{"product_id":"strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-tee","title":"Strategic Reserve: Thoughts \u0026 Prayers (Stock Status: DEPLETED) — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe United States government maintains strategic reserves of the things that matter most — oil, grain, rare metals. This is the official inventory record for the nation's Thoughts \u0026amp; Prayers stockpile: a single unit, lot-numbered, rubber-hose-cartoon-rendered in loving bureaucratic detail, filed correctly, and marked DEPLETED. Someone was supposed to reorder. They did not. The paperwork, however, is immaculate.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDeadpan-institutional critique wearing the costume of the institution itself. The horror isn't that it ran out. The horror is that it was ever managed by a department.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ STOCK STATUS: DEPLETED as of the most recent incident\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Lot No. 00-000-TP: do not attempt to reorder through normal procurement channels\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ Symbolic comfort issued on a per-tragedy basis; quantities were never sufficient\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ No agency has accepted responsibility for the shortage\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ A replenishment memo was drafted; it remains in committee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e⚠️ The correct paperwork has been filed. The situation has not changed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48055833526324,"sku":"27095698205416299245","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48055833559092,"sku":"17048361115772153145","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48055833591860,"sku":"10404717671150673296","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48055833624628,"sku":"24546871989024967719","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48055833657396,"sku":"32943310358096096706","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48055833690164,"sku":"73685015133112736858","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48055833722932,"sku":"27155195889795530801","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48055833755700,"sku":"30477847759316114313","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48055833788468,"sku":"26336428241195470348","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48055833821236,"sku":"28496905474116032414","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/16090373867469259643_2048.jpg?v=1784682134","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/strategic-reserve-thoughts-prayers-stock-status-depleted-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}