{"product_id":"terminal-evolution-mug","title":"Terminal Evolution — Mug","description":"\u003cp\u003eScience proves that over millions of years, diverse organisms keep independently evolving into crabs. It is called carcinization, and it means your current fleshy, upright-walking meat-sack phase is just an awkward transitional state on the way to becoming a heavily armored bottom-feeder.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCast in heavy bronze with the grim authority of a natural history museum exhibit, this desktop monument proves that even the apex of biological perfection cannot escape the daily grind. You finally evolved a protective shell and crushing pincers, and they still made you carry a briefcase to the morning strategy meeting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSolid bronze, heavy enough to weigh down any remaining human optimism\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBiologically impervious to workplace morale initiatives\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eClaws perfectly adapted for severing ethernet cables\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSideways walking is the most efficient way to avoid eye contact with management\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":48104040202292,"sku":"25142590319799686701","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":48104040235060,"sku":"33264933752710224285","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0653\/7340\/5236\/files\/2262150989304486326_2048.jpg?v=1785987376","url":"https:\/\/weirdcastle.com\/products\/terminal-evolution-mug","provider":"Weird Castle","version":"1.0","type":"link"}