{"product_id":"tap-to-continue-existing-tee","title":"Tap To Continue Existing — Tee","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe American healthcare system is a simple, elegant transaction: your money or your life. We stripped away the insurance jargon, the endless hold music, and the pharmaceutical ads featuring people riding bikes in slow motion, getting right down to the fundamental point of sale. If you want to keep your cells dividing for another fiscal quarter, just hover your chip over the terminal and pray it doesn't decline.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eRendered in the falsely cheerful, whistling-past-the-graveyard style of a 1930s rubber-hose cartoon, this piece captures the sheer whimsy of being legally extorted for basic survival. Ideal for your next out-of-network consultation or while liquidating your 401(k) to pay for a medically necessary band-aid.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eApproved for all major credit cards and vital organ collateral\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCoverage does not apply to preexisting mortality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDeductible resets every time your heart stops\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIssued by the Weird Castle Department of Medical Extortion\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":48066731180084,"sku":"17869264893222050950","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ White","offer_id":48066731212852,"sku":"18783730405816020905","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":48066731245620,"sku":"33907120165093828831","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ White","offer_id":48066731278388,"sku":"64562293338579275699","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":48066731311156,"sku":"43343505299904371733","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ White","offer_id":48066731343924,"sku":"26332547177486073108","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":48066731376692,"sku":"18929047776177619378","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ White","offer_id":48066731409460,"sku":"12586545734448887053","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":48066731442228,"sku":"25727106602418201012","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ White","offer_id":48066731474996,"sku":"23503441492032664482","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/13650864466206707312_2048.jpg?v=1785081281","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/tap-to-continue-existing-tee","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}