{"product_id":"spooky-season-apex-predator-poster","title":"Spooky Season Apex Predator — Poster","description":"\u003cp\u003eFor the thirty-somethings who make 'spooky season' their entire unbearable personality from August onwards, meet the final boss. You bought a twelve-foot plastic skeleton on a payment plan; this guy has been actively desecrating a cholera cemetery since 1832 and will still absolutely wreck you for a fun-size Twix.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA gothic testament to violent holiday gatekeeping. Wear this to assert immediate, predatory dominance over the neighborhood trunk-or-treat. The plastic pumpkin isn't cute—it's a high-stakes extortion vessel, and dropping cheap candy into it is a terminal offense.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Fine Print:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYour decorative lawn tombstones are cultural appropriation\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eHanding out raisins is an act of war\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWe strictly enforce the sanctity of full-size candy bars\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eO-negative preferred, but peanut butter cups will suffice\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Weird Castle","offers":[{"title":"11″ x 14″","offer_id":50574486143028,"sku":"28880390044515781003","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"12\" x 18\"","offer_id":50574486175796,"sku":"17863698543475423300","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/17545099398560648930_2048.jpg?v=1790673012","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/spooky-season-apex-predator-poster","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}