{"product_id":"premium-bone-vault-schematics-tee","title":"Premium Bone Vault Schematics — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eWhy let your metacarpals rot in a damp catacomb when they could be resting in gold-plated, hermetically sealed splendor? This exploded-view schematic breaks down the ultimate high-net-worth calcium repository, pitched directly from the heavens.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eApproved by 4 out of 5 martyred saints for maximum posthumous brand visibility. We stripped away the sacred mystery to reveal what a reliquary actually is: luxury Tupperware for holy femurs. Maximize your corpse's retail footprint.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIncludes crystal viewing window for optimal structural flexing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHigh-density gold leaf prevents unauthorized miracle leakage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBring your own martyr (BYOM)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eVoid if bones begin to weep scented oils\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48086523248692,"sku":"52063162515085566498","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48086523281460,"sku":"21914905165089602278","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Natural","offer_id":48086523314228,"sku":"22758679048018894534","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Navy","offer_id":48086523346996,"sku":"27565722038675058556","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48086523379764,"sku":"85311271793064893330","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48086523412532,"sku":"13376387554770099392","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48086523445300,"sku":"20948964319875367183","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Natural","offer_id":48086523478068,"sku":"15540580320575209567","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Navy","offer_id":48086523510836,"sku":"18529196954397571705","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48086523543604,"sku":"15131779981328713744","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48086523576372,"sku":"19364316348614112068","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48086523609140,"sku":"28687270099485445716","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Natural","offer_id":48086523641908,"sku":"26060767671110744629","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Navy","offer_id":48086523674676,"sku":"21704122698595535129","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48086523707444,"sku":"58454305543393719528","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48086523740212,"sku":"22196447359214912822","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48086523772980,"sku":"21334986135911503341","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48086523805748,"sku":"17699898797370141069","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48086523838516,"sku":"15793560190804073218","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48086523871284,"sku":"31746958260379031699","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Athletic Heather","offer_id":48086523904052,"sku":"22315262925388982143","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48086523936820,"sku":"51744312368114683855","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Natural","offer_id":48086523969588,"sku":"34245566485663151558","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Navy","offer_id":48086524002356,"sku":"20924731055607442505","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48086524035124,"sku":"26234585563380417096","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/10514931143234222755_2048.jpg?v=1785496779","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/premium-bone-vault-schematics-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}