{"product_id":"team-player-sticker","title":"Team Player — Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003eHuman Resources has identified your refusal to swallow active explosives as a 'cultural fit' issue. The modern corporate ecosystem demands total psychological containment. Being a 'team player' simply means internalizing enough unmitigated rage and structural panic to level a city block, all while maintaining a firm handshake and hitting your Q3 deliverables.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBehold your new corporate avatar: a severely sleep-deprived pelican in a mandatory necktie, chainsmoking through the pain while literally holding lit dynamite in its distended flesh pouch. A visceral, sweating monument to everyone currently holding it together by a single, frayed, management-mandated thread.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSide effects of extreme synergy may include spontaneous workplace detonation.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFully compliant with all mandatory Return-To-Office directives.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eIssued by the Weird Castle Department of Human Capital Containment.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":48063680839732,"sku":"27863931131065658316","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4\" × 4\" \/ White","offer_id":48063680872500,"sku":"13081435789080007479","price":4.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/3025263836916446680_1200.jpg?v=1784953612","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/team-player-sticker","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}