible Deniability\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eShelf Life:\u003c\/strong\u003e Indefinite, per program mandate\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eNot To Be Used For:\u003c\/strong\u003e Any purpose this label acknowledges\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eIssued By:\u003c\/strong\u003e Weird Castle Field Operations — Narrative Division\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48027614412852,"sku":"45426339208442751015","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48027614445620,"sku":"11153769018775289488","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/329797995251791522_1200.jpg?v=1783896178","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/office-of-strategic-narratives-field-ration-unit-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}