{"product_id":"premium-bone-vault-schematics-hoodie","title":"Premium Bone Vault Schematics — Hoodie","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhy let your metacarpals rot in a damp catacomb when they could be resting in gold-plated, hermetically sealed splendor? This exploded-view schematic breaks down the ultimate high-net-worth calcium repository, pitched directly from the heavens.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApproved by 4 out of 5 martyred saints for maximum posthumous brand visibility. We stripped away the sacred mystery to reveal what a reliquary actually is: luxury Tupperware for holy femurs. Maximize your corpse's retail footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes crystal viewing window for optimal structural flexing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHigh-density gold leaf prevents unauthorized miracle leakage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBring your own martyr (BYOM)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVoid if bones begin to weep scented oils\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Maroon","offer_id":48086522495028,"sku":"96589164651380641099","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48086522527796,"sku":"24902159385411757883","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48086522560564,"sku":"33297843637281355834","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48086522593332,"sku":"13735821421540972239","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Maroon","offer_id":48086522626100,"sku":"16673816143995826851","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48086522658868,"sku":"11903147251170172791","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48086522691636,"sku":"19569456603340909220","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48086522724404,"sku":"18644165560781533028","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Maroon","offer_id":48086522757172,"sku":"22533350344324873125","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48086522789940,"sku":"23374838730579311539","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48086522822708,"sku":"16949191439510498125","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48086522855476,"sku":"24132863842218885378","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":48086522888244,"sku":"19499862842431189098","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48086522921012,"sku":"78120838159774611167","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48086522953780,"sku":"30089151646021163500","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48086522986548,"sku":"91739867271162044507","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Maroon","offer_id":48086523019316,"sku":"11089012117629389638","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48086523052084,"sku":"21519542927528411712","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":48086523084852,"sku":"50583816231667232230","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48086523117620,"sku":"20270449732673509926","price":54.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/6317628404600557114_2048.jpg?v=1785496767","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/premium-bone-vault-schematics-hoodie","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}