{"product_id":"strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-sticker","title":"Strategic Reserve: Thoughts \u0026 Prayers (Stock Status: DEPLETED) — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe United States government maintains strategic reserves of the things that matter most — oil, grain, rare metals. This is the official inventory record for the nation's Thoughts \u0026amp; Prayers stockpile: a single unit, lot-numbered, rubber-hose-cartoon-rendered in loving bureaucratic detail, filed correctly, and marked DEPLETED. Someone was supposed to reorder. They did not. The paperwork, however, is immaculate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDeadpan-institutional critique wearing the costume of the institution itself. The horror isn't that it ran out. The horror is that it was ever managed by a department.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ STOCK STATUS: DEPLETED as of the most recent incident\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Lot No. 00-000-TP: do not attempt to reorder through normal procurement channels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Symbolic comfort issued on a per-tragedy basis; quantities were never sufficient\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ No agency has accepted responsibility for the shortage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ A replenishment memo was drafted; it remains in committee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ The correct paperwork has been filed. The situation has not changed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48055834083380,"sku":"22984211169054848656","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48055834116148,"sku":"99582321499685403819","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/3079095871671872767_1200.jpg?v=1784682163","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}