{"product_id":"spooky-season-apex-predator-canvas","title":"Spooky Season Apex Predator — Canvas","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the thirty-somethings who make 'spooky season' their entire unbearable personality from August onwards, meet the final boss. You bought a twelve-foot plastic skeleton on a payment plan; this guy has been actively desecrating a cholera cemetery since 1832 and will still absolutely wreck you for a fun-size Twix.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA gothic testament to violent holiday gatekeeping. Wear this to assert immediate, predatory dominance over the neighborhood trunk-or-treat. The plastic pumpkin isn't cute—it's a high-stakes extortion vessel, and dropping cheap candy into it is a terminal offense.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour decorative lawn tombstones are cultural appropriation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHanding out raisins is an act of war\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe strictly enforce the sanctity of full-size candy bars\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eO-negative preferred, but peanut butter cups will suffice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"0.75'' \/ 11″ x 14″ (Vertical)","offer_id":50574480670772,"sku":"16625683990154090224","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"0.75'' \/ 12″ x 16″ (Vertical)","offer_id":50574480703540,"sku":"29299117394821148164","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"0.75'' \/ 16″ x 20″ (Vertical)","offer_id":50574480736308,"sku":"20067837069209571077","price":59.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/7578922249114521333_2048.jpg?v=1790672867","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/spooky-season-apex-predator-canvas","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}