{"product_id":"stand-your-groundcover-tee","title":"Stand Your Groundcover — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThere is no American psychosis quite as pure and terrifying as a suburban homeowner defending a freshly aerated lawn. Behind every wholesome neighborhood watch and Homeowners Association lies a dormant, heavily armed paramilitary unit just waiting for an unapproved hedge height to justify extreme measures.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eWe took the classic 1950s suburban patriarch and equipped him for the modern NIMBY holy war. Because when the sanctity of your cul-de-sac's property value is threatened by a stray dandelion or a 2012 Honda Civic parked on the street overnight, a passive-aggressive warning letter just won't cut it anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBylaw 4.1.2: Trespassers will be mulched for the Kentucky Bluegrass.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eStandard issue for all HOA compliance officers.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to make the neighbors with the overgrown fescue sweat.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot legally recognized as a 'Stand Your Ground' defense in court (yet).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48062097653812,"sku":"19268536654019459823","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48062097686580,"sku":"24601448796747237720","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48062097719348,"sku":"33543514341770542461","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48062097752116,"sku":"25430185263483463300","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48062097784884,"sku":"28001359199221661288","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48062097817652,"sku":"33762564317219391873","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48062097850420,"sku":"21651559303837526525","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48062097883188,"sku":"78474755507215141528","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48062097915956,"sku":"26698635121327313737","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48062097948724,"sku":"31488728288607531448","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/192631161362769343_2048.jpg?v=1784873992","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/stand-your-groundcover-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}