{"product_id":"still-unpacking-tee","title":"Still Unpacking — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eEveryone has 'a lot to unpack' these days. It is the polite, sanitized buzzword you use to casually hint at your deep psychological damage over a $14 iced matcha. We decided to strip away the clinical euphemisms and render your trauma as a literal, physical nightmare: a manic cardboard mascot violently ripping its own contents out of its skull.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eForget quiet journaling and pastel Instagram infographics. Self-improvement is a visceral, ugly, endless loop of hauling trash out of the basement of your own brain. Let everyone know that your emotional baggage isn't just a metaphor—it's an active, bleeding hostage situation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOfficially certified by the Bureau of Weaponized Therapy-Speak.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGuaranteed to make your next casual check-in highly uncomfortable.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDisclaimer: We are not licensed professionals and this will not fix you.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not attempt to fold flat.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48064022904884,"sku":"31889662634715215965","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48064022937652,"sku":"28442866080132615124","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48064022970420,"sku":"15458603342419721519","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48064023003188,"sku":"19639889887140302605","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48064023035956,"sku":"33197052878059205663","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48064023068724,"sku":"26711635357001639040","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48064023101492,"sku":"15091644351248808363","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48064023134260,"sku":"15313433283391406092","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48064023167028,"sku":"37250865054792043703","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48064023199796,"sku":"31107209390382668601","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/4829312236524900577_2048.jpg?v=1784986994","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/still-unpacking-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}