{"product_id":"still-processing-tee","title":"Still Processing — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou are doing the work. You are setting boundaries. You are holding space. Unfortunately, your feelings are a live cartoon explosive currently lodged in your upper GI tract. This scruffy avian is the exact avatar of the modern mental health journey: maintaining a dead-eyed, unblinking stare while digesting a literal bomb, calmly waiting for the inevitable catastrophic detonation while using the correct clinical vocabulary.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eStop letting lifestyle influencers tell you that deep breathing will fix the fact that you just swallowed a lit fuse. Perfect for the group chat where everyone is vibrating with unexpressed panic but hiding it behind wellness buzzwords. Let the outside world know you are currently at capacity.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTHE FINE PRINT:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDigestive tract rated for up to 50 megatons of suppressed rage.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMindfulness exercises will not extinguish the fuse.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eNot a substitute for professional explosive ordnance disposal.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBreathe in, breathe out, detonate.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48062791286836,"sku":"32020162922857764314","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48062791319604,"sku":"15681538215724285451","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48062791352372,"sku":"15398057220411832685","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48062791385140,"sku":"30826214551364845346","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48062791417908,"sku":"17421326664036286089","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48062791450676,"sku":"32133605553334046604","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48062791483444,"sku":"17693226646440646393","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48062791516212,"sku":"16479639413139715668","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48062791548980,"sku":"96692699266490478771","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48062791581748,"sku":"33885572495951061058","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/8441576205236887410_2048.jpg?v=1784916312","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/still-processing-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}