{"product_id":"premium-bone-vault-schematics-sticker","title":"Premium Bone Vault Schematics — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhy let your metacarpals rot in a damp catacomb when they could be resting in gold-plated, hermetically sealed splendor? This exploded-view schematic breaks down the ultimate high-net-worth calcium repository, pitched directly from the heavens.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApproved by 4 out of 5 martyred saints for maximum posthumous brand visibility. We stripped away the sacred mystery to reveal what a reliquary actually is: luxury Tupperware for holy femurs. Maximize your corpse's retail footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes crystal viewing window for optimal structural flexing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHigh-density gold leaf prevents unauthorized miracle leakage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBring your own martyr (BYOM)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVoid if bones begin to weep scented oils\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48086474063924,"sku":"28817200564051804998","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48086474096692,"sku":"32252985940371549260","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/18414985202514107278_1200.jpg?v=1785496557","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/premium-bone-vault-schematics-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}