{"product_id":"snitches-get-sawdust-blanket","title":"Snitches Get Sawdust — Blanket","description":"\u003cp\u003eWe pride ourselves on an open-door policy, provided that door leads directly to the industrial woodchipper. Out here, complaining to the labor board or pointing out that the ventilation system violates federal law is considered a severe breach of our tight-knit family culture.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn uncompromising reminder that loyalty is the highest virtue on the shop floor. Ideal for the shift supervisor who runs a tight ship, enforces a suspiciously loose safety protocol, and has a very specific definition of resolving issues internally.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOSHA inspectors will be aggressively redirected\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGrievances are rapidly processed via the band saw\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eThe owner has investigated himself and found no wrongdoing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWhistleblowers will be efficiently repurposed as landscaping mulch\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"50\" × 60\"","offer_id":48237459603508,"sku":"29286612865471898254","price":79.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/16733531122363737416_2048.jpg?v=1787697044","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/snitches-get-sawdust-blanket","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}